A N N A J O H N ' S D I A R Y

If I were four years younger... ;)

Best sentence(s) in a Friendster Testimonial EVER:

Don’t let the Stochastic
Calculus textbooks fool you. This Indian
bastard can seduce, bring to orgasm,
and send packing any Long Island
Princess faster than she can blink her
press on eyelashes!

Written for this kid, who sounds like an absolute sweetheart:

But I'm wayyyy partial to Bengali boys, so I might be a bit biased (and when they're new yorkers too?  oooooh, chile!)

"dandy work"...i'm borrowing that

old, fat and wheatish but SOMEONE is still interested

:)

:+:

To:	- Natasha -
Date:	Fri Apr 29 15:14:00 2005
Subject:	Re: modeling for sapna
Message:	natasha, what a privilege to even be asked.  thank you.  :) unfortunately, i'm at home in CA for easter, or i would have gladly participated. great job on Sapna, btw! -anna - Natasha - wrote: hi anna if you would be interested in doing a photoshoot for sapna magazine, www.sapnamagazine.com, this coming Saturday afternoon and evening, please submit your head shot and full length shot. We would love for you to apply! We will be picking cover models by next Tuesday morning! Please call me at ------------ if you have any questions. Thank you Natasha

oh my.

Date:	Sunday, March 27, 2005 5:13:00 AM
Subject:	hi
Message:	hi hows the easter weekend going? saw your profile as i was talking to a friend and having had some bad experiences with women who have taken me for a ride i have thought twice about writing to you but i didnt want to judge u with them and so il say what i wanted to say which is you look very beautiful and i hope the outer beauty comes from deep inside anyway, wld be nice to get to know you more x

:+:

sigh.  this affected me more than the typical friendster message does.   but why?

why the discomfort?  why is my tummy in a teensy bit of a knot?  if i had to quiet myself and pay attention to what i am feeling, what churns inside is pity, sympathy, unease...and the kalamata olive bread i ate with spinach feta dip. 

eeek.

i'm just weirded out and i don't quite know why. this prickly sensation makes no sense when one considers that i've been getting Fster messages for almost two years now, so this isn't the first attempt at "getting to know" me that i've experienced.  i keep thinking i should be used to this.  then again, there's something extra blue about this though, i feel it.  a broken heart calls out from those carefully chosen words.  THAT's not common. 

i see that this guy joined just this month...maybe that's why his message reads the way it does.  here's hoping he figures out how it all works, i.e. leading with baggage isn't the best strategery for this sort of thing.  then again, that goes for more than Fster, innit?  i hope he finds the one who's meant for him.

fisking friendster: i'm sure that there will be more, once my head stops exploding

1. people who write "omg, i'm SUCH a bookworm...LOL" after listing two, count 'em, TWO titles under fave books.  you're a bibliophile who hates the majority of the tomes you've wormed through?  wha-?



2. right.  anyone who uses "LOL" mindlessly.  you laughed out loud while typing that you like bhangra?  why is that fact suffused with hilarity which splits your sides?  LOL?  would a smiling emoticon suffice?  please?



3. why must all testimonials commence with "what can i say about..."?  wtf?  i'll tell you what you can say, you can say whatever the bleeding hell you want without prefacing it with that quivering, doubt-tinged, rhetorical torture-device of ability-introspecting.  i think indians, especially mallus are ESPECIALLY guilty of this egregious crime against testimony.  prove me wrong on that one and i'll be grateful, not snarky. 
   
   in other news, if anyone commences a testimonial for me in that manner (with the exception of if it's done ironically), not only will their testimonial NOT be approved, they will be summarily deleted from my friend list.  thems the breaks, bitches.



4. though it doesn't vex me as much as what's above, commencing testimonials with "where do i start?" is also pointless and laaaaaaame.  don't. ask. just. start. 



5. stop using the word "fashionista".  it's almost like the word "classy", if you actually had to use it, you just negated it.

face it, you're short

Popular searches in my Friendster network

new hair styles
long hair styles
miss india texas
how to straighten your hair
facial hair removal
free ringtones
how to get taller
short hair styles
vampire name generator

.

can i get a collective WTF?

clueless and doomed flirtation via Fster

Milan wrote:

i went to http://anna.typepad.com/about.html and my taste in music is wayyy better than yours..

but yours is not bad..

heres some mistakes:

idioteque is on the kid A album.. (one of their finest albums)

this or that is wonderful song but you forgot to mention flavor of the month from that album...

bebel gilberto is great but what about the american version of bebel?.. like goapele and laurnea...

float on! ok that one is fine..

i'll stop.. i could go on but i think i pissed you off enough..

dont forget to email the pic without the box.. i can't stress that enough...

.

.

.

A N N A then wrote:

milan:

i know you feel very proud of yourself for "correcting" me, and you may choose not to believe what i'm about to share with you, but with TypePad, you merely input the song title you desire, and Amazon "decides" the rest in the link/thumbnail.

yes, they are usually wrong. the albums and songs don't match. the cover art is incorrect. blah, blah, blah. that's why i don't have the music list you are referring to on my two main blogs anymore; it sits on my most neglected "shopping" blog, and my about page.

which almost no one reads.

b/c the list of music i adore exhausts them.

so i rarely get "called out" on the discrepancies.

in any case, thanks for paying such close attention to everything. that was nice of you.

oh, and considering the fact that i'm never mailing anyone the picture sans box, i think it even more unlikely that i'd send it to someone who worked so hard to "piss (me) off".

good evening.

.

.

.

Milan wrote:

ooooook.

thanks for telling me to piss off. sorry if you thought i was being mean. my goal was not to "correct" you, but to let you know we have the same taste in music. i guess next time i'll cut through the chase and just say 'i like the same music as you'. thanks for letting me know that people on friendster don't really want to be friends. i hardly write to people on here but the one time i do i get dissed on.... great. i was actually excited when i saw that you wrote back.....

take care Anna.. you have great writting skills ..

i love you.

bye

he's just not that into you.

i logged on Fster and the following caught my eye:

Popular searches in my network

new hair styles
hmmm. i don't know if i'd trust the web with my hair.

punjabi matrimonial
nc.

how to hook up
if you need to ask... ;)

zodiac love match
oh my. if astrology is THAT important to you, i guess you should find someone who...shares that. so that they don't mock you incessantly. like i would.

indian chatroom
sigh.

does he like you
see: title of post.

one night stand
see: title of post.

do boys like short hair
no. or, do it and then read title of post. :D

the apprentice
k.

lexus rx330
it's a CAMRY! blech!

goddess bless Fster, provider of 1000 distractions...

you're all familiar with how this story begins.

boy sends me frienster message, i click on boy's profile to amuse myself, then i find something that i can't wait to show you. like someone on afore-typed-about-boy's friendster list. et voila:

somewhere, a department store make-up artist should be SHOT for committing such a massive injustice against this poor child, who is probably quite pretty under all that shtuff. have mercy. her fster profile is here. curiously intriguing aside: she's friendsters with furry chest guy. we really are just a few degrees apart, aren't we??

now if you'll excuse me, i'm going to ponder HoW tEenS wHo tYpe LiKe ThIs decide to have "arundhati" as a friendster. is it b/c the teen shares a common heritage with the author conservatives lowe to hate?

the girl who is inspiring this thought is a 17-year old malayalee girl who lists the following interests: "bOyz, drInkin', shOppin', dAncin', pImpin', n bOyz". also, under books she has listed: "cOzmo. n dAt coUntz ok? lolz. dOn reAd unlEss i hAv to"

eh, who am i to wonder? ;) under all that substance it's quite possible that she loves progressive activists and booker-winning prose. :D