A N N A J O H N ' S D I A R Y

july 30

weight: 135.5
bodyfat: 22

kcal: :)
vasa: :)

gym: KICKBOXING! second day in a row!

write: :)
read: like a magpie

last type of cheese consumed: chedddddar

i 'mell like: bergamot, coriander, ginger, lavendar. oh, and thermasilk hair conditioner.

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it's taken me two hours to even START this diary entry...the posting window has been open, forlornly waiting, desiring content that i cannot provide. why am i denying typepad (and you)? b/c i can't feel the lower part of my body, damnit.

yesterday's KB class was fantastic b/c it was so different; it was an "emphasis on glutes" sort of hour, and so i had that pleasant feeling of accomplishment that you get when you tear apart a long-neglected muscle group. or two. my adductors and abductors ouch as well, you see. that's to be expected after almost ten days away from they gym. the tissue i think of as my legs (hamstrings, quadriceps, calves) was not sore at all, and that made life bearable. ah, wasn't THAT situation short-lived...

today's class was totally different; different instructor, different drills and way more sparring. i had three different "opponents" who were all asking for it b/c they were all punching (w/awful form i should add) my last nerve. despite my left ankle uncharacteristically giving out astonishingly early in class, i persevered (thank G-D for jordans, yo) and just tried to go easy on it...but these bitches were asking for it, and since we were exploring the gloriously celluloid-worthy world of kicks today, i let them have it. end result? OWWWW. like, way OWWWW. :( now my ass, hips, thighs, calves AND ankle ouch. sheesh.

next class? sunday. hold me.

i think i'll start doing lines of ibuprofen tomorrow morning, even as the case of vanilla silk soymilk-- purchased b/c it helps reduce pain associated with lactic acid build-up, supposedly-- rots. who was i kidding? a case? i only like one kind of soymilk, and that's chocolate. before one of you MENSA-admitted geniuses smirks and comments about how i should just mix in chocolate syrup or something, know this: THAT was what i was planning to do in the first place, when i went against my better judgment and BOUGHT the damned vanilla from costco. how was i supposed to know that when you shake it up and pour it in a glass, it looks like liquified boogers? or the water that drains after you've boiled rice? both of which i'm equally yucked out by. so much for that brilliant, evolved, northern california-apposite, utterly Davis idea. blech. give me cow milk or give me death.

this always happens; i inevitably tell myself, "just write three sentences about what you did today, the final one being, 'that's it, i'm tired and i'm going to bed"...then, i write assloads, making my earlier case of writer's block seem like it was delusional. starting is always the most impossible part, innit?

anyway, i'll leave you all with some linky and it's some primo shit, y'all. after leaving DC in disgust of 2002, i have been less political than i've EVER been in my whole life. a few inspired speeches at this week's otherwise pointless dem convention changed all of that. i'm feeling an energy, a calling, a fire that i haven't been warmed by in a long while. on four separate occasions in the last year, various friends and mentors have offered to get the kerry camp my resume; on four separate occasions in the last year, i demurred. i slightly regret such hesitations now...

wanna know what kind of unpresidential failure we have at 16th and Penn Ave NW? this kind:

The single greatest event of my life.

So I went to protest Dubya today, as he was visiting my humble little burg of East Lampeter, PA...

A friendly Kerry supporter named Mr. Shenk let us use his front yard to display our banners. Now comes the good part. After waiting around for about 45 minutes, the motorcade passed by us again. A few police cars, followed by a van or two, drove by. Then, a Bush/Cheney bus passed, followed by a second one going slower. At the front of this second bus was The W himself, waving cheerily at his supporters on the other side of the highway. Adam, Brendan, and I rose our banner (the More Trees, Less Bush one) and he turned to wave to our side of the road. His smile faded, and he raised his left arm in our direction. And then, George W. Bush, the 43rd president of the United States of America, extended his middle finger.

Read that last sentence again.
I got flipped off by George W. Bush.

A ponytailed man standing next to us confirmed the event, saying, "I do believe the President of the U.S. just gave you boys the finger." We laughed probably for the next half hour, and promptly told everyone we knew. Brendan actually snapped a picture of Bushy in action, but the glare and the tint of the bus windows make it difficult to see him at all. Nonetheless, it was the best possible reaction.

We pissed George W. Bush off. We are true patriots.

now i adore GMail MORE!

who has GMail? i do! i have two, in fact. :D

i love it, and i will go on record saying that it's the best email ever. i know several of you have it, and b/c of that, i thought i'd share some link about stuff you can add to it...i found it whilst surfing recently updated brown blogs, a blog i am currently mad at, b/c it refuses to list me, even though i wrote them very nicely. i have a sneaking suspicion they are discriminating against ABCDs. gah. just say so, and don't waste me time, matey.

anyway, before i deleted the rude person's link to newly updated blogs forever, i decided to click on three different blogs, just to be random; the first two blew, the last one was this one, from someone nice named Nilesh. :)

he had a bunch of GMail tools, and i present my two favourites here (by the by...these are his words, not mine. i feel like putting them in quotes or something, since i straight up copied the following bullets):

- G-Mailto: Sets Gmail as your default mail program in Windows. So when you click on a mailto:// url, your favourite web browser will open up a page with Gmail's Compose window. Pretty nifty.

-GTray: Windows system tray notifier for new Gmail mail.

enjoy. :)

must...go...to...gym.

lest all of you think i'm an avid and willing gym bunny, let me disabuse you of such myth. i spent a week on vacation, didn't work out once, and am now finding it uber-difficult to motivate and get to the gym. (going to bed at 6:30am and waking before noon isn't helping my cause, either)

it's like starting over, when you have to overcome lackadaisical proclivities and excuses in order to get yourself to work out. sigh. i know that in a few weeks, i'll be planning my life around kickboxing (which commences in just 17 minutes), but right now, i'm all "bleh".

my lack of car is not helping matters at ALL. le sick civic is no longer mine, now that mummy's mercedes is DONE. she has my car, and walking in this oppressive valley heat makes me just cringe my barely-healed-from-last-month's-sunburn skin. sigh. i thought this might help some of you, b/c you occasionally comment that you're impressed w/my discipline. ha.

the only reason i'm going is b/c i ORIGINALLY thought the class was at 4:30, and i didn't look at the clock until 4:22, when i realised that i wouldn't make it on time...and got depressed and disappointed in myself. the regret made me understand that i actually DID want to go, and i was minorly thrilled when i examined the gym schedule and saw my hour-long "reprieve" (which is vanishing by the second). i made some iced coffee to get hyper, and prepared to go.

i soooo want to watch democratic convention coverage instead...

sigh. i'm going to change in to kicky clothing. amelie-freak, your set list is the atomic bomb. the rest of you? get political, there's a screen shot on my flog that y'all should see and think about.

july 28

weight: 137
bodyfat: ?

kcal: :)
vasa: :)

gym: bleh

write: :)
read: LOTS of Salon.com

last type of cheese consumed: hmm, none. all i ate was indian food today. weird.

i 'mell like: lavendar. strawberries. dove fresh deo.

