A N N A J O H N ' S D I A R Y

Ess Emm MEETUP...liveblogged!

first in attendance and in my heart- brimful

second to show- "ads", who was actually two mins early, thus confirming for me that she CAN'T POSSIBLY be indian ;)

BTW- ads took bart to the powell st station and then WALKED here (to north beach) and was STILL early.  we have no excuse next to such an example.

third- anand and vinod, who sweetly asked if we'd mind if they joined us...and i rewarded such courtesy with a guffawed, "uh, it's a MEETUP." ;)

OMG, OM MALIK IS HERE!  you are all suitably jealous.

om thinks my writing is way better than two years ago.  "less angsty", "more structure".  w00t!  :D

wow, i'm not the only one who's had "issues" with infamous elderly indian people who work in "media".

om does not like SM's RSS w/comments and apparently, the "without" option doesn't work.

everyone is taking pictures of everyone else.

re: dirt oh, abhi...  :D

saheli is here!

the iPod shuffle IS awesome, thank you.

panini all around!

"MIA is so over..."

podcasting is SO over. ;)

BlogHerCon...and more BlogHerCon. 

bye vinod!  have a safe trip to ny.  :)

om's shuffle is stocked with brown music.  ONLY brown music.

it went from almost ALL GUYS to all girls.

deepa didn't show.  :(

i overheard brimful and saheli talking about something burning in berkeley and i freaked b/c i was scared they were discussing VIK'S annnnnnd...apparently VIK's now SUCKS.  meh.

i didn't see "bride and prejudice" and that is apparently okay.

saheli can bring ANYTHING back to a physicist or mathematician.  ANYTHING.

lo, bliss, i know thee

o
m
g

i'm at BlogHer and i wish this would go on for days.  yowza.  :)

p.s. chai is sitting next to me on the floor and we're four feet from dooce.  how's that envy taste?  ;)

I rock the mic, they say I'm not lady like

GOP Mallu : yo

GOP Mallu  signed off at 10:51:50 PM.

GOP Mallu  signed on at 10:10:50 AM. 

politicaldesi: you can't play with my yo-yo

GOP Mallu : oh my..i yo'd you by mistake :-)

politicaldesi: indeed

politicaldesi: anil is a doll, btw

politicaldesi: love him

GOP Mallu : cool

GOP Mallu : i'll be hearing all about your time together this weekend

politicaldesi: yayyyy

politicaldesi: tell him i'm boring

politicaldesi: and that i want to do the same thing again and again and again

politicaldesi: i.e.

politicaldesi: mysore dosa in georgetown

politicaldesi: and then watermelon martinis and kir royales at blue gin

politicaldesi: awesome

july 26

what are the odds?  i ran in to JT while crossing "Ts" and dotting an "I" at New York Washington Sports Club.  i thought it a good omen and i said as much, to the bewildered membership coordinator.  apparently, JT works out there nearly every weekday.  how lucky am i? FINALLY!  someone at the gym whom i actually know.  i've never had a workout buddy before.

oh yeah, DC area malayalee vomens...we're doing HH when i get back next week.  and THIS time, it'll be gallery place/chinablock or the convention center vs adams morgan/tryst.  :D

:+:

as if you assumed otherwise, but just in case you had, i'll reveal the predictable and obvious:

it's
1:30am
and
i
haven't
packed
yet.

w00t me!

24 hours from now, i'll be wading through the steaming masses in CALIFORNIA, yearning for my luggage!  i can't believe i'm going to go to sleep, go to work, make a deadline, rush home and maybe hit the gym before colliding with rush hour traffic on my way to my 7pm flight.  insanity, thy name is wednesday.

:+:

if the gilmore girls were on EVERY night during prime time, i'd do an hour of cardio a day.  tonight i watched rory lose the chilton student and the next thing i knew, it was minute 45.  yowza.

july 25

annnnnd...july 25 was the day where nothing i did went right or was good enough.  at work, i grew frustrated b/c i was massively confused by what i'm trying desperately to get done before my flight on wednesday...i felt seriously lame for a few hours, until i was reminded that it's only my fourth day and that NO ONE besides unreasonable me expects me to grok it all...

