A N N A J O H N ' S D I A R Y

october 30

HEY.  i'm typing this on vinod's pc...three different people tried valiantly to help me get online at greco earlier today, but their gateway was down.  so THAT is why there was no liveblogging.  :(  and that's tragic, b/c it was the most hilarious, successful, pr0ntastic meetup EVER.

never fear, i took notes...but they're on my laptop, which is not here. 

i'll try to blog it all tomorrow, when i next have net access. it's annoying to not be able to post freely-- reminds me of the early/mid-90s, when you got AOL in terms of HOURS, monthly.  like, TEN.  but this is wayyy more frustrating.

focus on the positive: it's been a crrrazy weekend, from lush @ union square to dhamaal to cheerleading to "wings" to market street arguments at 2am (not betwixt any of US) to meetup to orgy at three-wee's crib... ;)

hope you all had as much fun as THAT this wknd...

october 27

i'm here. as of 10:30pm, i'm home. bless Jet Blue and their SEVENTY-NINE DOLLAR FARES. that's the only reason why it's even possible for this starving faux-artist to be...home. except i'm not, b/c it's their home not my home and i'm welcome no mooooore. okay, it's not quite like that. my mother bought a nice new house, and that's where i will be staying these almost two weeks. she's a star. all moved in, b/c i was coming. all furniture arranged, b/c i was coming. DSL on the way tomorrow, if all goes well, b/c i was coming.

i couldn't stop laughing in the car, on the way home from the airport. (she looooooooved my hair, btw) she had made plans for me and my godson on saturday, w/o asking me, w/o realising that i would be drunk in SF with brimful + maisnon, in honor of halloween...i won't be a good babysitter, not with all THAT goin' on ;)

so, my last comment leaver, a.k.a livin' simple, i made a promise-- i told you i'd make it. can't wait to meet you and k. can't wait to do a million things, now that i'm HOME.

anyway i can't write much (see: http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/archives/002435.html for more on that). i can't even hyperlink, b/c only safari is working with this one bar of wifi reception, and the buttons aren't showing. perhaps this is a sign that i shouldn't be BLOGGING. i'm not an addict, baby, that's a liiiiiiiiiie.

iBlog

  RoyGBiv 
  Originally uploaded by suitablegirl.

iBook.
iTunes.
iPod.

iStressed.

(guess who hasn't packed yet?)

growl, frown, harrumph

i am underwhelmed by the response to my plea for donations for victims of the south asian quake.  serves me right for not posting earlier, i guess.  but i still find it slightly irksome that people will comment about kitsch, deities and condoms but NOT something so necessary and worthy...i know, i have no place dictating what people find interesting, but i do have the right to blab in my diary about how disheartening it is that only three people left links/trackbacks to the posts they wrote on their personal blogs in support of "quake day" (thanks Oodles!!)

/end bitching

maybe it's b/c they all donated and thus feel no need to write about it...?

/end pointless pollyanna-ing

i like my knickers black, my toys white

all you lot are jealous, yeah?  ;) 

i swear i'm about to discontinue this category, b/c i'm really more likely to post pictures on Flickr these days, but i'm in a nostalgic mood (read: fotolog was working on this rare and auspicious occasion). so go.

anyway, all you lot ('cept a certain mutineer) are gene-loves-jezebel level JEA-LOUS.  :D

october 19

wednesday is staff meeting day-- and today i couldn't stop thinking about how this was my last staff meeting.  the realisation filled me with wonder.  two more days, and it ends.  no worries, minnows.  i'm functioning like a german car; right on schedule with work, cruising towards friday's deadline, purring all the while.  i even had time to go to yoga class, which i haven't done in weeks. 

speaking of, i wish maisnon were here.  my instructor did NOT appreciate my new deepa-patented technique for "downward dog". no matter. right after teacher pushed me about to the "right" positioning, i went back to where i had started from, all the while muttering under my breath, "you're wrong.  deepa told me so."  and yeah, she kept mentioning that breathing i can't pronounce, but a few weeks ago, when i got my yoga tutorial, deepa knew what i was trying to talk about before i even opened my mouth.  sigh.  the west coast has no idea how lucky it got, when deeeee switched coastal teams.  :)

speaking of my home parentheses, lots of excitement looms ahead.  Halloween, reunions, MEETUPS, a new house...and my dog.  my gorgeous, regal, brilliant dog. after fawning all over every foreign canine who lives in my building b/c i can't see my own, i will fiiiiiinally get to pet, coo at and chill with the real deal.  i read something tonight that only intensified such feelings of anticipation.  the words at that link left me choking on salt.  chai, my prayers are yours tonight.  may your sweetness make a full, total, quick recovery.