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i'm blue.

i miss the right coast so much, it's manifesting as extreme fatigue. i know i returned home to rest, to reconnect, to revive...but now? i regret *ever* coming home. in march of 2003, i should've tried harder to stay instead of taking the path of least effort...how different my life would have been. how happy i would've felt to be bang in the middle of the energy and speed i crave.

when you miss something this much, it hurts. when you miss someone as well...you are misery incarnate.

my exalted, adored VAIO is on life support. it almost died yesterday, but today...today the patient awoke from a coma and almost seemed alive-- provided that i not move. any shift in position and the delicate position of the cursed power cord was threatened, and my laptop would be gone. despite this, i managed to eat, drink, and take care of other necessary things...but i spent most of the day frozen to daddy's recliner, furiously checking email and blog templates,

updating fotolog and catching up on things that i let slide last week...i still owe a few of you emails and phone calls. i know, i know. i am a disappointment as a friend and akka.

being online all day means i read a lot, all day. (even as i was getting chills from al sharpton's roof-raiser of a convention speech. my father would've loved it; after all, he's the man who taped jesse jackson's speech back in the 80s and then made me watch it until i could mimic it. daddy lowed him some oratory.)

what did i find? too much good stuff, which is what i named some slightly important part of my new blog aggregator. i had been using kinja sporadically, (that link shows you my "favourites", btw) but i wasn't thrilled w/it. i'd have twelve posts from Om Malik and then several more from each of my "closer" friends...but i'd get exhausted slogging through it and only "see" three blogs.

the whole reason i TRIED kinja was b/c the # of blogs i read daily has exploded, and i wanted to be efficient...somehow, just clicking my low-tech "links" worked better for me...but i haven't given up on telesis. a few blogs kept mentioning bloglines, and when i read a TON about it on kottke, i decided to try it. so far, it's better than kinja, though it was hardly intuitive when i first attempted to set it up. once i figured things out, it's lovely. we'll see if i keep it though. do any of you use bloglines? if so, what do YOU think? how are the rest of you accessing the blogs you love (aka my online empire ;) achtung: my bloglines "favourites" are not by any means complete...i just added the bookmarklet thing, and will be adding blogs daily, so if yours isn't there yet, keep your knickers from bunching, antsy-pants, it means nothing as nasty as "anna doesn't love, respect, reciprocate me".

okay, on to what i read today, that affected me (who made me anil fucking dash?):

Teresa, full of grace

"The pressure she faced has been building over a year that has garnered her a reputation as unpredictable, dangerous, batty, and, as she put it on Tuesday, "opinionated." Heinz Kerry has already shown that she is a broad with a set of brass balls. She has steadfastly refused to shut up, cursed at inappropriate moments, talked about abortion and Botox, voiced her frustrations with a Republican party of which she was a long-time member, pulled little Jack Edwards' thumb out of his mouth in front of cameras, rhapsodized about her heartbreakingly obvious love for her dead husband John Heinz, and been unable to control her habit of looking like a distracted housecat during her husband's stump speeches."

isn't that the most fantastic paragraph alive? i LOVE it. the rest of the article ain't bad either. suddenly i'm feeling a funny feeling in my tummy for teresa (miss kerry, if you're nasty)...could it be...respect? i'm batty too, damnit. i'm sick of the myth of "balanced" achievers. no one who ever accomplished anything DIDN'T have a fucking screw loose. go on wit yer bad self, miss terry. i support your right to be REAL, to live your life as an imperfect, fragile human. i not only support it, i demand and celebrate it. brava.

you want boobies? happy festivus.

single, dark, ugly and fat me wanted to have something...ANYTHING else replace the last post. since i diary only when it's dark, y'all get this. shameless?

yes.

but let's allow breast-obsessed-CallCenterRetard to choke on his envy-driven, unrequited, lust-adulterated bile while i trace his information (san jose city college, eh?). after all...the other person in this picture LIVES ccg's fantasies, daily-- no wonder he's so happy. dreams do come true, they can happen to you, if you don't treat women like garbage who exist to fill in a pornographic blank. S knows i'm no gold-digger, and his introductory remarks did not contain any of the following:

-cum
-tits
-whore

take a lesson, cur.

Abinesh: STFU.

UPDATE:
since
a few
of you
asked,
THIS is
the pic
that
he was
"responding"
to...

the majority of indian boys from third-world countries have issues with me. they tend to loathe me, basing their impressive amounts of rage and abusive hate on...nothing. it's always someone i've never met or seen, screaming invective and filth my way. i've been told several theories about why this transpires:

- they're intimidated
- they're bothered by my "untraditional" nature
- they are attracted to me
- they have dwarf penises.

(i favour the last explanation, but you all could've guessed that, right?)

this isn't something that i normally cared or thought about, except for when my mother was stupid enough to suggest that i marry a boy from "back home". (i'll become a bull dyke first, thanks...i mean...wait until you see what i get from such international assholes)

currently, mom isn't here to provide such pointless adivce, but i'm confronted by the "assholes" anyway-- i looked in my Friendster inbox, and found the following two messages. i've never received THIS sort of response via Fster...it's usually overwhelmingly positive. anyway, abinesh? since you're *such* an expert on them, i guess the title of this post is apposite. fuck you, drive through.

From: Abinesh
Date: July 27, 2004 2:38 PM
Subject: Nice Job

Message:

Guess.. u must have been a good cock sucker by
looking at ur mouth.. good! Thats a good job! and
its called the Blowjob!! nice job!

and *then* he embarassed himself FURTHER:

From: Abinesh
Date: July 27, 2004 2:41 PM
Subject: U r really a bitch!

Message:

behave like a woman asshole!! Ur mum wasted 9
months of period of her time carrying u in her
womb! get the hell out of the world and die! Go
to hell may u be in hell soon! Bitch! But u r
really ugly!! Oh wat an Unsightly bitch u r! Im a
guy from Singapore! well all ppl from Singapore
are like this.. we are great get it on ur fucking
head!!

.
.
.

eek. no wonder i didn't enjoy singapore in '89...

july 26

weight: 137
bodyfat: 22.8

kcal: :)
vasa: :)

gym: arms, incl. REALLY torturous triceps, abs.

write: :)
read: new york post, on the plane

last type of cheese consumed: the kind mexican restaurants use...queso blanco?

i 'mell like: sandalwood, rose, hair stuff.

