A N N A J O H N ' S D I A R Y

Barbie shoes

Barbie shoes, originally uploaded by suitablegirl.

I severely injured my ankle almost exactly a year ago; I went from an ace bandage to a very awkward, heavy walking cast which consumed half of my leg. I was headed for surgery, and a very difficult recovery.  My mom started to plan a leave of absence from her job, so she could help and take care of me.  Yeah.  That bad.

At that point, I owned over 100 pairs of heels, all of which were immediately rendered useless. NB: it wasn't my heels which caused my injury. According to my doctor, because of a horrifying injury in my teens which never healed properly and a nasty kick to the ankle during that one summer I played soccer, my ankle was doomed to fail at some point, and it was amazing that I had made it to age 32 without it doing so.  Um...yay?

I used to live in my heels. And when I say heels, I mean 3.5-4 inch *heels*. I wore them every day. On the rare occasion that I wore flats, my friends asked if I was feeling all right. My much-loved shoes were as part of my visual or external identity as my penchant for skirts, long hair or my aversion to hosiery (I may prefer the right coast, but my legs don't give a shit for such quirks).

Liveblogging The 80th Academy Awards...

Jennnifer Garner-  my favorite look of the night.  Love it all.  Dress, makeup, hair, jewels.  She's flawless, even if she had to name-check that hag Rachel ZoH.

Amy Adams-  bravo for the super-dark-green color, which I couldn't see properly until she was on stage!  She seems really nice.

Cate Blanchett- luminous, but I don't think it's because of her makeup. :)  She's so beautiful, I'm not even noticing her halter dress.

Katherine Heigl-  not loving the color, but it's okay.  Dress seems fine.  Not her best look.  What is up with the circle-cut-out on the shoulder-trend?  Katherine and one other actress are both sporting this...

Ellen Page-  I like her hair.  She seems to prefer low-key dresses, which is refreshing compared to what other youngsters are sporting.  It works for her, this forgettable frock. ;)

Marion Cotillard-  Gaultier!  Oui, oui!  She is beautiful.  Her dress is art, and might be my favorite among all the super-pale choices of the night.  I keep thinking of koi ponds when I look at her.  You know, my mom used to do my hair like that...LOVE HER SPEECH!

Laura Linney-   lovely.  elegant.

Cameron Diaz-  I dislike the silhouette of this dress, the inverted tulip thing going on around the hips.  I think it's petal pink in color, which I like...and I dig the pleating, but that's about it.  She looks naked, b/c of the color, the lack of jewelry, the makeup...

Jessica Alba- the feathers are distracting!  I'm not in love with the color and I'm annoyed because her dress looks uneven, but not in an intentional, assymetrical way.  In kinder news, I think she might be the only one who could rock that hairstyle and not look stupid.

Kerri Russell- I'd get married in this dress, if it fit my chest better than it did hers.  What gives?  I'm so distracted by this, I can't appreciate what is obviously a pretty gown.

Renee Zellweger- has been working out.  From the back she looks so coke-bottle-shapely, it seems exaggerated...can't wait to see her dress, all I glimpsed was silver above the podium.  Her hair is fabulous, totally suits her face.  Okay just saw her back again, and she looks like someone I once knew from our water polo team.  We didn't have a female one. ;)

Nicole Kidman- I don't know if I like her in black, it almost seems too dark a choice for her ultra-paleness.  Also, her L'Wren Scott necklace isn't centered and thus, is looped over one of her breasts.  Not like I'd know what THAT problem is like...

Penelope Cruz-  eh.

Hillary Swank- I can't decide if I like this dress!  As she's walking on stage, I'm thinking, "not so much", but as they zoom in on her, I like it.  It suits her.  She looks more feminine than Renee did, despite both of them having no body fat...

Tilda Swinton- this might be the ugliest dress at the show.  WHY.

Helen Mirren- another apposite choice for her.  My brain keeps telling me that I should dislike the blinged out,  faux-shrug and type "without that, the dress would have been blockbuster, it's so unnecessary", but she looks good.  I love that red and I love the skirt of the gown.  She looks beautiful.

Diablo Cody-  I hate this dress, pacifically the slit.  And her hair...texture-wise, it reminds me of my own RIGHT after I dye it, it's rough and jagged, but not in a good way.  I like her makeup, though.  And her emotion. :)

Liveblogging the 50th Annual Grammy Awards

Alicia Keys- (outfit while presenting NOT red carpet)Alicia's breasts look as if they are being held hostage by her gown.  I think I once had a Nike sports bra with the same cut-out action in front.  I like the green, dislike the hair and wish the earrings were a little sparklier.  Make-up is exc.

Rihanna-  (outfit while interrupting Morris Day and The Time NOT red carpet) Sigh. The bondage shit is getting old...the hair reminds me of when I was younger than the Barbados-born-beauty herself, though.  Summoning memories of Grace Jones.  Then again, her face is so beautiful, who notices her bizarre grey dress.

Fergie-  (again, while performing, with John Legend) What an awful color...and it looks shapeless at first glance.  Okay, maybe it has an excessively-draped thing going on...but I'm not a fan of the cape/fringe/back.  Ugh. Not g-l-a-m-o-r-o-u-s. (Just caught up with Fergie's red carpet look and I can't stop looking at her cleavage, which seems way too...vertical.  Also, her elbows look old.  How is that possible?!)

I wonder if Miley's hair is real or Indian?  They need to let that child grow up for two years, she's so nervous she can't speak.

Cyndi- is so sacred I shan't blog a thing.  I bow.  I bow.  I remember when GJWHF came out and I feel blessed because of it.

Cher's dress is as deconstructed as she is meticulously constructed.

Beyonce-  (note: while doing that FANTASTIC introduction for Tina Turner/while performing "Proud Mary") Now, finally, a dress I like.  Beyonce rarely disappoints.  I don't always like what she does, like some of her hard-core acolytes naturally would, but more often than not, this girl has me nodding approvingly.  I like her meaty-by-Hollywood-standards thighs.  Hell, I'll vote her best-dressed for showing real legs on stage.  Has she cut her hair?