Exhibit A:
Terroirs d'Antan
Boudin Noir Sausage
Ingredients: pork blood, onion, duck meat, pork snouts, pork fat, salt, beef blood plasma, cornstarch, sugar, allspice, coriander, nutmeg, caraway, pepper, natural pork casings.
$15.30 @ Social Safeway,
in the gourmet portion of the freezer aisle.
That's all you, omnivores.
I love almost everything about flickr, except for the cringe certain flickr mails inspire.
Why such a rxn you might ask? Well, once a week, I get "added" by men who have a brown-fetish (membership in a group devoted to Indian kitty cats is a dead giveaway) or more traumatic for me than that, desi couples who do shameful things with their shame-shames. ;)
I say "traumatic", because often, these people have full meeshas, smile-free photographs and other characteristics I totally associate with my relatives. Who are uber-conservative. Or...so...I...thought? Maybe the couple below have a cousin or niece like me, who is blogging along innocently somewhere, unaware that she got some freak in her blood? Maybe my own family members...uh...yeah, that concept just made me throw up a little, in my mouth. Wait, there's probably a flickr group for pictures of THAT, too! Wheee!
I checked my alerts, saw a new post on SM.
Read that post and comments, noticed that I was getting credit for something I did not do.
I got confused; I surfed back to past SM post to see who wrote the post I didn't write.
Read the post, started skimming the comments.
Saw a super-courteous, and much-appreciated (even a year later) comment which directed thread-jackers elsewhere, to a whole new post/discussion on that person's own blog.
Followed the link and read the post; still smiling at this point, what an awesome thing for them to do.
Read the first comment and felt like Bruce Banner, turning green as my shirt shredded.
Hulk mad.
Immediately started to respond.
Paused.
Hulk sad.
Realized that many of the people who frequent that space dislike both me and SM.
Asked myself what good would or could come, from my addressing closed minds.
Stifled my inner-15-year-old, who is not so clear-headed, calm or philosophical.
Immediately comforted said 15-year-old, who internally wailed, "I can't keep this in! Stop telling me that I shouldn't leave this comment because I'll be over it by tomorrow! YOU'RE NOT EVEN MY REAL MOM!"
Sighed.
Remembered that this is why I have this diary, which I have not felt safe to express myself in, for over a year.
I've gone on record (on SM, on Friendster, away messages and on Facebook) as being a huh-yoooge Scrabulous fan-- it's addictive and unlike snickers, it satisfies. While I'm tickled that so many of my friends play, I still can't get enough; yes, I have become insatiable. There is only one option for me...
One-night Scrabbles.
I resisted the idea, initially. It seemed so tawdry and dirty. I thought, "you just click..."join game"...and *play* with a total stranger? Eeek!" As stupid as it now reads, it sounded like walking in to a swingers club and that's about the level of fear and aversion I felt towards it. But then, I grew desperate.
And I clicked. And I played. And it wasn't so bad! I decided that I had been an idiot for feeling the way I had.
Then the game ended, and I went back, cautiously and hopefully, for more. That's when I saw a "come-on" which confirmed all of my earlier apprehensiveness:
"Gay men only! If you are a woman, I will DELETE you!"
Um, okay. What this told me was that there were probably far more hetero people doing similar. I hit refresh and lo, there was confirmation.
"Girls only, if you're not hot, too bad."
Even better:
"I want girls to talk nasty with me, no chat, no game".
Eew, eew, eew.
I learned to shrug it off and though I noticed that I tended to only choose other females to play with, I've become far more nonchalant about these pick-up games. Until today. Which is when I saw something which I had to record in my diary, because I've meant to write about my weird scrabulous hang-up for a while now, I haven't got around to it, there's no time like the present AND this is so...well, you'll see.
Since most people leave "fake email addresses" (which I have no quibble with), I am publishing this here, where I know it will be read by my intended recipient. I am also attempting to send it via the email which they left. Yes, I find this person's comments that unsettling.
::
Ellen:
I deleted your last comment, because it bothered me.
Look, the phrasing and certain terms you use sound exactly like an extremely creepy ex- who stalked me for a bit...obviously if I'm writing this to you, it's because I'm 51% sure that you are NOT him and that such things are all just an unfortunate coincidence.
There is a second issue: everything you type somehow emanates from a different IP address, each time, which usually points to trolling. Combine that with your...unique comments and I'm not sure what to make of all this. My inner idealist is hoping you are a real person, because the last thing I need is a new troll, but using words like "entourage" to describe decent people or talking about how "several people" whom you know have met me and think _____ about me, makes me wonder otherwise.
If you have issues with me, you can email me. I don't have a ton of time, but I will try and respond promptly. Only trolls feel the need to stage public interventions via my comments section, purportedly for my own sake or benefit. If you don't need an audience for whatever it is you are doing, then I'm tempted to think you are genuine.