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so

damned

tired.

got off the plane a few hours ago,
rushed home,
rushed even faster to the gym

(b/c it was closing in 25 mins),

worked out

(b/c i'm a no limit soldier...how many of YOU travel all day, fend off DVT in coach and THEN hit the gym at midnight-ish? yeah. that's what i fucking thought),

rushed home to shower,
ate dinner,
am forcing myself to write this.

i'm so spent, i can't get excited to write. but i'm not passing out asleep either. THAT kind of fatigue. what can i say? my luggage was heavy and i schlepped it further than i normally do (my belowed north face weekend bag does NOT have wheels). i think a large part of it is an emotional exhaustion vs anything physical; i didn't want to leave. THAT'S how lovely a time i had, and all day i've been composing this post in my head, turning phrases to do my mini-break justice...so that i could get to this impotent moment. meanwhile, a few hours ago when i was trapped in denver, i would've given hours off of my LIFE to have my laptop working, b/c i was seething w/eloquence and wit. gah.

so much to tell you, just about today and my adventures on the plane (sweetly presumptuous white guys? sweetly protective black guys? skeevy, stinky, sketchy russian mafia? oh yeah. all that and then some.)
but i can't do it. this is my worst sort of writing, the kind i eke out b/c i owe it to a few of you who want something to read before you start your day...b/c i owe it to me to be consistent and i haven't diaried since the 22nd. sigh. so sorry it's so tatti.

i miss the right coast fiercely, and i woke up there today. this all-consuming, wistful longing shall only increase w/each passing day. is everything better there? as far as i am concerned, right this nanosecond, YES. ah, the bliss of long distance relationships. : /

my only consolationS? you guys clicked more ads on my blogs than EVER before :). that's hot. i very much appreciate the fiscal lowe.

the other? after eating at some of the best restaurants i've EVER been to...i only gained a pound. or three. vatewer. it all went to my breasts, so go ME. ;)
.
.
.

i swear to you i can't make up shit this good; this is an ACTUAL EMAIL that i received tonight:

IndianMatrimonials.com Contact Message:
---------------------------------------------------------

FROM : acqua_di_gio@hotmail.com
TO : Your profile: "suitablegirl"

SUBJECT : hi

ATTACHED PHOTO: None

Hi your profile sounds interesting...well ill tell u more about me...im coming to the end of meds school in march...just finished placements at harvard and mayo clinic...planning to settle in cali after

i stay very active...currently part of a tennis club....love music, travelling....ice hockey..

be great to hear more about u....Currently I am in LA for a bit....let me know.if u are interested in a phone conversation if u like...

im happy to give u a ring....i swear u wont be dissappointed if u got to know me...have alot to offer...u wont be wasting your time...

my email is acqua_di_gio@hotmail.com...

cheers,
armani

july 22

weight: ?
bodyfat: ?

kcal: :)
vasa: :)

gym: away

write: :)
read:

last type of cheese consumed: whatever was in the amazing artichoke/SDT dip at dinner

i 'mell like: mango and mandarin. biosilk hair stuff.

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i'm exhausted. call center jerk asked, "uh, are you done crying yet?" actually, i am. but it took a few hours.

first, someone on my fotolog accused me of being the world's most evil bitch b/c i was insensitive to the victims of 9/11 (!). THEN, one of my favourite people called me out on yesterday's diary entry b/c i used an undefined pronoun that was confusing. fine. i'm an english minor, i should write better.

but that's not what made my mascara clump...it was this sense that someone i speak to DAILY, someone who--from the start--intuitively knew me better than some of my closest friends did ...didn't "get" me. and we all know that's the loneliest feeling ever. when you invest countless hours in an honest, delicate, risk-infused relationship w/someone, you take it for granted that they know you, that they understand how and why you tick. i was floored. maybe they were having a rough day. maybe i suck as a writer. i don't know. but this friend messaged me at an innoportune moment and i came undone.

so someone sweet took me to dinner at the only brewery i like. i had my favourite appetizer-- all carbs and cheese. fantastic. three glasses of raspberry wheat later, i was giggling and sweet. (this is crazy, y'all-- i HATE beer.)

what did i come home to? remember that silicon valley job at company X (which is NOT google) that i was soooo excited about? over-qualified for? ready to do? read on:

Hi Anna,

I received your voice message, but I was swamped with meetings yesterday.

I don't think your work experience and my open positions are enough of a fit, Anna. I understand what you are saying about transferrable skills, but under my current circumstances I need to have a sales team up and running very quickly, and that includes a working knowledge about wireless carriers organizations and consumer product selling skills.

Since the job will be home-based and a long way from corporate headquarters, the sales reps on the East Coast will need to be self-sufficient from the beginning.

Good luck in finding the right next thing for your career.

- Moron

i read this and had a saltwater explosion. shit rains in threes, doesn't it? i mean, DAMN. this woman was so difficult and so WRONG. it was just beyond unfair and i had HAD IT. the phone interview i had w/her was rough enough, but this? it was just WRONG. on so many levels.

i'd probably detail them if i were in a normal state and in a regular place, but i'm in neither. i'm away. and i just went to see "the bourne supremacy" at midnight, to salvage this whore-ENDOUS day. so i'm numb, but i no longer feel robbed. will you give me a night off and just believe me when i say that the silicon valley job story had WAY more layers that i don't have the strength to delve in to right herre? you will? thanks. you're the best.

oh, and bourne was sublime.

'night.

why do i fucking blog again?

for ANYONE who may be UNCLEAR on the concept, my last diary entry (the list of trash-talking that apparently made no sense to some of you) was aimed squarely at "callcenterguy", the commenter who has left pornographic filth on ALL of my blogs in the last few days. each of those sentences was a response to his insults. i could care less whether the rest of you want to fuck me or not. was this really not clear? unbelievable.

i don't know if you're using a reader to get my posts, and i am not writing for you if you do, no offense. i write this blog with the full expectation that you're looking at this actual page, and you can see the entire context (comments, flooble chatterbox, pictures) of this microcosm. i had no idea that my blog ceased to make sense just b/c of RSS. i use kinja and i still pay attention to comments; that's the thrilling part of blogging. interaction. feedback. dialogue. NO blogger dislikes comments. they're the whole point, sometimes.

if you want to know something people, just ASK. when have i EVER shied away from your legitimate questions?

between the nastiness here AND the negativity on fotolog...damn...i can't believe i spend time producing content and money putting it up, every month.

:(

july 21

weight: ?
bodyfat: ?

kcal: :)
vasa: :)

gym: away

write: :)
read:

last type of cheese consumed: romano, parmesan (reggiano), goat cheese (all at dinner)

i 'mell like: amazone by hermes

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for the record?

22% is solid for my height and age (which are 5'6 and 29.5, respectively).

when i'm 40, you and everyone whom you know will still want to fuck me.

you want to fuck me right now, that's why you masturbate at your job at Cisco in san jose, commenting on my blogs when you should be making sure Juniper doesn't gain anymore market share.

finally, if you knew anything about the 997, you'd know the answer to your own stupid question.

thanks for amusing me, now go back to stroking your dwarf penis. you are denied and dismissed.

