Nana, I love you.

My sister just called, weeping.  Eight years to the day that I lost my Father, the only Grandmother I've ever known has died.  I feel like I am falling in to a bottom-less pit, like I'm racing through the air, flailing, filled with panic about when I'm going to crash...even though I can't see the ground which would stop this helllish descent. I can't breathe.  Why this month, why this day?  Why at all?  I never got to say "Good-bye"...to EITHER of them.  My heart is shattered, again.

My Grandma is gone.  My Nana is dead.  I will never see her again.  I will never get to tell her I'm sorry  for being the worst fucking granddaughter ever.  I keep losing the people I love and I can't take it anymore, I can't.  How much can one person grieve?

Comments

[kittenheel]

Anna,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my grandmother over a year ago. It's such a shock when it happens so suddenly and the family is half a world away in India. I too lost my father 9 years ago and when my grandmother passed, it opened that painful wound again.

Much comfort and love to you and your family at this time.

-Kittenheel

[William]

Some people say that g-d never gives us more than we can handle. They say that this, too, will pass. Those people mean well but they don't ease the pain. Life is a continuous process of overcoming obstacles, difficulties and problems. It's the manner in which we overcome them that shapes us into who are. From your writings I can tell that you are an amazing, elegant and graceful woman. It's the grace that will get you through this tragic time also. And we will all be amazed at the elegance with which you handle it. My sincerest condolences.

[Amardeep]

Sorry to hear about your loss, Anna.

I hope you're around people friends or family who can give some support.

[Saheli]

I'm so very sorry Anna. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

[LS]

Anna Akka,

I hope you find peace in the memories of the times you spent with your grandmother. May she bless you from heaven, and may those around you provide you comfort and peace in this time of sadness.

Love, ~V.

[BrooklynBrown]

This is always a difficult time of year, where it seems like the struggles are perpetual. They shall pass, though. know that, and be good to yourself in the interim. as amardeep says, surround yourself with people who love you, and it sounds like there are many of those people.

[Arti]

Anna,
Just wanted to say that you are in my prayers.

[tubs]

sorry buz.

luv u.

tubs.

[Jacob]

So sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my grandmother on Christmas day 2004. She passed away before I could call to wish her. It took a while to get over it but you do get over it, just takes a lot of time.

[Anonymous]

Sorry. You and your family will be in my prayers.

[Kenyandesi]

Anna, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. PLEASE call me if you need anything.

Love and Hugs.

[andrea]

Anna ... I am so sorry to hear ... you're in my prayers and I'll light a candle for your grandmother at Mass tomorrow.

[Jiji]

Anna, I'm so sorry to hear about your Ammachi.. You & your family are in my prayers. HUGS

[Rekha]

Anna, I'm so sorry to hear this. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

[cousin l]

so sorry to hear about your nana. praying for you and your family during this time.

[chick pea]

miss A: sorry for the tragic loss... you are in my thoughts..

[niki]

I was raised with my grandmother so i can imagine what you are going through. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. you are in my thoughts and prayers.
chakkara umma annachy!

[Navin Nair]

Sorry for your loss Anna. You and ur family are in my prayers and thoughts.

Take care,
Navin

[Roonie]

My heart bleeds for you. I'm sorry.

[Yeti]

my thoughts and prayers with you and your family, anna.

[Anushya]

Anna, My thoughts and my prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.

*HUGS*

[titusmaximus]

wow Anna, i'm at a loss for words at what you have been going through... may the Almighty bless and keep you

[Rupa]

Anna,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You are in my thoughts, my dear.

[Rupa]

Anna, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. You are in my thoughts, my dear.

[Aditi]

I'm so sorry for yoru loss. May her soul rest in peace.

[Ani]

I am sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my prayers.

[StacyMary]

So sorry to hear about your grandma...I lost mine earlier this year and hated myself for not being a better granddaughter to her..its a horrible feeling. Only God can help you through this time...keeping you and your fam in my prayers.

[Sriram]

My condolences to you and your family.

[nisha]

a n n a, i wish you peace and comfort. you are in my thoughts and prayers. i'm just around the corner if you need anything.
*hug*

[Janeofalltrades]

Anna I'm so sorry for your loss. Hang in there. My best to you and your family. **huggs**
Rupa

[Maurice Reeves]

Anna,
You are in my thoughts and prayers as well. I pray that you may find succor for your anguish and are not consumed by the darkness you feel inside you.

[chaitan]

so sorry to hear this.

[ads]

I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.