...and on HERstory, a comment thread turned interesting but ultimately problematic for me, as non-profits became the topic of the day.  i was taken aback by two comments left AFTER i thought i had clarified things (it was never my intention to start an entire convo about that which i clarified).  then, a well-meaning friend whom i know IRL ripped people a new one b/c they are sweetly protective of me and thought that i was getting disrespected.  the worst part of this is not the fact that said friend then proceeded to reveal areas of the "80"/my private life(!)
OR
that i didn't notice this until a third friend pointed it out
BUT
how it affected my perception of the situation. for better or worse, i couldn't shake my friend's take on the situation.  in the end, i did feel talked down to a bit, vaguely insulted, patronized...you get the picture. 

well, i've managed to come full-circle.  a few minutes ago on SM i apparently hurt someone's feelings.  fan-fucking-tastic.  they system DOES NOT work and i am going to bed before i muck up anything else.  today, i am not a good blogger and that ouches.

so much for being proud of interval training and torture abs at the gym...

>:{

july 24

bored? read this post on HERstory that is bringing the meany-pantsies out from the rocks they reside under. i'm not upset though.  they're out-commented by the sweet, good, kind, understanding people 15-1...

sigh.

okay, fine.  tired or not...

today i:

- attended church, where my feisty orthodox priest called out them protestants ;)

- shopped at whole foods, where i tried high-protein granola + vanilla yogurt for the first time.  i actually bought some-- i never do that no matter how yummy the samples.

- ate boursin cheese with the fresh sourdough from aforementioned...

- almost tried vegetarian sushi roll things.  totally weaseled out. 

- passed out into a carb coma for three hours.  couldn't believe how tired i felt AFTER.

- deleted a piece of shit who kept posting some poor girl's cell # on SM

- decided that all four fantanas are not cute.

- tried to update my fotolog:

(that's blogger kingsley, from saturday when i met him for the first time)

- freaked out slightly that i haven't packed for my wednesday flight yet.

- freaked out even more b/c i'm only going to get six hours of sleep... :)

:+:

to the only sibling i have, the only person who has my dad's DNA besides me, the only girl who has me wrapped 'round her pinky finger--

happy birthday, akiko.

kindly note the man's profession, y'all-- [much thanks, NG]

From: Bhaskar T <---------@gmail.com>

To: suitablegirl@gmail.com

Date: Jul 23, 2005 7:07 AM

Subject: I happen to see your blog- Bhaskar, India

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    Hello

 

   I happen to see your blog on internet,
   and it was fun going through all the
   links and pages.

 
   Wishing you good luck,

 

    Bhaskar
    Researcher on Overseas Indians

july 20

thanks to all the sweetness sent my way, i had a FANTASTIC first day (though it almost launched with a rather inauspicious start...think alarm clock clusterfcuk).

THANK YOU! :)

your first day is bound to go well when people sincerely exclaim, "i'm so excited you're here!" and similar right after you get introduced or re-introduced.  i felt like i was stepping into a familiar, much-loved pair of jeans; the role was one i've played before and yes, it was a good fit.

i didn't get to apply any makeup or do anything spectacular with my hair (see: aforeblogged clusterfuck) and so i felt less than polished as i rushed out my front door.  at least i remembered to generously perfume with my lucky signature scent (whose name i shall never reveal).  the hair thing turned out to be an inspired non-choice; it was so damned hot, a chignon was the only merciful option. it's probably a good sign that i didn't even think of such shortcomings, i was so immersed in my day.  ah, staying in the moment/mindfulness.  once i master that, i shall rule the world (as opposed to having occasionally great stretches of a few hours).

at lunch, i went to may company where for once, the chanel woman noticed that i existed without me clearing my throat a dozen times or looking at her piteously.  i wasn't shocked when i learned that she was one of their national makeup artistes-- i'm sure the regular dept store wench would've ignored me.  THIS is why i buy all my shit at the boutique on maiden lane in SF, not that you asked.

i just meant to buy a powder, since i hadn't applied any and i was running low anyway...i ended up getting coaxed into a black leather chair for a total face.  my yeux/ojos/kanna have never looked better.  when i have $65 i'm totally springing for the limited edition eye shadow compact she used on me. it was inspired by a chinoiserie screen that graced coco chanel's rue cambon apt.  visually arresting, unbelievably gorgeous, it's like the pallu of a good sari.  it's also $$$$$$$$$$$.  sigh. 

july 19

whenever i have something important to do the next day, like a flight or starting a new job...i can't sleep.  figures.

yes.  my genius readers, you know that i've got a week before i jet blue to california, so it must be the latter.  which one of you called my life a roller coaster?  i can't remember.  no matter, it so is.  i started a DIFFERENT job a week ago and it ended up being so far from what i expected or anyone else expected, it was just an untenable situation.  after three days, i understood why such a "great opportunity" had not been filled.  blech.  here's the thing: you know it's trouble when you're six hours into your new gig and your supervisor has thanked you/said sorry for the tenth time.  "i can't believe you're still here!  did i say still?  oops!"  um, yeah.