.
.
.

new fotolog. go, if you like. :)

my laugh for the morning

oh darling deep...i lack the words...seriously. ;)

the rest of you? go here. amuse at will.

july 20

weight: 134
bodyfat: 22

kcal: :)
vasa: :)

gym: :)

write: :)
read:

last type of cheese consumed:

i 'mell like: chance by chanel

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watching "Amelie" on a 50-inch Sony plasma TV is like being reborn. :) did i mention the surround sound?

suffice to say, i am "away" and doing very well:

1) i am getting smothered with lowe

2) i had nachos for dinner

3) i got shorts for $.99 at old navy (coming to /closet, soon!)

4) i had nachos and a salted margarita for dinner

5) i tried my first McFlurry...couldn't decide between oreo and m+m...so i got half of each. YUM.

yeah, it's been lovely. :) :) :)

oh, and to those of you who wonder why i continue to "put myself out there" when retards like "call center guy" describe their wildest and most impossible dreams on my diary et al...read on, i got this in GMail, and have been swooning ever since:

anna,

I love reading your blogs and fotologs. They're really cool. I commented on HERstory a long time ago, and Im not sure if i mentioned this, but your website actually inspired me to start my own - yes you are my xanga muse. This was way back in Nov last year. And then I think Xanga just worked for me. So if you notice on my xanga - ive linked your fotolog and your Typepad, i hope you dont mind. My friends absolutely love reading your stuff.

Well , thanks again. Hope you are having a good week.

Take care n Keep in touch

TSM

okay, if that wouldn't make YOUR day, week, life? you're not human. :)

i'm not pretty unless i get to sleep until noon, assholes

aaaaaaaaaaack. i went to bed relatively "early" for me (3am), but to what end? i was awake at 7:30am. why? WHY?

BECAUSE.

mortgage brokers want my mom. and they call. incessantly. wasn't there some law passed against this? omg. i'm so miserable right now...when i don't get enough sleep AND you wake me up this early, i puke. SWEET.

besides hating on Centex and American Mortgage, i'll dish 5% of the blame on my fickle mother, who WANTED to refinance a few months ago. i'm sure she somehow invited this hoarde of excessively pushy mortgage morons to heap woe upon my head. i'm sure of it!

me= "we don't want a mortgage, please don't call, thank you." next one gets me blistering. and i'll make sure i remember to post the convo (best stenographer west of the mississippi, according to my boy joel.) mortgages. refinancing. yeah. whatever. mortgage THIS, bastards. gah.

july 18

weight: 134
bodyfat: 22

kcal: :)
vasa: :)

gym: rest (yesterday was h/q/c/ad/abd...ow)

write: :)
read: this. have YOU read it yet? well, why the fuck not?

last type of cheese consumed:

i 'mell like: coriander and bergamot, melon lipgloss

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i'm really tired...had a ton of errands to run today, and i hurriedly ran them after my mom irritated me to the point where i couldn't stand being in the house.

when she got home from church, i felt awful for her...the mercedes is having serious issues and if that isn't bad enough, she got REAR-ENDED by some white-trash, would-be marcia clark who tried to coerce her to sign something she whipped up on a piece of scratch paper that said, "i only see a small scratch on my bumper, no other damage." are you fucking KIDDING me?

the mercedes is a tank. a venerable S-class from the days when mercedes wasn't chrysler and engineers ruled the company. if my mom's body was pushed forward and then snapped back, she was hit very hard by the piece of shit chevy. who knows what damage that bitch caused. dumb whore. may you and the inhabitants of your double-wide, law-and-order-watching, toilet of a trailer all be rendered sterile so that you don't annoy petite, innocent indian moms in their laura ashley sundresses, who are driving home from church. gah!

and here's MY mom.

"oh, i don't know if i should call her insurance company. she looked like she wasn't very well-off...i think that's why she wanted me to stipulate about the scratch...oh my, what if this is my fault somehow...she said she thought i was moving, even though we were at red light..."

"did i SERIOUSLY come out of THAT???" i shrieked, pointing at her womb. "b/c you and i are SO not related. how do you let people treat you like this? and why are you so fucking compassionate? she rear-ended YOU. SHE is at fault. you are NOT this stupid. you are NOT one of these pindu indian moms who doesn't know how to balance a checkbook or drive on the freeway...what the FUCK? you are so lucky i wasn't there to rip her a new asshole to go w/her chutzpah!"

"what would that have accomplished, latha?"

"well, I FOR ONE would be happy. seriously ma...she hurt you, i can see that your back is affected...you're being so meek. stand the fuck up for yourself!"

"i don't know..."

"it was not your fault. and you are calling her insurance. quit taking the blame or responsibility for shit you didn't do. geez."

july 16

weight: 135
bodyfat: ?

kcal: :)
vasa: :)

gym: rest

write: :)
read: Pledged: The Secret Life of Sororities by Alexandra Robbins

last type of cheese consumed: CHEVRE

i 'mell like: lavendar and a bit of banana republic's W, oddly enough. i've had that tiny bottle for five years?

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i did nothing of consequence today...except make macaroni and cheese w/GOAT cheese. wow. talk about decadent. i once had something similar at dean and deluca in dc, and it sucked. my version was ridic. good. :)

i spent most of the day revamping blog templates and testing out my newly-discovered knowledge of HTML. which is fine. i want to capitalize on this new-found confidence w/geek shit before i :

a) lose interest...or
b) start believing GT that it's really like "crossing over to the dark side".

anyway.

i didn't hear back from silicon valley company X today (i sent my resume exactly a week ago), though i truly thought i would. am not thinking about this. i'd just irritate and stress myself out, b/c i'm finally REALLY excited about a job. think happy thoughts, anna...think...happy...

ah, yes.

*bliss*

last year, deep tried to get me to admit that the cayenne was something i'd crave, if not now, then at some distant time. not. i was overwhelmed with livid indignation when porsche had the unmitigated GALL to intro a...*shudder*...SUV. how dare they pollute that sacred bloodline and brand. gah.

i told deep that the 911 was the only daily driver for ME. then deep got dirty..."what about your godson?"...damn. why you gotta go and play the baby card??? ah yes,

"his mother never lets me drive him anywhere unless she's with, so we wouldn't be in a 2+2 anyway."

this stumped the my D for all of a nanosecond. his eyes narrowed in triumph,

"but what about when YOU have kids?"

"they can ride w/their father until they're old enough for the passenger seat."

"you'll drive a 911 when you have a kid?"

"hell yes. i'll bet it's safer than a P.O.S. american SUV."