october 17 (updated)

the brooklyn SM meetup was amazing with a capital "zing".  the nine hours i spent on vamoose in transit were well-worth the seven hours i bounced about nyc.  i have touched the legendary desidancer, y'all and i am richer for it.  by the by, she's quite the hottie in person.  watch out now.  i also hung out with fellow mutineers/erstwhile guest mutineers manish, turbanhead and cicatrix.  in addition to all THAT chocolate goodness, i met some shveeeet peeps, like our charming host Arzan, whose apt was just gemutlich. 

thanks to him, i have tried real parsi food.  you see, he's so considerate, he had vegetarian versions of everything for herbivores like me, vij, dd...if only the rest of the world could be so accomodating. ;) oh and in case you were wondering?  parsi food = yummy.  now, i can die peacefully, knowing my life was complete. ;) we all brought wine or beer (me= stella) but no one partook too much nor did anyone really notice the liquor-- we were all too busy exclaiming about the food.

the meetup lasted for hourssss.  what a perfect way to spend a sunday afternoon.  we were all grooving to the same energy, even though there was action in three-four separate locations: 

• the living room, where the biggest group hung out, talking talking talking
  

• the front door, where i tried to annoy vij and turbanhead, simultaneously

• the bedroom, where laptops were pulled out with such passion, you knew it was a desi bedroom

• the stoop, where dd and i thought we were in an episode of the cosby show, it all looked so beautifully familar

you missed out.  :)

when it was all over, Arzan was toe tweee, he dropped a bunch of us off in Manhattan.  it doesn't get much better than that-- bouncing along in a jeep with four kids who are cooler than you, or in this case, me. vij and i promptly took our low-key, non-rockstar asses to the BN at union square and had coffee and peanut butter bliss cookie. it was a ginormous cookie, hence its singularity. oh, yeah!  and we gossiped about ALL OF YOU. such fun!  don't believe me?  peep the album.

:+:

that "7" meme is sticking to my consciousness like lint on velcro. most of those surveys are disposable but i haven't stopped thinking about this one. what do i want out of life? what am i attracted to in a human? what am i capable of doing? so simple, all of those questions, but so significant, since i rarely ponder them. i felt like i was back in 8th grade and everyone had to write their names on a piece of paper, then pass it to whoever sat next to you.  your peers wrote nice things about you and at the end of the activity, we were all a little astonished at what others saw and appreciated within us. true, this is a little different, but what makes differentiates it might be exactly why it's so powerful. like most curmudgeonly spinsters, i spend more time dwelling, kvetching and bitching about what i can't rather than what i can. it's nice to reframe yourself, innit?

because i heart andrea...

i didn't go out tonight, so i finally have time to do "seven" for the only rose in Tejas...i do believe that this is the first time i've been "tagged" to do anything.  how's that cherry taste, andrea?  ;)

:+:

7 things I plan to do before I die:

1) be a mother.
2) write a book.  or ten.
3) obtain one more degree.
4) live in manhattan again and then another continent.
5) run for office.
6) buy the rolls royce my dad wanted and put his plates on it.
7) buy my mother something equally outrageous.

7 things I can do:

1) speak in public with no fear.  impromptu.
2) have four blogs+two fotologs, half of which are updated regularly.
3) wrench on the car.
4) have ringlets or pin straight hair, frizz-free, w/little effort.
5) "take" flattering pictures, almost every time.
6) write.
7) spin/persuade/evade i.e. strategic communications.

7 things I cannot do:

1) diet.
2) give up.
3) drink apple martinis or respect those who do.
4) program/code/whatever manish et al do.
5) be quiet.
6) resist cute babies and all dogs.
7) be single.

7 things that attract me to another person:

1) kindness.
2) higher SAT scores than mine. j/k. brains.
3) how they smell and what they sound like.
4) a soccer-playing past and hopefully present.
5) curly hair.
6) if they're well-spoken/excellent writers.
7) chemical engineering degrees from MIT.  hell, engineering degrees period.

