April 7

I am okay.

I want everyone to know that.

A little stunned, a bit anxious, but mostly okay.

If I am affected by anything, it is the landslide of support and good wishes which fortunately has come my frightened way.

I started to write this post yesterday to update all of you worried souls as to how I was doing, but just as I was typing how stunned I was that everyone had been so uniformly kind, the LiveJournal fiasco occurred and suddenly, I felt my chest tremble as my pulse exploded in my head. I couldn't breathe. For a few minutes, I irrationally hated everyone who was born in 1983, since (randomly) everyone who was being so callous about my "crappy writing" and "whining" was a 23-year old jerk. Then I was sad, because despite over 150 comments filled with love and goodness elsewhere, ONE pathetic web page filled with ignorance and shitty, immature statements made me capsize emotionally.

Unable to hold back, I responded to LJassholess and forced myself to not check back for the rest of the night. After tossing and turning fretfully, I went to work today. And to my continued, grateful amazement, the grace kept coming my way via SM and this blog. And because of that, I feel a small measure of peace.

Thank you, for your concern, for your comments, for your emails, for your prayers, for your phone calls, for your friendster testimonial and for your love. I love all of you, too.

Comments

[badmash]

Anna, 150+ people telling you how much they admire and respect you - your strength and your talent. That says it all! I've never seen or heard of anything like that anywhere else - online or otherwise!

[Msichana]

I echo badmash here. As we say in guju...eni ghaand!

[maya]

hey anna - just wanted to let you know that not all of us on lj were assholes and after you comments a whole bunch of people called those guys out on their shitty behavior. like i said there, i hope the harsh, ignorant comments of a few won't make you regret laying yourself on the line there.

[maya]

also, i wanted to let you know that usually my spelling errors and general grammar comprehension is not as bad as my above comment.

[Sue]

That was a damned fine piece you wrote for SM. I was so moved. It is still haunting me. Thank you. Breathing through the fear--that's courage defined.

[yasmine]

Anna, I'm late on this because words always fail me when you write - and especially when you write such heartfelt, heartbreaking, but ultimately hopeful posts as you did two days ago. Thank you for your courage.

We are all blessed because we know even a little piece of you through this vast network of webs. And I am humbled by the stories you share with us, even if it makes you feel fragile afterward.

As the outpouring of support and solidarity may have indicated, your post on SM was not a mistake. Don't second-guess yourself during all those times when your generosity and empathy and strength of spirit are so boundless. Your writing is always necessary.

Wishing you much peace, and beautiful days. Rock on with your fierceness, lovely lady.

[andrea]

stay strong, Anna.

[Jeet]

Good to hear that you are okay. And you have the support of more people than some unpretentious bastards. Ignore them ..

and seriously..you love me???... i am blushin at work

[nina]

glad to see you are at some kind of peace after writing this, especially considering people are determined to downplay your feelings and emotions. never be scared to write whatever and we all are always willing to listen (read) and send you lovin when needed:)