"but what if you have a few kids...surely the cayenne would be optimal then."

this conversation continued until deep finally decided FOR me that i would drive the 911, and my nanny would follow me everywhere in the cayenne. nevermind the fact that i never planned on paying someone else to tend to my hallowed offspring. that boy is my undoing. he knew the visual of a porsche caravan was something i couldn't resist. i smiled and this meant i was done bickering with him. :)

well.

unbelievably, i managed to find the only other brown person who loves porsche more than deep (and me!). b/c of this proven and devout lowe, i'd occasionally feel sad for S...since one day, he'll have to drive some sedate german sedan while i get to burn Turbo Look II wheels w/the top down.

then i'd remind myself that:

a) he's MUCH better w/children than i am
b) let's face it, he owes me at this point b/c every pollywog is a MINIMUM of 21 fucking months w/o alcohol...oy
c) he's already HAD two porsches!
d) and that the reproductive successes would be happiest w/him.

oh, and THEN there's all that self-serving bullshit about how a happy mom is a fulfilled mom is a good mom...well, let me state this for the record: if i'm putting ceramic brakes to brutal and frequent use, i will be very happy and fulfilled. so yeah, the kids ride w/dad. he's better suited for that "are we there yet?" crap :)

but what's this? will daddy have a porsche AFTER all????

i do believe he WILL. that's an artist's rendering of the FOUR-DOOR porsche that's in the works. i can't believe this article discusses brand dilution-- i think a sedan is WAY more logical than a fucking TRUCK, but whatEVER. so there you go S darling...yours has four doors, mine is topless. and much prettier, thanks to oval headlights and sexier styling. all hail the 997. it gives me a funny feeling in my tummy. :)

other links that caught my chestnut eye?

this article from the nyt made me want to move to bangalore, b/c it sounds like such a hot place. some of the pubs remind them of london? wow. outsource me, baby.

my friend dinesh sent me this article, which announces that HOOTERS is opening in india. i'm just shaking my head at this...i don't think of most indian girls as being so breast-y. beyond that, who's going to work at this joint? i feel like they'll HAVE to replace those horrid orange shorts. with what, though? churidhar pants???

hey S, here's MY get-rich plan, let's open up a cafe where all the waitresses look like virgin sita-savitris in white saris and salwars. if you pay extra, you get to douse them in water and watch them shiver. so it's kind of like a strip club...except it's bollywoodesque. debauchery and purity...what a heady cocktail THAT is...i think my inner sorority girl is remembering too many wet-t-shirt contests...that i never entered. don't worry, no one missed me OR my perky chest. ;)

the only bush i trust is my own. and i'm brazilian.

out-fucking-RAGE in west virginia.

"Police took Nicole and Jeff Rank away in handcuffs from the event, which was billed as a presidential appearance, not a campaign rally. They were wearing T-shirts that read, “Love America, Hate Bush.”

Spectators who wore pro-Bush T-shirts and Bush-Cheney campaign buttons were allowed to stay.

“We weren’t doing anything wrong,” said Jeff Rank. The couple, who said they had tickets just like everybody else, said they simply stood around the Capitol steps with the rest of the spectators.

“We sang the national anthem,” Rank said."

i'm so proud of our government; they've got their priorities STRAIGHT. harassing some dolphin-lover and his wife? wow. i loathe the occupant of 1600 pennyslvania for many reasons, but this unprecedented assault on american values like free speech makes me livid.

ennis emailed me about this bullshit, and i thank him for that. good looking out, kid.

the red-headed stepchild of my online empire gets a makeover.

dear little nik,

thank you for your recent feedback regarding shitty weblog colour palettes. /closet has been modified accordingly, and we look forward to NOT hurting your eyes in the near future. we also anticipate a *brand new post*, coming soon to that same weblog. there would've been one last night, but we were all tapped out from the bloodletting over at HERstory. sorry.

in any case, here at anna's online empire, we take whingeing, complaining and suggesting very seriously, and we will waste hours trying to make you happy. if we like you, that is.

surf on,

anna ;)

july 15

weight: ?
bodyfat: ?

kcal: :)
vasa: :)

gym: KICKBOXING!

write: :)
read: "who moved my cheese?" in 40 minutes.

last type of cheese consumed: string.

i 'mell like: chanel 22. and shiraz, probably.

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day commenced with much promise. i actually filed for something i've been putting off for six months. so go me.

i went to the gym and suffered.

i went to borders and edified.

now? not feeling so well. red, red wine, ya din' make me feel sooo fine, even if you are the key to unlocking very long, painful posts.

i'm going to bed. with UB40 stuck in me head.

the platypi! the shoes! oh yes...it was wednesday and THAT means...

...is it true? did i resurrect an erstwhile flog TRADITION? nooooo. wait, maybe? ah, you'll just have to go and see. six new captioned pictures there mean no diary entry for you here. go. read. be sated.

july 13

weight: 135
bodyfat: 21

kcal: :)
vasa: :)

gym: KICKBOXING, back and shoulders.

write: :)
read: chapter 25 of "the purpose driven life". my mom insists that i read this.

last type of cheese consumed: string.

i 'mell like: lavender baby oil and clean.

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yes, boo-boo, i did go to my kickboxing class today. and yes, i am sore. i was throwing punches like someone deserved it. when my instructor commented, "wow, your right hook looks vicious today!" i told her, "i'm aiming at someone i can't stand." and then i smiled sweetly at her. perky whore. i should've said, "that's b/c i'm pretending my punching bag is YOU, you dumb twat." i hate her. she's the worst instructor ever. she's arbitrary and capricious. she doesn't play fair. in short, she reminds me of every PE teacher i suffered under.

i almost didn't use this to my advantage; i preferred instead to avoid her like ebola, but that meant less cardio for me and one less opportunity to be a vicious banshee for an hour. so enter our happy solution: i pretend SHE'S my opponent. my old martial arts teacher would be proud. i can execute ten side-kicks with my right leg w/o touching down, something i could never do when i taped my hands and bruised my legs on concrete-like punching bags. (yes, i favour my right when kicking, my left when punching).

what's hilarious is watching other, lesser mortals try and do this when we have to kick at our opponent 25x w/o stopping. perhaps i got my revenge after all; b/c i started doing this anomalously impressive little thing, she had to keep interrupting herself, and she was getting sooo exasperated..."no, you don't have to do that. you can put your foot down and do it slowly, one kick at a time. that's for advanced students." and then, "wait, wait, wait...i didn't say you had to kick like that. you're not...no...stop. please, the point of this isn't to lose your balance and fall. okay, go. no, not like that. you GUYS!" :D did iiiiii do thaaaaat?

she fucked w/me during the 15 mins that are devoted to abs though. she KNOWS i hate doing push-ups period, push-ups on the stability ball are like a minor sort of hell. guess who was doing fifty push-ups off a stability ball? hateful twat. weren't we supposed to do ABS? unless she's going to argue that it was sort of like doing "the plank", it wasn't anything close to an ab exercise. just b/c you use the fucking ball, it DOESN'T MAKE IT AN AB EXERCISE. yeah, i'm still vexed. ;) i'll quit boring you though. oy, i'm turning in to a dumb jock. all i care about is my body fat, my lean mass, my protein intake and being at the gym. when i start taking it in the ass (steroids, that is...fucking pervs) then this has all gone too far.