7 things that I say most often:

1) how are you? i'm well, thank you for asking.
2) thank you so much.
3) i love you.
4) this is untenable.
5) fucking hell/fuck you/fuck that shit/wtf.
6) my ass, it is.
7) take care of you.

7 People I want to do this:

1. DesiDancer
2. Maisnon + everyone else Brimful tagged.  :D
3. Sonia
4. Abhi, hell any of the mutineers.  (HA!  let's exhale...)
5. Chai
6. All of the flog girls: Sibil, Nina, Julie, Lisa, Sue, Nik...
7. Veena

october 13

six days until i get trashed, because it's all over. eh, that's a bit dramatic. it just seemed like the apposite sentiment to marinate in, so i did. i don't know what's causing it, but the deadline at work isn't really stressing me out. (!)  i blame all of you and your warm fuzzies.  you minnows have brutally accurate aim with your positive vibrations, do you know that?  i'm smiling while i work, i'd whistle, but i've never been able to...it's mind-blowing that it should all be this peaceful.  it HAS to be you.

anyvay.

i've had...an interesting day. as for my interesting night, suffice to say i kept mumbling bitterly, "i missed the apprentice? for THIS?". yes, children, you are in for quite a deluxe diary entry.  i'll start at the very beginning, a verrrry gooood plaaaace to staaaaart. i was only at le job for a half-day, because i had an appointment before and an interview after work. this is annoying because i'm not going to bill what i had hoped to this week, but 'twas necessary.  i guess.

so my interview (which was to do VIP bottle service, like i used to back in 2001-2002) went well for me, but i don't think the guy who spoke to me was a fan of me apres the grilling...of him.  yes, 30% of the interview was about me, 70% was me firing off questions b/c the system for distributing tips at this uber-luxe, super-expensive, allgedly world-class lounge...makes no sense. 

let's get real, people:  when i worked at FIVE back in 2001, i tended bar next to a gorgeous persian guy-- with a PhD in biochemistry.  people with that many letters after their name pour appletinis *shudder* for clueless morons b/c the $$$ is FANTASTIC and THEN maybe they do it for the perks like skipping lines since you know every bouncer and throwing out anyone who annoys you, just b/c you can.  if the tip system is byzantine and essentially communist, then that is mad worrisome, yo.  i have a graduate degree.  i don't need this shit, unless, like in 2002, i can make $500 a weekend while having a blast.  shit, it's 2005.  i'd like to think i'd be able to make even MORE. 

they said i would have to do a "try-out", where i spent three unpaid hours observing and lightly participating; i shot back that i was free tonight, when they asked when i could do it.  i heard from another staffer that they were impressed with that, that no one else had offered to come in a mere four hours after their interview for their "try-out", which is meant to help them guage whether i'd be a good fit and v.v. 

i don't think i'm a good fit.

october 11, the wahhhh edition

i don't think, act or look 30, but i occasionally am bitchslapped with a reminder of my age-- i was in the shower thinking about what i wanted to write here and all i could do was wince and rub my neck and left shoulder.  the thought of mentioning yet another health issue infuriated me to no end and that's when it hit me-- i get injured so much more easily now. 

i thought it was just sleeping funny last night, but this is insane.  i was walking around at work today like i was impaled on a stake, which is something i last did after a horrific car accident in 2000...OW.  not good.  at least i can look straight ahead and pound out the content i'm writing for that deadline...eight days and it's ALL over.

i can't turn my neck in either direction happily and moving it to the left is excruciating. i really don't think i should be hearing noises when i move. i'm pretty sure i hurt something in my abs class, what with all that repetitive crunching upwards.  i think when we were working obliques plank-style, on our sides, i did something...bad. 

the whole reason i dig the abs class is b/c the instructor is a doll who comes up with all these unique ways to whimper in pain while feeling the burn...but the pain should be in my ABS, not my fucking neck.  i think what REALLY upsets me is that this whole cluster means i was doing abs improperly and i hate screwing things up.  proper form when working out is something i'm consumed with...that's why this is extra lame. 

when 800mg ibuprofen horse pills barely ameliorate the situation, it's bad, y'all. oh, if only i had kaiser again...i HATE my current health insurance.  really, it's only peace-o'-mind providin' if something catastrophic happens.  for all this middling, "eh" stuff...not so much.  i hate calling 1-800 numbers and getting a list of doctors in my area.  i just want to call a kaiser advice nurse and get an immediate appt at west end, next to GW.  i'd know which floor and which doctor and that's all so soothing. aaaaaaaghhhhhk.  i am a walking injury.  as much as i am slightly anti-dating-doctors, perhaps i SHOULD end up with one, it might just be an efficient strategy for dealing with my fantastic proclivity for destroying myself...