It is disheartening that I must state this, obviously and explicitly, but I don't require that all the comments left on my diary be sycophantic or in lock step agreement with me. But this is my diary and therefore the most personal blog I keep. All I ask is that the comments which people leave be civil and NOT freak me out. It's not too much to want.
::
Well, look what I received, in the time it took me to post this...
From: Mail Delivery Subsystem <mailer-daemon@googlemail.com>
This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification
Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently:
Technical details of permanent failure:
PERM_FAILURE: SMTP Error (state 16): 554 delivery error: dd Sorry your message to rockchick@yahoo.com cannot be delivered. This account has been disabled or discontinued [#102]. - mta228.mail.re3.yahoo.com
So, the other day...I scribbled this, mostly as a note to myself (this is my diary and that's what I use it for):
I just found out that Ann Coulter is also a Delta Gamma alum.
I don't love my sorority any less, but I can hardly bear the thought that Ann Coulter and I are...sisters. Lord, help me.
Someone who lives up to their handle, who has never commented here before, left me the following sweetness:
Comments
Younever talk about any of your sorority sister friends (if you had any), and at your age isn't it time to get over the whole "I'm a sorority girl" thing? P.S. I'm desi and was in a sorority too.
Sue Ellen.
Every girl
over 25
should have
a cucumber
in her house.-the unsuspecting Boss in "Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead" (1991), which actually stars Christina Applegate (you gotta put me on) vs. Elisabeth Shue, which is what I originally thought...
...we really are that stupid. Well, absent-minded is probably a more apposite adjective. I know, I know...tomorrow is "pull-a-prank-day". It's just a pathetic coincidence. Seriously.
>:(
This is not helping my "Maybe-it's-time-to-leave" angst, y'all.
Who invented "I heart NY"?
Taylor
Stafford, TexasDear Taylor:
The "I Love New York" campaign was commissioned by the state of New York and designed by the very famous graphic designer Milton Glaser in 1977. You know, we love it when we can answer a question so quickly -- in a New York minute, even.
But, wait. New York is a place of stories. And the one behind the logo may be more interesting than the design itself -- which is nothing more than three letters and a heart symbol. Glaser created "I Love New York" at a time when nobody loved the city.
President Ford had just told New York to drop dead. Serial killer Son of Sam prowled the boroughs. One of the world's greatest cities was deteriorating under budget deficits, blackouts, riots, and -- according to Glaser himself -- lots and lots of doggie poo. Today, just about everyone's willing to show the city some love, but back in the late 1970s, confessing your amore for the Big Apple left a rotten taste in many a mouth.
The city and the state eventually saw economic upturns, and New Yorkers rallied to address many of its plaguing issues. But we believe Glaser's deceptively simple design and sentiment surely played a part in the slow but strong rebirth of the great metropolis. [linkage]
(it's under "wtf" b/c of Ford's snub...i must google this later)
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i am underwhelmed by the response to my plea for donations for victims of the south asian quake. serves me right for not posting earlier, i guess. but i still find it slightly irksome that people will comment about kitsch, deities and condoms but NOT something so necessary and worthy...i know, i have no place dictating what people find interesting, but i do have the right to blab in my diary about how disheartening it is that only three people left links/trackbacks to the posts they wrote on their personal blogs in support of "quake day" (thanks Oodles!!)
/end bitching
maybe it's b/c they all donated and thus feel no need to write about it...?
/end pointless pollyanna-ing
if there's one thing that freaks out hyper-squeamish me, it's people who refuse to blow their very runny noses, long after it's clear to everyone with an ear that there is liquid seeping out of facial apertures that desperately needs to be managed.
i spend my days in an "open area", so any minor noise made by, oh, approximately a dozen people who share this space is totally audible. two out of the four people nearest to me are apparently suffering from allergies (as am i). they are male. they are being gross. they have been going, "s-n-o-o-o-r-t!" all day. this makes me shudder. when did making noise with mucous and or phlegm become acceptable in social or public situations? GAH.
i even sweetly trilled, "i have KLEENEX in case anyone needs it?"
response: "S-N-O-R-T-!"
right. i think i'm going to hurl. or go deaf from listening to NPR at unhealthy levels. >: (
"omg." was all he said.
that exclamation doesn't even BEGIN to convey anything about what he sent me via AIM. as the images moved across my screen, my mind reeled under the weight of all there was to be appalled at...adam-sandler's-unfortunate-cousin, mullet...MULLET!, angels???, "interesting" editing, mispronouncing our country's name as "uh-mer-uh-kuhhhh", excessively literal exposition that bad cheerleaders wouldn't try(he sings moon and there's the moon!), the wardrobe the 80's left behind, cringe-inducing lyrics, abuse of the flag, abuse of MY eyes AND ears, turning on "heartlight" at the end...
i think the "omg" was a mild rxn, actually. here's the link. and yes, you need sound to fully...appreciate it.
patriotism doesn't have to suck, you know.
i'm an erstwhile republican AND part of a family that is thrilled to have someone on active duty and even i went "owwwww". oy, my bleeding eyes and ears.