july 12

weight: 135
bodyfat: 21

kcal: :)
vasa: :)

gym: quads, hams, adductors, abductors and calves.

write: :)
read: Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting Afro-Asian Connections and the Myth of Cultural Purity by Vijay Prashad

last type of cheese consumed: good, greek FETA

i 'mell like: lavender baby oil and eucalyptus

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i had the world's funniest AIM convo w/one high-level Net-SAP (read: net-crap) official whom i adore...within it, i exhorted him to reclaim his right to masturbate, b/c it's being infringed upon by one selfish deluded bitch. that is all you need to know. :D that should also explain the current AIM away msg that i'm rocking... ;)

i gained five pounds b/c i started taking this new medicine about 8 weeks ago...yesterday i started taking something that usually causes weight loss as a side effect. so this should be fun. whatever. i am now in that happy space where i know that someone vants me, and i can get away w/being rotund thanks to it. and oh yes andrea, it's rotund. i went from vertical lines on my abs five months ago to...a very happy belly that is on its way to buddha-dom at this carb-and-love-laden rate. ;) i kid. i don't give a shit what the scales say. i just don't want to lose any lean mass, and i want to be healthy. and that means kickboxing tomorrow.

ack, cardio. i'm very sore, and i really want to lie down...so i'm going to go. there's yesterday's flog to comment on, and i answered a bunch of questions in the next post, so worry not, you'll be entertained. :) 'night.

anna answers your questions. yay.

1) Have you heard of Heartless Bitches International?

heard of it...i was admitted as a member in june of 2001. haven't thought about this in years. thanks for reminding me. i rule. :) who knew i was thinking of my BLOG over two years before it hatched??? finding this blew my mind today...

2) How do you make photo collages?

well, little nik...first you forgive chechi for taking FOREVER to get back to you ;)

then you use the ghetto-assed "Paint" program that is on every computer ever. seriously, i just shrink things with a (ctrl-W), and then i copy and paste them on a "new", blank space. i add three more similarly shmall photos and i'm done. no, i do not use photoshop. though joel was the greatest sweetheart EVER b/c he gave it to me as a gift, i never used it. it was not intuitive, the way other programs are to me. i have no clue how to use it.

this is significant and hilarious, if you think about it. i'm forever getting accused of photoshopping shit. sigh. no. i really do look like that, i don't alter the pics at all. anyway, hope that helps a little, nikitha. if not, bug me via AIM and i'll see what little i can impart. ;)

3) are you engaged or not?!

why do you wanna know? ;) as ranjana says so well, i have a PHAT pet rock.

i often shock people when i tell them that the blogs, flogs and dogs actually reveal a whopping 20% of my life. it's true, and those who star in it are very aware of that shocking fact. i keep 80% away from you b/c i can and should. it's my life, and i don't live it for your entertainment or edification. i don't mind sharing part of it though, b/c i've already seen how it's helped people (yes. it actually has.) anyway, the "public" part is the part that you guys get to ogle and mock and scorn. or if you're nice, the part you get to comment on and feel inspired by... :)

4) Why do you spell everything wrong?

do i? perhaps it's YOU who spells everything incorrectly. it's all perspective, innit? ;)

5) are you mentally ill? i mean, why else would you put yourself out there like that?

no more or less mentally ill than your average neurotic, anxious, worried, compulsive, germphobic insomniac ;) are you mentally ill? what does that even mean? who gets to decide at which point on the continuum that is mental health, that someone is "ill"? when that person can't fxn normally in day-to-day situations? if we are to agree on THAT point, then no, i am not. i get by just fine. i can't say that i care much for your tone or your insensitivity, though. ah, i KNEW i was forgetting something on that laundry list that commenced this para...sensitive. ;)

why do i put myself out there? b/c it's changed my life to do so...and once in a very rare while, it's changed another's. it's taught people how to act when their friend's father dies (don't just avoid mentioning it, just b/c you're uncomfortable or worried about your choice of words). it's reminded people that you can meet and have the greatest love of your life, lose it, and still survive to love again (and again, in my fortunate case). and it's given succor to countless aging brown females who are single and the focus of their irate family's angry gaze...by providing each and every single one of those somen w/someone else to point to and warn their parents with, "LOOK! now THAT girl is old...you should be GRATEFUL i'm not Anna..." ;)

6) Do you have a job??? Or is this all you do?

i quit my soul-suck of a torture-gig at a major american bank last december. i do not regret this at all. i am currently looking for a suitable job at a suitable company. until then, i'm MINDFUL that this is probably the only time in my life that i'll be cared for, fed and warmed under another's roof while i do nothing but write...the next time i get to take a break from employment, there will be a miniature version of me (or the poor bastard who knocks me up) hanging from some part of me...and i've read that such accessories make typing a BITCH. so this is a very special moment for me. thanks for insulting it, you dumb fuck. ;)

7) Why do you like new york so much?

the question, my anonymous pussy of a friend, is not why i like it so much. indeed, the question really is: why don't you innately get it? everyone else who's cool does. ah wait, they're native new yorkers. ;)

and if you're from chicago, don't even start with me. the greatest writer your flyover-ness has ever known, one mimosa aka "amelie-freak" brought this very question up with me...and i gave her the unwanted response she has come to expect from those of us who live on the great paranthesis of amreeka;

"omg, mimosa...if it isn't new york or san francisco, it's a fucking wasteland. the coasts are natural, welcome homes. i would get hives if i lived in the middle of them for any extended period of time."

graciously, she has decided to continue tolerating me, despite the fact that i am terrified of the vast middle of america (and its horrific accents). good thing my ankur doesn't read my blogs, or he surely would not.

sigh.

and before i get tarred and feathered by you freaks who think that living in a fantastic oasis of a city which unfortunately sits in the middle of fields of...nothing...is a good idea, you should know that the CEO of my heart (Alum: University of Wis-cAHN-sin) was born in your tatti city, and it's where most of his family still lives. so karmic revenge is complete. gah. at least he was in the safe normalcy of NYC and Devon, PA by the time he was walking. so HA. it didn't influence him. :D

8) If you are malayalee and christian, why are you vegetarian?

b/c my father was SIX he asked my paternal grandparents why they were fasting during lent...

appachan: b/c it's what you are supposed to do, to prepare for easter.

daddy: so it's a good thing to fast from meat?

appachan: yes. a very good thing. it makes G-d happy when we make sacrifices like fasting.

daddy: but then wouldn't it make G-d happier if we did it ALL year? if it's a good thing, then G-d would probably like that more...

appachan: *stumped*

daddy: well, appa?

appachan: listen kochu...YOU can fast all year if you want to, but come easter, *I'M* eating beef.

and my father gave up meat, on a permanent sort of lent. and G-d was pleased. and it was good. then, when he decided to get married, he found a woman who had gotten thrashed weekly during childhood, for letting the chickens run away right before they were supposed to get slaughtered. and a vegetarian household that was sooo strict, snooty namboodiri brahmins deemed it pollution-free was forged. during her pregnancy, my mom consumed nothing but green grapes and strawberry ice cream (it was all she could keep down). so this Anna you peer at curiously was created and fueled (from moment one!) by VEGETARIAN shtuff. :) THAT is why we're veg AND jacobite. next?