the people i was working with were lovely, the situation wasn't.  it's unfortunate, b/c it paid more than i've ever made, but if we've learned one thing from my 25 hours of employment last week, it's that i have a price.

i'm excited about tomorrow.  this is the job i interviewed for ten days ago.  the interview didn't even feel like an interview, it went so well.  the people were so kind, the expectations were familiar and the location is phenomenal--it sits on TOP of a metro stop...i.e. you ascend metro's escalators and you make a beeline for the huge glass doors that are all of six feet away...sweeeeeet!

i'll be ascending those damned escalators in 6.5 hours!  sigh.  why can't i ever get any sleep?

:+:

i get to meet glenn's friend from ny on thursday, which is shaping up to be another massively significant day.  never mind that i've never met glenn...i'm beyond such trivialities at this point of my online existence. ;)

:+:

i kicked ass today.  i didn't get to go do something fun, like write at tryst, but i org'd my apt like i was martha stewart on blow.  i vacuumed.  thrice.  it's a good thing.

suddenly, i'm Queer?

someone fwd'd this call for papers to a listserv i'm on...the following paragraphs abducted my attention:

Queer South Asia
Love and Sexuality Beyond Conventions

Sexuality is not talked about openly in South Asia. Marriage and having a family are central for the construction of society. Accordingly all forms of sexuality which deviate from the norm face problems.  Remaining single, changing partners or being homosexual are not options for the "standard" South
Asian...

Following the controversy around the film "Fire" in 1998 a queer movement developed in India. It fights for equal legal rights and the acceptance of society for differing styles of living. "Queer" is used to describe all people who question the sexual norm. It thus encompasses not only homo- and bisexuals as well as transgender but also heterosexuals, who, for example, do not want to marry.

huh.  while i haven't ruled it out eventually, right now i'm nowhere near wedded bliss.  sometimes i wonder how i dare entertain such blasphemous notions, but the older i get, the less necessary the entire arrangement seems. ;)

in recent heart-to-heart convos with my mom, i've stated that i might not ever get married.  she's reacted admirably, with a restrained sort of support which almost masks her very reasonable disappointment. my mother loves me, so she'll be in my corner no matter what.  she's not the one who crawls up my ass about the whole subject...that's other members of my fam.

the truth is, i probably will get married in five years or so.  however, i'm so far away from that possibility that if you unreasonably, improbably and hypothetically put a gun to my head, i'd say "no, i'm not getting hitched".  i guess that means that if you put a gun to my head...i'm queer. 

wow.

well, paint me a rainbow and buy me some flannel shirts.  i'm a strange girl after all. :D

july 18

still swamped, but i got a LOT of things done today that i had no desire to accomplish.  so that's very good.

i'm tinkering with the blog template (duh, like you didn't already grasp that).  TypePad has a bunch of options that didn't exist back in 2003...i'd been meaning to play with them, never got around to it.  i might be changing the way diary works.  stay tuned.  ;)  as for this design, it's helpfully and obviously called "baby".  i don't give a shit.  i like ducks and i dig the colours.  for now, it'll do.  it's not flawless but that will just motivate me to finish the re-design.

oh yeah. ek other ting. i'm GOING HOME AGAIN.

California, here i come!  ah, almost a full week in ze golden e-state.  it doesn't feel like a week, though.  three days are all for BlogHer or SM-related activities.  that only leaves three days for friends, godchildren and family.  and dog.  sigh.  i haven't even gone home yet and i'm already sad about having to leave.  :)  that's so me. 

mindfulness.  the secret lies in mindfulness.  i know.  now you do, too.

which pic? what the-?

From: Random Desi <random2000@-------.com>

To: suitablegirl@gmail.com

Date: Jul 18, 2005 1:36 AM

Subject: Is that U?

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       Hi

 

       If U R the one in the pic, UR really cute
      
      -random desi

july 13

egg

saws

ted

:{

july 11

an enormous wave of gratitude to all of you who left comments wishing me well with my hugely stressful day.  i was continually surprised that so many of you were cheering me on-- i felt like "hank".  ;)

your positivity worked.  my mind is blown.  despite mini-disasters that ended up forcing a $20 cab ride (still got there four mins early though) among other stress-positions, i couldn't have done better than i did.  desidancer, i shattered every bone beneath my pelvis.  in other words, i have to be somewhere bright and early...TOMORROW.  that leaves less than five hours for sleep, my pretties...so i'm off.  i just wanted to thank you and tell you that you are all magic b/c my mom is amazed.  "rrrreally?  no!  REALLY?  i. am. SO. HAPPY!"  good news has that effect on her. ;) 

i adore you all.  seriously.  :)

i'm still kind of loopy-- i knew that i was "wanted", i just didn't know how much.  tomorrow?  TOMORROW?  holy crap...tomorrow....

