Some of you have noticed and wondered about it, some of you have noticed and worried about it and finally, some of you have noticed and rejoiced-- I have not posted or commented on Sepia Mutiny in almost two months.
I couldn't, because of what I was going through; the number one thing my doctor specified was that I was not to be under any sort of stress whatsoever, lest it exacerbate my condition, which was serious enough that I was on medical leave from work for seven weeks.
Sadly, SM is one of/if not the most stressful aspect of my life, because of my devotion to keeping it lovely (which meant moderating for up to 16 hours a day) but also because the vicious personal attacks are a bit much to bear, even after five years of blogging. It's easy for others to tell me to ignore it, they don't get hate mail. Yes, can you believe it? I used to get hate mail, among the dozens of blog-related email messages I receive each day. That's stressful. I started approaching both my inbox and SM itself with trepidation; what nasty email lurked within the former or worse, what borderline-trolly-is-thisclose-to-being-banned jerk had left a new comment, which was visible on the sidebar? Who needs such madness?
I didn't. Not when my health was being jeopardized. By the way, my lovelies, my deterioration was occurring when my life was simultaneously turning upside-down; I was packing up and moving far, far away...and moving is the most stressful thing I ever do. My job was all shook up thanks to three re0rgs in as many weeks. My ankle got re-sprained. I was supposed to be planning the hugest, most significant day of my life, but that was its own nightmare. When it rains, it monsoons.
So I avoided my Sepia baby, because I had to, because I needed to heal. That's where I've been. Resting. Running. Rebooting. Rising.
Today, the tragic, terrorist attack on Jaipur compelled me to put up my first post in two months. Three out of the first five comments referenced my absence, which makes me feel concomitantly loved and guilty on a thread about something so serious. It is wonderful to feel missed and appreciated, but I don't want to inadvertently threadjack my own post, because of my unexplained absence. Not when I can explain it here, in a more appropriate space.
Thank you for noticing that I was gone, and for graciously, warmly welcoming me home. I've missed you, too.