9) when are you coming to bangalore?

good question. better question: when am i going to kerala? it's been FIFTEEN YEARS.

questions are asked frequently

i'm thinking about doing a "Q+A" on HERstory; i haven't done one in forever. i get way more email than i ever thought i would, and i don't want people to think i'm some vain, puffed-up twat who's too good to write back or at least post answers to their (mostly) valid questions...so i'm probably overdue.

i cringe when i think of the emails i never got to answer...if you sent one of them, please know that i feel AWFUL and that it's not me intentionally choosing to ignore you b/c i hate you or something.

sigh. :|

anyway, here are a FEW that i'm pondering:

1) Have you heard of Heartless Bitches International?

2) How do you make photo collages?

3) are you engaged or not?!

4) Why do you spell everything wrong?

5) are you mentally ill? i mean, why else would you put yourself out there like that?

6) Do you have a job??? Or is this all you do?

7) Why do you like new york so much?

8) If you are malayalee and christian, why are you vegetarian?

9) when are you coming to bangalore?

...there are quite a few others, but we'll see how many i get to. if you have a burning question that you've been meaning to ask, feel free. i'll probably answer it tonight. if i like it. and you. ;)

july 11

weight: 134
bodyfat: 22

kcal: :)
vasa: :)

gym: rest (arms yesterday, w/extra triceps)

write: :)
read: HTML in a flash. i shit you not.

last type of cheese consumed: string

i 'mell like: lavender baby oil, KMS hair conditioner (just washed it) and jasmine.

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why so happy? why, b/c the FLOG is a year old!!! can you believe it? insane! before i had a blog, or two, or three, before i knew all of you, i had a little fotolog. :) there are SIX NEW pictures up, and the BEST part is, they have RIDICULOUSLY long captions, just the way you like them. the best caption is here, where you can read my "matrimonial ad". ;) ah, just go. you know you'll love it...i wouldn't have 110,000 hits if you didn't. :)

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i'm all "writed" out from captioning. can i get away with making you a random list of things you've missed since i've been "offline" for a few days? no? too bad. ;) here goes:

1) i had lunch on thursday at google, w/a googler. the most signif aspect of this: i was ON-TIME. first time ever! i'm SERIOUS. this is *huge*.

2) the googleplex is where smart people go when they die.

3) the food at google is RIDIC.

4) having said that, i think the fontina on my potato/herb pizzetta made me a little queasy.

5) i retract the previous remark. i adore google. they (and their chef) can do no wrong. it is obviously my inferior gastro-intestinal system, and not any fault of the big G's.

6) yes, i AM this loyal, if i love someone or something very much. :)

6a) the googler encouraged me to apply for a job at google that asked for an english major AND knowledge of HTML.

6b) i looked forlorn, but then got vexed, "what english major knows fucking html? only google asks for such impossibilities!"

6c) the googler replied, "you know html. you wouldn't be able to monkey w/your blogs so much if you didn't. trust me."

6d) i respectfully disagreed w/the googler, but didn't do a convincing job, b/c my mouth was full of the most luscious apricot tart EVER.

6e) after leaving heaven, er, the googleplex, i went to SF via 280 and ended up near very-beloved pac bell park. there was a new Borders across from it. sleekest, prettiest borders EVER. i went in. i speed-read a few books that are pointless, bridget jones-esque self-help titles. then, i ventured over to the ONLY section of a bookstore i've NEVER dared visit...

6f) ...computer books.

6g) i didn't even know how to find what i was looking for. i didn't understand why "html" books weren't in the same area as MS Access and MS Office. then i let my brain click and whir unwillingly to life, and i realised that those are programs or something and html was a language. or something.

6h) i found another area of books. all on networks. still no html.

6i) finally, shelved before perl and java, html.

6j) i picked up HTML "in a flash".

6k) i held my breath, though at the time i didn't know that i did.

6l) i gasped (and exhaled) when i flipped through the first 20 pages and realised, "my G-D! he was right!! i DO know html!!!"

6m) i felt like a PIMP!

6n) no, i felt like a GEEK!! which is better :)

6o) i...(sit down for this one)...purchased my *first* computer book.

6p) i crossed over to the dark side. ;)

how many have you killed, you perverted bastards?

july 6

weight: 135
bodyfat: 22

kcal: :)
vasa: :)

gym: 30 mins on the elliptical

write: :)
read:

last type of cheese consumed: string

i 'mell like: lavender body butter, night blooming jasmine

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i don't feel like writing (and i know you won't care, b/c you don't feel like commenting!), so i'm ganking this from andrea. i must say that for some of the questions (fave foods etc) i could've written 3x as many items. anyway, edify and enjoy. soon you will know where to order my birthday cakes from-- and if you know what's good for you, you will get yours from there, too.

:)

THREE THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO ME:
1. truth
2. justice
3. the people i love, whether they are blood or not (most often latter), IRL or virtual...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THREE THINGS THAT ARE NOT IMPORTANT TO ME:
1. how much something costs
2. where someone works
3. anonymous comment-leavers
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THREE PLACES I WOULD LIKE TO VISIT:
1. kashmir
2. paris
3. tahiti
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THREE WEBSITES I VISIT DAILY:
1. GMail
2. Fster
3. Fotolog/Typepad (where i host this blog)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THREE PARTS OF MY HERITAGE:
1. indian-malayalee-orthodox
2. indian-malayalee-hindu (dad's side, rel. recently...rel. to 2 millenia)
3. sephardic jewish (i have to reach back 2000 years...didn't want to be boring)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THREE THINGS I LIKE ABOUT MY BODY:
1. legs
2. eyes
3. hair/lips (tie)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THREE THINGS I DON'T LIKE ABOUT MY BODY:
1. a lack of symmetry
2. a lack of ab definition
3. any hair that is not an eyelash/eyebrow or on my scalp
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
1. i don't have a desk.
2: but if i did, it would be a glass of water
3: and things in water (fish, flowers)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:
1: watching conan
2: eating a mango my mom cut
3: shivering my leg b/c i can't sit still, ever
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
1: host SNL
2: get published
3: be someone's mommy :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
1: speak publicly, in front of 1000s, sans prep or notes
2: look good in pictures, even if i have a 101 degree fever
3: get my way at restaurants, hotels, car dealers...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
1: charismatic/sucks the air out of most rooms and amphitheaters
2: glittery
3: disordered
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO:
1: touch or cook meat (i puke)
2: tolerate pain/needles (i faint)
3: swim (i...um, drown)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
1: the pixies
2: marketplace, on NPR
3: Puccini's Gianni Schicchi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
1: santa fe nachos, w/extra chipotle + atomic salsa
2: myore masala dosa/north indian chaat: pani puri et al
3: my traditional kahlua/mocha mousse/apricot layered birthday cake
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THREE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN:
1: how to swim
2: how to write, read and finally speak malayalam w/o sounding valley
3: how to make my own website. html? mt? wtf?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
1: Water, from the fridge door (i.e. TAP)
2: decaf cafe au laits
3: chocolate protein shakes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
1: late 70s spiderman the cartoon, sesame street
2: 80s smurfs, bugs bunny and tom and jerry
3: 80s-90s? 120 minutes, cosby, family ties

july 4

weight: 134
bodyfat: ?