:+:

though he gave me constant shit for "only" spending 3.5 hours with him, i want my fellow Californian/photography teacher/pixies-loving/david lynch-appreciatin' comrade to know that i had fun, and though i'll be hurting tomorrow, i'm glad i took the time to rendezvous at tryst and felix. 

if it were ANYONE else who were visiting...i would've sent my regrets, expecting that they'd understand that when we made plans at 2pm, my life was still mine to waste.  by 6pm, my life was utterly different.  if it were ANYONE else who were visiting, i would've sorry'd profusely and been responsible-girl by choosing to stay home.  you know, so i could...oh, maybe get some SLEEP before my even BIGGER day? 

but no. 

it was you.  and so i will not sleep (and you will not understand or admit how special you are to me).

:+:

i burn for all my friends and loved ones, often to my detriment.  to the angel who led me to the most beautiful basilica i've ever known:  may you get your mojo back.  STAT.

:+:
.
.

july 10

1. -note to self: do NOT stay up to watch horrific terror flicks which start out as innocent-humourous-clumsy-dating movies...once the chainsaw comes out, it's too late to turn away and you WILL shiver in a corner, rocking back and forth while hugging yourself in some futile attempt to self-comfort...yeah.  i got NO sleep.  whenever i closed my eyes, i saw blood or heard the words, "relationships may end but PLASTINATION is FOREVER"  as the scene where the guy tries to embalm  a LIVE WOMAN replayed on an endless loop.  *shudder*  what.  an.  awful.  movie.  and you wonder why i don't watch scary films.  *SHUDDER*
2. - when i FINALLY fell asleep at 8am, this meant that i slept through my alarm and thus missed church. grrrrreat.
3. - after feeling massively guilty at 10:30am for aforementioned bullet-point, i went back to bed and slept like the...plastinated.  i woke up at 4pm.  sigh.  annnnd...there goes the weekend.
4. - noticing the sunshine outside, dracul-anna decides to make the best of a sinful sunday.  i went to dean and deluca in gtown for my morning cappuccino.  at 5pm.
5. - i buy my groceries every sunday at whole foods.  i love whole foods.  it's overflowing with organic products, it's totally wegetarian-oriented and it's filled-to-the-rim with brim AND hard-to-find specialty foods.  i am now learning, however, that if there is something that you LIKE at WF, you should hoard it b/c it won't always be in stock.  i.e. if i go weekly, my fave all-natural, trans-fat-free, gourmet cheddar and bleu cheese "uppity cheetos" will be there every third week.  mmmm, yeah.  not so helpful.   since i'm addicted and all.  today's MIA groceries? 

• spicy black bean dip. 
• rosemary sourdough bread. 
• green mountain extra hot salsa (the only one that doesn't rot or taste like shit after two days).

meh.

:+:

oh yeah.  one final little detail-- i have a HUGE interview tomorrow morning and you guessed it, i can't sleep.  AWESOME.  sepia mutiny benefits, thank goodness for that small mercy.

but i don't have international on my phone plan

From: ^^^^ ^^^^^^ <----------@yahoo.com>

To: suitablegirl@gmail.com

Date: Jul 9, 2005 7:15 AM

Subject: hi

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hi how are u

i am h------ and working for top most MNC in india and
my contact no is 0944------- i am interested u
can i have the details of u

regards
H------

behold: the prettiest sari i've ever owned

newest fotolog, featuring fabulous fotos from my fantastic, last-minute trip to chicago for the engagement.  two sets are up, more coming.  if you're my flickr friend/family you get to see even MORE. as soon as i put them up, that is.  i'm getting to it, i'm getting to it...

july 5 (updated)

i'm driving through ohio, on my way home from chicago, and this is the second rest area i've stopped at...now that i've seen this at two locations, as demonstrated by several people from ages 4-60 i think it's not anomalous.

do these people NOT have shoes?

they're nonchalantly walking in to the food court/bathrooms barefoot, then walking back to their cars through parking lots filled with broken glass, motor oil and lord knows what. 

like this is normal. 

i'm appalled.   stop and ponder what's on the average public bathroom floor, and you might be, too.

what else is odd or different to me... i've never seen so many american cars.