:+:

i'm toying with the idea of taking vamoose to new york at 7 and then back at 7 on sunday...i'm a sucker for meetups and parsi food sounds fascinating.  ah, who am i kidding.  i'll take any excuse to go to nyc. when i had a car here a few years ago, i used to do the 450-mile round trip twice a week, happily and easily.  the only reason i came back here is b/c my bartending gig was THAT lucrative. 

i had so much fun when i went last weekend...and besides maybe it won't be wet and nasty this time...i want a weather-related do-over. :)

october 10

no rest for the weary, no peace for my mind.  the next two weeks of work are going to be hell, i know this.  still, every time my mind drifts back to saturday, a now latent sweetness bubbles up, reminding me of 16-hours that contained so much joy.

oh, desidancer.  if only tamarind-laced tequila hadn't rendered your girl so useless.  your present would've been yours and my ecstasy would have doubled.

it was worth it, worth the $170 ticket, worth the exhaustion, worth the nerves, worth the hangover, worth the rain.  nights like that are the reason why we are alive.

Put your lips together and...

Antics carried over from SepiaMutiny... ;)

Put your lips together and...
Originally uploaded by suitablegirl.

73 · Do Confirm
October 6, 2005 04:27 PM · Direct link

"A N N A: actually, what are the odds of this? i'm wearing L'Oreal lipcolour ...right...now. intrigued?)"

Requirement: Your Pic or live Webcam feed is needed to confirm this.

I take this as a great reponsibility on my shoulders on behalf of all SM male mutineers and would like to make sure, that you are really wearing L'Oreal lipcolour. I promise that only the colour of the lips would be verified and nothing else.

If the color of the lips doesn't belong to Loreal, then the Sepia's will give the final judgement.

october 5

the cold war is over; as of one cordial and sincere email exchange earlier today, there is no "beef" betwixt malayalee girls who use fotologs. little nik, consider it a  "bon voyage" gift to you.  your chechi is all sorted. ;)

emily gilmore will be attending suki's wedding at "breadbar", pending a straightening out of logistics which pacifically involve whose new york-area couch to crash on, since her preferred bunk is inaccessible for the saturday in question. thank you for all the thoughtful responses; desidancer's in particular made me laugh out loud/want to take her as my date.  andrea's made me want to hug her, it was so her.

busy, busy, busy with these final days of my project at work, with my newest "pledge", with the mundane details of my crazy, frothy life which somehow consume hours, voraciously, until it's 3:40 am and i haven't even done the laundry yet.

i'm going to focus on the positive. sindoor the final betta is still alive. the dishwasher is humming, the recycling was schlepped down 14 stories and today is the first day i didn't touch medicine.  nary a cough drop rested on my tongue.  (i think i had one spritz of zicam yesterday, which is paltry, but still). i remembered to take my flintstones multi, my essential fatty acids AND my echinacea-laced gummy bears.  that's a first.

i've worked out every day since saturday...i had forgotten how satisfying and challenging interval training could be.  i'm pushing myself harder than i used to-- shorter breaks between sprints.  we'll see how this develops.  yesterday, i worked out three different times, if you can believe it.  weights at 3, then shower, then work.  abs class at 7:15, then shower, then work.  cardio at 11, then shower...again.  i don't think i've ever had a day quite like that.  fuck you, metabolism.  you may have won an early battle, but i'll be damned if you are victorious in this war against cheese.

october 4

I rolled my eyes when my friend Nisha used to watch the Gilmore Girls, when we were at GW...I couldn't see the appeal.  When I moved home in 2003, I was shocked to learn that Moms watched it, too.  My Mother hates TV.  This is why we don't have cable, like other normal families.  She switches on the television for the NBC Nightly News every evening and then turns it off. For her to watch a network series...it blew my mind.

Well, the old woman got me hooked.  Today I was in agony, trying to decide how I would make my 7:15 abs class (with my fave instructor, who only teaches once a week) AND take a 14-minute train ride home AND watch it, when it starts at 8pm.  I told myself that I was being pathetic if I let a TV show dictate my schedule, that I mocked people like that, so I did the abs class and told myself "I'll get home, when I get home."  Or, at 8:35pm, which is what the clock read as I burst through the front door.  Frustrating, but oh well.