kcal: :)
vasa: :)

gym: no, not today, but i should note that more kickboxing was done on july 2, and i've never been more sore in my entire life than these last two days...owwwwww

write: :)
read: da vinci code

last type of cheese consumed: um...what kind are on doritos?

i 'mell like: demeter's ginger ale

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happy birthday dear amreeka.

a bigger happy HALF birthday to anneke.

i am 29.5, y'all. dig. and thanks for all the fireworks. they were soooo sweet. ;) can you believe it? in mere months i'll be...thirty. WOW. my body fat shall be in the teens again, too. i'll be one of those people who was in better shape at 30 than they were at 18. i'll also be so old that (hopefully) aunties and uncles will leave me the fuck alone.
.
.
.
what did i do to celebrate the fourth? i'm as much a patriot as the next blogger-with-her-only-sibling-in-active-military-duty...but i didn't go to a fireworks show or barbecue or anything. i did, however, miss DC fiercely...and when i watched the festivities on the mall i missed it even more. lest you accuse me of not doing enough to be mindful of our nation's birthday, i cried when clay aiken sang "G-d bless the USA". and i fucking HATE clay aiken, so you know that was some sincere saltwater. freedom isn't free. whether or not i watch pyrotechnics, i'm aware of that sobering truth on a near-hourly basis.

despite the current retard-in-chief,
despite the war in iraq,
despite the gang-raping of the constitution and
despite the fact that she's not perfect...

this is the greatest country on earth. 'nuff respect and love.

july 1

weight: 135.
bodyfat: ?

kcal: :)
vasa: :)

gym: oh my LORD. *TWO* cardio classes

write: :)
read: "something borrowed" by emily griffin, the first 123 pgs

last type of cheese consumed: mozz

i 'mell like: lavender, mango+mandarin

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brand spanking new fotolog x2...yeah, as in DOUBLE the pictures b/c i played around with upload times. oh, and did i mention that they are all CAPTIONED? you're gasping in shock. no, no interminable "caption coming soon" bullshit. no impatience. no waiting. i wrote pithy tidbits for each of the dirrrty dozen, as i was posting them. now comment accordingly, b/c comments mean love, and i don't have SHIT planned for my half-birthday, better known to the rest of you as independence day.

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my body wants to impeach me after today. b/c we're about to change to a new gym class schedule, there are no handy-dandy flyers for me to consult these days (don't even ask...my gym appears to be quite lackadaisical)...that's why i innocently showed up at my kickboxing class an HOUR early. no worries though, i had a great workout...

lest you think i'm intelligent, let me disabuse you of that misconception...i THOUGHT i was in my KB class, an extra special kickboxing class, and though the instructor was different, i just told myself she was a sub. a sub who had us doing soccer drills (my fave!), step (wtf? had never done it before) and stability ball stuff. we did a few combinations and some fantastic roundhouses, but that was it. despite the meagerness of KB-like activity, i decided that what little we had was good enough for me, i rationalized that since it was a slightly "off" KB class taught by a sub, she probably got roped in to it at the last minute, and so she was incorporating shtuff from her usual class with us b/c it was what she was comfy with...

june 30

weight: 135.5
bodyfat: 22.5

kcal: :)
vasa: :)

gym: REST

write: go look at HERstory! :)
read: tbd

last type of cheese consumed: FIVE cheeses on my pizza at lunch

i 'mell like: cool citrus basil (think mandarin), faint white musk

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something exciting this way comes...i checked my now-practically-defunct AOL account and there was this shocking email from a girl who wants to interview me, for an article she's doing on SA bloggers. since i have fallopian tubes, i'm an EXTRA special SA blogger. if you don't know what SA means, it's south asian, btw. yeesh, keep up already...

so i write her back, leave her my AIM SN, and she contacted me a few hours ago-- very fun girl. i liked. anyone who gets me to quote janet jackson's "nasty" by my second sentence is a wee bit o' magic, let me tell ya ;) when i asked her why the hell she AOL'd me, she snarkily pointed out that THAT is what happens if you follow the "email me" link from my blogs. um, hello...MAJOR fucking malfunction. we all know that anna has GMail. and she even has a pacific GMail account just for blogs and flogs, via "suitablegirl". so i've bugged typepad to see what on earth i didn't do that i thought i did, b/c i could've swore i gleefully changed the AOL to the G...anyway. i'm confusing and irritating myself, so we'll cease w/that...

i'm sorry y'all, but all my GOOD writing went to the real blog today/tonight...so this is going to be ASS. leave now. i'm serious. i'm giddy that someone is vanting me to talk about my blogs, flogs and dogs and i'm tired b/c it's four in the fucking morning. that's all i have to say right now. oh, and i'm sore b/c i've been brutal w/myself at the gym this week...that reminds me, i have kickboxing class tomorrow. good thing you helped me remember.

now you go remember to sign/pin my guestmap (lower right), click an ad if you so desire, and we'll be all square w/our to-do lists. ;)

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CONFIDENTIAL TO M.R.: you are forever sending me playlists...you even burned me a CD. if i had access to the 300-some discs i left in nyc, i'd burn the following 2-disc set for you:

:::songs to soothe an angry heart:::

if it isn't love- new edition
lovefool- cardigans
here's where the story ends- sundays
front row- alanis
cowboys and angels- george michael

i still haven't found what i'm looking for- U2
closedown- the cure
everyday is like sunday- mozz
fake plastic trees- radiohead

"guess i'll see you next lifetime"- erykah badu
three strange days- school of fish
song of the siren- this mortal coil
obscurity knocks- trashcan sinatras
this is how it feels- inspiral carpets

say something- james
Only love can break your heart- St Etienne
i wanna be adored- stone roses
so hard- pet shop boys
the only one i know- charlatans uk

set adrift on memory bliss- pm dawn
ladykiller- lush
aisha- khaled
dancing with tears in my eyes- ultravox
phoenix of my heart- xymox

tainted love- softcell
kiss them for me- siouxsie sioux and the banshees
i love you goodbye- thomas dolby
king of pain- police
don't you want me- human league

"i want you back" jackson 5
ladyfingers- luscious jackson
wave of mutilation- pixies
last night i dreamt that somebody loved me- The Smiths