just sent this off. no really, i did.

To: SephoraJobs@sephora.com
Cc:
Bcc:
From: ........@GMail.com

Subject: Like all pretty young things, I, too am interested in Sephora.
ATT: AP resume.doc

Dear H.R. Intern who doesn't want to read this:

First off, you look amazing today. I should tell you that before the rest of the world does. I think it's your Cargo/Pupa/Bourjois/Urban Decay Lip Gunk/Gloss/Stain/Stuff...it looks fantastic on you. Well done.

Having praised you adequately, I should mention that I would love a gig at Sephora Headquarters, because it's my favourite beauty store ever. I know my chances of gaining such hot employment are slim-to-none, because rather than contain specific job listings sorted by city or department, your website merely has a pleasant paragraph instructing any and all highlighted, discount-craving, lip gloss-addicted sorority alumna/Miller sister wanna-bes to send an email, if we "wish to learn more about the exciting career opportunities available at the San Francisco-based corporate headquarters of Sephora USA and the foremost beauty Web site Sephora.com...". It further directs that if we "...are interested in finding a position", we are to send a missive to your email address, which probably is a synonym for "never emptied inbox" or "the all delete, all the time show".

No matter. I enjoy long odds and futile attempts at happiness (see: my love life). I love Sephora. And if by some miniscule percent of a percent chance someone with wit is reading this, then mabye, just maybe my resume will survive and get passed along. I dare to dream of an actual interview, but let's not bore you with such fantasy.

At the very least, if you forward this around the office, smile. There's that new miracle cream which is better than botox, to take care of any nascent wrinkles such emotion may cause. You know what I'm referring to...you already work at the mother ship.

Air kisses,

Anna

Comments

[Sin]

Bwah! I love Sephora too, and not just because the cute gay boys there gave me the best makeovers of my life. Any man who can make this Pakistani queen's eyelashes stand out deserves to be worshipped.

And, of course, so do you. This was one of your funniest pieces :)

[A N N A]

THANK YOU for your interest in joining our staff. The resume you provided is important to us. Over the next few weeks we will review your qualifications in light of our staffing needs. If there is a match, one of our Human Resources professionals will be in touch with you. In the event that no immediate match occurs you should know that your information will be maintained in our on-line resume database. Once again, we welcome your interest in working with us as we build innovative world-wide retail concepts.

Sincerely,

Sephora Human Resources

[Amelie Freak]

Omigod! If you get a job with Sephora, do you think you could hook me up with makeup/beauty freebies? Lorac's clickable eye smears are so sweet. The Urban Decay lip gunk will be my next acquisition. Followed by the Michael Kors leg shine, Hanae Mori perfume, Nars The Multiple in Copacabana, Peter Thomas Roth eye cream, Anna Sui mascara, BeneFit cheek stain....but wait, this is about freebies that your company is in the mood to give, n'est-ce pas? Well, so long as it's NOT that sugary-sweet Jessica Simpson Dessert stuff, I'm good to go! Good luck with the job.

[james]

Dear Anna JOhn,

Ur website is excellent and i'm sure a very talented person. I like to say everyone that u are my friend. As I don't have any talents but admire their talents. good luck
god bless u.

james