When I first sat down with MY Mother to watch it two years ago, she snickered and said that I reminded her of a character on the show-- I thought she meant Lorelai, the protagonist or Rory, the daughter...maybe we would bond by watching this Mother-Daughter program.  Yeah, that's the ticket.  Um, no.  If you are familiar with GG, then you know the personality of Emily Gilmore well.  Mother of Lorelai and Grandmother of Rory, she's an old money, cold, demanding, imperious, Connecticut-WASP-matriarch to the max.  THAT'S whom I remind my mother of...I threw a pillow at her and she didn't back down.  "You're JUST like her.  Watch.  You'll see."

I remember that some social event happened on the show (Suki's wedding??) and Emily Gilmore received a last-minute invite to it.  She was the picture of well-contained rage.  "It's a PITY invite!", she declared and it was obvious that she felt like if her presence were really desired, she would've found out about the event at an appropriately early time.

Something similar has happened to me today and I wonder if my Emily-like reaction is warranted.  Truthfully, when I found out about this occasion, I felt hurt that I had been left out of all the fun.  Now a hand has been extended my way (though not from the..."hostess"...if that's what you can call it) and I wonder if I should go.  I don't feel wanted, I'm worried I'd be imposing.  They knew how to get in touch with me; since they didn't, doesn't that mean they're just not that in to me?  That's how I read it, especially since the two women who seem to be central to this function aren't fond of me, AFAIK.  I can already hear the, "You're taking this too seriously/You're silly for not coming/Well, I'm inviting you"-objections from the kind soul who asked me if I'd go...

What would you do?

:+:

Work.  is.  crazy.

Oy, you can't trust ANYONE.

Facing Abductor, Girls Proved
Martial Arts Training

By Jamie Stockwell and Tom Jackman
Washington Post Staff Writers
Tuesday, October 4, 2005; B01

When the masked man attacked them inside their bedroom in the middle of the night Sunday, the twin 10-year-old girls responded just as they had been taught in their martial arts class: They fought back.

The commotion woke their parents, who rushed in and thought they recognized the tall, ponytailed intruder. The girls' father whacked him with the base of a table lamp and yanked off part of his mask. As the intruder ran from the Vienna townhouse, the parents were pretty sure it was "Andy," an instructor at Mountain Kim Martial Arts studio in Vienna, where their daughters take classes every week, the mother told police.

Hours later, Andrew Jacobs, 42, a part-time instructor at the studio who holds a black belt, was arrested at the brick house he shares with his sister, not far from the girls' home. Yesterday, he appeared in court, with a black eye and bruises on his face, on charges of assault, attempted abduction and burglary. A judge ordered him held without bond.

october 2

i feel better.  but not better enough to spend four hours on a bus, eight hours wandering the streets of manhattan and four more hours on a bus.  :(

the sad thing is, i was so excited to go and see desidancer perform. i didn't even go out on friday night, because i thought resting would guarantee that i'd be up for a crazy sunday.  sigh.

with ennis' words ringing in my head, "you may WANT to go to new york, but you know you shouldn't, you'll get sicker..." i pussied out.  gah.

the truth is, i was still feeling so exhausted and achey, i didn't even go to SALTAF...and that shit was in town and FREE.  sigh sigh sigh.  i'm so worried this is turning into a sinus infection.  i've had a brutal headache concentrated in my t-zone on and off all weekend.  i so don't need sinusitis.

i did make it to my saturday morning hip-hop dance class.  and i did see sjm for a few chill hours on saturday night (he was back in dc for SALTAF)  but aside from that, nothing.  no leaving the house.  no glam anything.  this is one of the first weekends where i FEEL 30.  i'm not as much of a rockstar anymore, kids.  wah.

oh, and a fourth fucking fish died.  what the hell.  the oldest (and last) one is six months old and still here (knock on ikea)...the other four...gone.  depressing.  it's like the universe is tying up loose ends FOR me.  hey!  look!  you can move, ANNA!  you don't even have pets to worry about now!  meh.  i have the immune system of a retarded gnat.  and my life is like a freight train with no brakes or conductor.  seacrest, out.

One-line review of "Napoleon Dynamite"

I didn't laugh once, in fact, my only reaction to the film was a slight craving for tater tots; now, I have a headache.