A N N A J O H N ' S D I A R Y

January 31: Back to work, pneumonia in tow

A wee programming note: some of the pictures I've used on my diary lately are part of a flickr challenge/group called "365days"; the goal is to take one self portrait each day for a year.  That sounds easier than it is-- I'm already four days behind.  Drat and double drat.  This, you see, was one of my NYR.

I explain this because some of you may be wondering about the change in "format" here.  Well, for the first time since its inception in January of 2004, this journal of mine lies neglected.  This really bothers me, but the unpleasant truth is, I don't see AJD the way I once did (which bothers me even more).  It no longer feels natural or obvious to dash off a few paras about my day. 

There's a special place in hell for the person who has had such a depressing, lingering affect on me, not for causing me to turn my face away from this space-- but for making my friends password protect their blogs...when they aren't quitting them entirely.  Innocence has been snatched away, leaving tatters of expressionism where inspiration once ruled.

I've been desperate to get back to diary-ing, and even as I feel that loss and disappointment, I'm doing this "365 days project"; those of you who were around five years ago during the glory days of flog knew that then, the composition of my captions was inevitably superior to the composition of my photos. 

That has not changed.  Though I don't think it's required, I find myself writing mega-blurbs for the daily photo project...and I know, these are the words I once would have typed here.  So, instead of feeling bad about this or guilty over the one or two times I've cross-posted, I'm going to try and be proactive and expand on those captions I write daily on flickr...but I'm going to do that here.  Start there, end here.  That works.

.

Not Ready For a Neti

Before the "Irrigation", originally uploaded by suitablegirl.

So...I was on GChat with Deee, and she was telling me that she, too, was sick.  We're sick of being sick.

Deepa: as part of my insanity
  i bought a neti pot
  i'm sick of having colds and allergies
  so i'm going all ayurveda auntie
  on the problem!

me: oh, please tell me how that works

12:18 PM Deepa: i wonder if there is something similar for bronchitis? some ayurvedic/non-prescription thing

dude, i think you are as .... squeamish about certain things as me a neti pot is basically used to wash out your nose/nasal cavity

me: i saw it in the nyt and i'm scared of water in my nose but i'm so sick of being sick :(

Deepa: dude, yes - i'm not thrilled with the idea but, if it works

me: and tylenol/anti-histamines etc only have done so much

Deepa: i'll get over it.  yeah, i'm also sick of allergies  and the idea of washing out allergens ... MAKES SENSE

resolved: i will try neti pot with plain water (you are supposed to make mild saline solution) today

i have probably had it for close to a year

it sits in my med cabinet and i look at it, warily and never touch it

me: oh wow.  you had it before the current neti-boom  :)

12:23 PM Deepa: i've been wanting, in theory, to neti for ages

there is also a somewhat less scary option:
  www.kadavy.net/blog/archive/2005/06/sinusrinse_nasa.php
 
sinus rinse

::

So as I staggered to Rite-Aid this evening, I kept thinking there was something I needed besides Tylenol Cough-and-Sore-Throat liquid, a.k.a. Mint Nyquil which doesn't taste like ass.

Thankfully, despite the mental fog and exhaustion, I remembered the afore-pasted convo before I left the store.  I didn't know what I was looking for, so I bought the only thing that looked like a "kit".  Well, that and it was the only product that had the scary but necessary word "irrigation" on it...

::

One day later:  as odd as it was, it worked.  The "kit" I bought was essentially "Neti for Dummies", so it's not that great a surprise that it was effective, but whatever.  It's nice to have an option which doesn't involve benadryl (which leaves me feeling drunk) or claritin (which I'm not sure really works).   I guess India really does do everything better, but don't take that from me, not when Oprah is all giddy over her unfortunately-termed "nose bidet".

Julia Louis-Dreyfus is a Delta Gamma, too.

"Where are you?"

"Walking home."

"What did you do?"

"I met Jay and his heterosexual life partner E at Veritas, it was great."

"Oh, Jay!  How is he?"

"Busy. Well. He asked about you, too."

"Wait, did you say life partner?"

"Heterosexual.  But they were both in very attractive,  almost-matching sweaters in Dupont Circle."

"O...kay"

"I was just supposed to run in to Jay-- I didn't know he'd bring E, but get this, when E asked Jay whom they were meeting, Jay was all, 'Elaine Benes', to which E responded enthusiastically."

"What?"

"Apparently, after I hung out with them a few months ago, they decided that I reminded them of Elaine.  From Seinfeld."

"I know who Elaine is...I'm just..."

"Hilarious, right?  I can kinda see it.  I have a lot of guy friends, I'm far too friendly with my ex-bfs...actually, this isn't the first time I've heard this.  Ten years ago, in Davis.  Someone said it then.  What do you think?"

"Well, I never would have thought of it before..."

"But?"

"I do see it..."

"Really?"

"Yes, especially all the shoving."

Comin' out the, comin' out the woofas in my jeep

Just in time for this thread on SM...

Comin' out the, comin' out the woofas in my jeep, originally uploaded by suitablegirl.

1) Description of a Fool – Tribe

2) Holy Moly – Talib

3) Pass the Plugs – De La

4) What Side you on – Public Enemy

5) Jeep Ass Niguh - Masta Ace

6) Ain't No Half Steppin' (Promo Mix) – Big Daddy Kane

7) Higher – Q-Tip

8) All Black – Big L

9) B-Boy Bouillabaisse: 59 Chrystie Street/Get On The Mic/Stop That Train/A Year And A Day... – Beastie Boys

10) Machine Gun Funk (Explicit Album Version) – Notorious B.I.G.

11) Come Anew – Souls of Mischief

12)  In and Out – Del tha Funkee Homosapien

As of 11:46 tonight, I am 33-years old [updated]

you must've been a beautiful baby 044, originally uploaded by suitablegirl.

This is a photograph from my fourth birthday party.

My mom is wearing her wedding sari and I'm wearing a floor-length dress with a prominent red velvet bow in my hair. The little girl on the floor, on the other side of my Mom was my then-best friend, Annie. Her father was my father's best friend; it worked out nicely.

Yes, I have a spot of cake on my face; it was one of my favorite birthday cakes of all time, because it had a lemon-filling. My 6-month old sister smashed part of her head in to it, happily. She had just started to pull herself up to a standing position at that age, and the table my cake was on was almost at her eye-level.

There were over 100 people crammed in to our house for this "evening" event, which my Dad lived for; it was his famous "New Year's/Birthday/Christmas bash", which he held annually on the first weekend in January.  I really miss it.  I always felt like such a special girl, because my birthdays were so huge and happy. 

Since 1999, we have not celebrated, because the man who organized it all, who exulted in the merriment, is gone.  To some, I sound oddly petty as a 33-year old lamenting the lack of celebrating but for those who grew up with me, they know.  Twenty years of huge parties created a subconscious expectation of more of them, and to abruptly end such a glittering, fun tradition was brutal, not because I was the proto-type for those twats on My Super Sweet 16, but because it is confirmation that my father is really gone.

One day, when I'm married, I'm going to bring that tradition back. I've felt incomplete without it. Maybe by then, there will be a different little girl, in a similar dress, with ribbons in her hair.  I hope that I can make her feel as loved as I was when this picture was taken, a moment before my mom took the edge of her precious Kanjeevaram sari and gently brushed the frosting off my cheek.