From my Daily Candy SF email...kindly note the name of the pillow. (?!)
:+:
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Continue reading "please take those dirty pillows away from me" »
...suddenly i'm a P-I-M-P? seriously, i can't make this shit up:
http://friendfinder.com - Dating Personals and Social Networking
http://quizhappy.com - Ph.D certified tests and quizzes
http://dine.com - Restaurant Reviews in your area
:+:
i'm waiting for "jiminy cricket" to tell me to change his email addy or otherwise obscure it...but i don't know...do whoremongers deserve such courtesies? ;)
"i'm so discumbobalated*. i don't know if that's a real word, but tha's what i am."
dearest lord. why have you allowed unnecessary fertility on your creation?
look! look what has happened! gah!
*her pronunciation
i think my "brother" wants to wank to me.
this guy, "sanoj", has been posting comments for a few months now-- most of them overtly religious, all of them seemingly harmless. i think he once went to WIMP and asked why i don't carry a bible in my purse, or something to that affect. :) rather than "sanoj", he used to sign off with, "your brother" or "someone_who_loves_you_dearly".
at first he kind of weirded me out-- i'm orthodox, and we aren't "in your face" about our religion--that is something i'm grateful for and proud of, btw. anyway, to have all this, "annadear, turn to God dear, God will replace your father, pray dear" stuff slung at me was slightly strange, as i think it would be for anyone.
still, i thought i had this guy pegged. i thought he was an earnest zealot who possibly wanted to save my soul, yadda yadda yadda. the LAST thing i expected was to see him sign a "fake" email with "anna@cu^t.'
{ this would be a good moment to say that i think fake email addresses are practically an artform. they delight and amuse me endlessly, so yes, i pay close attention to them. all of you "me@anna.com"s or "none@idontgiveitout.org"s...i see you, baby... ;) }
back to the perwert at...um...hand.
well, well, well. the zealot is fanatic about more than just G-d, it seems.
to answer the question that doesn't merit a reply, no, sanoj. i am not some 'hardcoreindiangirls' staffer, and no, i am not going to that site to see what you're talking about. i don't like to look at filth. like aus-ome candy-blogger "P.X.", i'm even thinking of banning your IP addy... ;)
i love being needlessly and incorrectly exoticized,especially by someone clueless who uses that horridly slimy "a/s/l" protocol. blech. any joy i'd feel over the kind compliment is eviscerated by this perception that i'm not who i am. blue-eyed canadians (via his email addy) don't have a monopoly on "western" anything, except a terrible pronunciation of the word "about".
anyway, do you know that i've never a/s/l 'd anyone?
so why on earth do they a/s/l me?
ick.
:+:
subject: yr fotolog pics .
___________________
you are very beautiful to look at with my western eyes!
jeff 24m toronto canada
clueless, inflexible, anonymous comment-leavers who pose as tongue-sticking-out emoticons may all go fuck themselves with medical waste.
it's not good enough when someone's trying to work for justice and do the right thing, is it? you may be anonymous but the way you hate unnecessarily has brown written all over it.
contrary to what you might think, anony-pussy, we don't sit, glued to the movable type interface all damned day...we've got lives just like you...don't.
Continue reading "so much for giving up cursing for new year's" »
i just got this in my GMail...i haven't the foggiest what it's about, so i thought i'd annoy all of you with it.
From: Vidyut Katagade
To: suitablegirl@gmail.com
Date: Sat, 23 Oct 2004 22:10:01 +0530
Subject: My Prime Concern precedes my identity. Hence my concerns first: GANGAA the Holy Indian River SHEDS TEARS but we fox ourselves that IT IS HOLY WATER
By proxy for River Ganga that pours her Heart at incessant Insults and Man made Pollution along her 2500km long course from GANGOTRI in Himalayas to GANGA SAGAR in the Bay of Bengal, I am humbly composing and singing 'RAKSHAT GANGAAM' a Sanskrit monologue in POETRY authored by Dr. Kamala Pandeyaa of VARANASI. Holy Ganga and an eternal but ailing Civilization together symbolize the inner contradictions within my soul and me.