("duh.  we're not that far from detroit.")  no lie, there isn't a european car to be found.  the nicest car i could see was a toyota.  mind. blowing. y'all.  look, i know what kind of a pretentious twat i sould like, aight?  just come to the garage under my building and you won't hate me for this little epiphany, not after you swim through the sea of M3, Z3, S4, X5, SLK and AMG.  do keep in mind that i'm loyal to my sick little honda civic, no matter what.  i'll fall over from shock the day *i* get to buy something german.

beyond that, it's ridiculously interesting to note who goes where once inside the rest stop; most people head to the main area that contains all the fast food, plus cinnabon and one ever-changing regional restaurant...then there are the people who head to starbucks.  the friend i'm road tripping with is the one who brought it to my attention: the obvious socio-economic divide that seems to exist right in front of starbucks, like some invisible wall.  the people who breezily stroll right in are visibly more affluent, polished, maintained.  they're even wearing shoes.

this is so weird to me (well, not the shoes part)-- starbucks stopped being a big deal in my life about ten years ago, when my tiny college town of Davis got one on F st.  i mean, come ON.  they had to be everywhere if they were showing up in our six block "downtown".

july 4

1. i'm physically destroyed.  worse than that, i'm emotionally exhausted, after a very painful lunch that should've been the most fun event of this four-day extravaganza.  the first time the "youths" get to go out and i end up in the most uncomfy social sitch, EVER.
2. indian stores malayalee grocery stores in the chicago suburbs blow my fucking mind (and mom's, too, via the magic of pcs to pcs)  curry leaf plants?  to BUY?  bizarre snacks whose names i can't pronounce but usually only see after a suitcase has been cracked open?  to BUY?  not one, but TWO different brands of kaduku manga pickle?  to BUY?  that sound you heard was my brain exploding.  i thought texas was kerala.  i'm stupid.
3. when i wear a stellar outfit and feel (and am told i look) absolutely beautiful, contrary to past experience, that's no guarantee of a good day.  wait, same thing happened saturday.  hmm, maybe my super powers are nullified when in chicago.  ugh.
4. gujuratis and other vaguely northern indians ("i'm from delhi!) couldn't be more different.
5. barbecues on rainy days?  no.  not good.
6. well-made/homemade guacamole is a revelation that can make my shyness at being at a party full of absolute strangers disappear b/c i'm too busy stuffing my face to notice that i don't know anyone.
7. illegal fireworks are illegal for a reason.  YOWZA those things were obscenely dramatic. 
8. ten-year old girls who've orbited you cautiously for several days, taking care to never get too close, WILL jump right in your arms in the dark when the first fireworks go off.  this will feel utterly natural.  the amusing part comes later, when they email you thrice the next day, commencing each missive with "dear didi!"
9. even if you think you were far from where the fireworks were lit, that hazy, thick cloud of smoke that you see floating by is already well-ensconced in your lungs.  i feel like i was in the smokiest, dive-iest bar EVER last night...my throat is sore and i can't stop coughing.  ugh.
10. oh yeah, happy birthday amreeka.  and happy HALF BIRTHDAY to ME!

no, i haven't been IN chicago yet

i'm with jaicy and wincy right now in des(i) plaines, ill.  we had dosa and paysam at udupi in schaumburg...while a tiny brat pierced jaicy's eardrums with his screeching.

now that he's shut up, you are SO JEALOUS of the fun we're having!!!   :D

june 30

hmmm.  what did i do today?

- i dealt with bullshit from THREE DIFFERENT MEN.
- i freaked out over the last student loan to be consolidated.
- i fretted over how money can ruin precious things.
- i met Deepa for dinner, to forget all that shit.
- we went to Amma Wegetarian Cuisine in Georgetown.
- we had rasam, dosa, lassis and gulab jamuns (her) plus paysam (me).
- we went to tryst until we were smoked out, so she could study.
- i made a giant ASS out of myself at trsyt.  literally.  i'm too tired to explain.
- we went to amsterdam for frites, to cheer me after the tryst humiliation.
- we ran in to LISA!  aka /afterthoughts26 aka...my COUSIN.
- we got interrogated by two queens who helped themselves to our frites.
- we watched the drama unfold on a blog we mutually sweat.
- i dropped her off at school, then came home.
- i wrote this post for SM, thanks to a comment left here.

oh yeah.  and one other teensy, wholly unexpected thing as of 11:45pm.

i found out i'm flying to CHICAGO tomorrow! 

for the first time since HOkana 2002, i'll be in the middle of america (joy).  i'm totally excited, though.  Jankhu's engagement, here i come!