Vidya Kalvint Katagade
oh darling deep...i lack the words...seriously. ;)
the rest of you? go here. amuse at will.
ah uncle-ji...you just spent over a quarter-mill to employ someone who is a borderline racist. where was kylie's famed voice when her douchebag sister mindlessly backed up the positions of the BNP? her sister dannii hates indians, thinks that jean-marie le pen "struck a chord" and is the biggest twat ever...and where is such ignorance conceived? at home. which is where kylie was, too. sigh. unless that price tag included putting it in her ass and then shroom-slapping her, t'wasn't worth it, imo.
MINOGUE THE WEDDING SINGER
Pop beauty Kylie Minogue turned wedding singer at a plush Paris wedding last week. The sultry star was paid $356,000 to sing to groom Amit Bhatia and bride Vanisha Mittal -- daughter of Indian billionaire Lakshmi Mittal, who reportedly spent over $100 million on the wedding at Vaux Le Viconte, just outside the French capital.
One wedding guest Amit Rai enthused, "I pinched myself when Kylie, singing at a private function for the first time, sang 'Slow.'
"People didn't have dessert as her performance was more tempting."
i don't usually get email thanks to the blogs, but...
seems to be on edge? keeps him guessing? wtf? um, okay.
were you concerned that our community wasn't mainstream enough? well, worry not, we've arrived, and not just b/c "South Asian Chic" is on the title of the latest Newsweek! nympho brown women are now utilising that hallowed sanctuary of repressed horndogs everywhere: my beloved Craig's List. look!
or, peruse the screen shot below, posted here for your convenience, since i know that most of you lazy bastards won't click the afore-created link:
excuse me if you think i'm being harsh, but i read "Namesake" a few months ago, and i'm still wounded on behalf of Gogol, its haunting protagonist. (Moushumi SUCKS! no...she TEABAGS!!!) so you see, i'm especially sensitive regarding brown vomen cheaters. on a wholly unrelated note: bravo jhumpa, for creating a character so endearing, that i'm inspired to be a rancid bitch to this hapless horny ho in boston. no, i'm not perfect. i know that. but i've got another "H" word for the bostonian: HITACHI. get a wibrator and learn how to use it. the bonds of marriage ought to be respected, or you shouldn't have commenced it in the first place.
...and *i'm* the one who gets bullshit for being single and 29? b/c i know that i'm not ready for marriage? ha. i repeat, HA. it's mighty good to feel right. ;)
{ props to mr. cosby for tossing this my way ;) }
Since I am still quite acquainted with the four hazelnut martinis I had last night/in the wee hours of the morning (wOOt, flog meetups!), I'll engage in the entirely futile exercise of trying to address this contemptuous query. Hey, why not...I can't sleep, I need to hydrate, and focusing on potential haterade (RIP Barmaid) distracts me from my pounding headache. Goooooo hangover! Yay!
IF I had any? That's kind. I don't know if you're a new reader or just randomly passing through, but I'll say this for the benefit of the former; longtime stalkers know that there is a lot I don't talk about (80%), so I wouldn't base any assumptions on merely what is read (20%).
At MY age? Even kinder.
I'm not sure what your sorority experience was like, and I'm genuinely sad that it obviously wasn't as meaningful for you, as evidenced by your...well, everything, but from moment one, we were told that this wasn't a four (or five) year commitment; this was a lifelong relationship. When we bought our pins, we were reminded that our daughters would be legacies, and they'd inherit whatever we chose.
That's why we regularly recognize people who've been DGs for 60, 70 years or more. At their age, from your not-at-all-judgmental perspective, shouldn't they get over it?
I mean, I know, I'm SO ancient at all at 32, but fuck...those women are almost 80!
There are women in my building who didn't realize that I am an alum, until they ran in to me in our elevator and asked where I got my anchor flip-flops or shirt and vise-versa. They are white, though, so perhaps it's different, and they're allowed to not be "over the whole thing".
I'm tempted to ask if you were in a panhellenic sorority or a newer, local, multicultural house...but then I remember my friend S, who was in a Desi sorority. She's not over it, either. If one did leave it in college, where you seem to think it belongs, then by definition, it wouldn't help you network professionally or academically-- which is what most Alums on the other side of sorority life enjoy. I wouldn't have had the internships, job offers or access to a certain Senator I've enjoyed over the years, if I were "over it".
Beyond all of that, which I now feel like I wasted my time explaining mostly because people who leave drive-by comments aren't interested in actual dialogue, may I ask, why do you care? Or more accurately, why do you care enough to be so negative about it: "never", "if you had any", "at your age", "get over"? And what does your postscript about being Desi have to do with it? Like I'd find it less or more obnoxious if that comment came from a white, black or purple person?
To each their own. I love DG and like any heart-equipped person would, I'm still nonplussed that Coulter and I are sisters, by any definition of the word.