Liveblogging McCain's BIG SPEECH

Intro video-- the cut-in where McCain's Mother gleefully interjects, "Mama's boy"...AWKWARD.

"the fire burned for 13 hours...134 men lost their lives. John McCain's life was somehow spared...perhaps he had more to do..."  Sorry, who's the messiah-candidate again?

Choosing to spend four more years in hell (when he had the chance to be released) is pretty bad-ass...

What, no mention of the ditched first wife? ;)

I don't like this announcer's voice.  He's ruining the video for me.

WHOA!  Bridget debuts.  Great shot of Cindy in orphanage with baby who may or may not be bridge...such sweetness almost makes you forget yesterday's $300k outfit. ;)

The end of that intro was more creepy than dramatic, IMO.

I wonder if these people paint signs on their own or if they're "manufactured".  Handwriting looks remarkably similar on them...

YAY!  Cindy McCain is wearing a color that doesn't make my tummy or retinas hurt!  GO BLUE!

What is up with the fluorescent green backdrop?  And right after I forgot about Cindy's suit from last night!  Oy, I jinxed it.

John.  I know you're old and hard-core, but if you're going to be defiantly "real" and keep your teeth yellow, DON'T WEAR A YELLOW TIE.

"McCAIN VOTES AGAINST VETS!" -sign of protester getting dragged out, whose shirt says "Iraq Vets Against the War" or similar?  USMC tattoo clearly visible.

Yes, I'm sure Dubya is EXACTLY why there wasn't a second 9/11.

He has SEVEN children?! It's like the family Von Trapp! 

"In truth, she (wife Cindy) is more my inspiration than I am hers..."

Did Cindy get extensions in her hair (bamboo earrings, at least two pair...oh, wait, that's not her steeze, yo)?

McCain's Mamma has some massive blue bling on them 96-year old ears.

I'm already bored...Obama and even Palin were more exciting.

Directed to Bharat Obama: "We are fellow Americans.  And that's an association that means more to me, than any other."  Nice. (Obligatory) classy touch.

I feel like if you dangled one of those cat toys in front of this crowd, they'd leap to their feet, like a throng of addled kittens.  I mean, if they're going to react like this...over...this...

Lady screaming "End the war" is drowned out by "USA!"-chants. Sounds...ugly.  Is that a second woman, in a pro-choice tank?

"My friends...my dear friends...please, please don't be diverted by the brown noise and the static...heh heh heh..."  Okay, I officially hate you a little bit, John.  Straight talk, my callipygian rondure.

Yes, keep screaming, 'til you idiots drown out the bitter truth. This speech is a clusterfuck.  That's a military term, by the way. Since we're dropping those liberally, I mean, conservatively.

Great nude lip on Sarah Palin.  Oh, and about that budget balancing...didn't she leave that town of hers millions of dollars in the hole?  THAT'S balance?

"She's worked with her hands and nose..."  Me: wtf?  Ohhhh....hands and KNOWS.  :D

Bridget looks SO MUCH BETTER in green than the black or red outfits I've seen her in.

Wow, contrast betwixt McCain's old yellow teeth and Sarah Palin's white chicklets...brutal.

"I can't WAIT to introduce her (Palin) to Washington..."  Wild applause.  Bring it, biznatch.  I'm here, no fear, GET USED TO IT!

"I don't work for party/myself/special interest...I work for you..."  Once upon a time, maybe.  I'm almost offended that he dropped the M-bomb.

I'm kinda hoping for more protesting...

You know why fighting for that specific strategery and troop surge wasn't popular, John?  BECAUSE IT WAS WRONG.

Shout-out to my sister's boss (Petraeus).

I'm sick of this "I'd rather lose an election than have my country lose a war" bullshit.  How 'bout, I'd rather keep my integrity than suck up to this asshat Dubya, fuck it if I can't run in 2008?"

Farmington Hills, Michigan?  Really?  I heard that's where rich people live...so...are you shouting out condo-flippers and housing speculators ("lost their real estate investments")?  Because that's so appropriate with what's going on right now...way to keep it real...real greedy.

You know, (and this is bipartisan bitching) I'm sick of the name-checking of "average" Americans in political speeches.  We get it.  You're able to read a teleprompter and your interns are good at digging up sympathetic-sounding crap.

"We lost the trust of the American people, when SOME republicans gave in to the temptations of corruption...we lost their trust, when rather than reform govt, both parties made it bigger, WLTT when instead of freeing ourselves from a dangerous dependence on foreign oil both parties, and Senator Obama passed another corp welfare bill for oil companies.  WLTT when we valued our power our principles.  We're going to change that."  <---- I guess that's the meat of the speech?  I'm vegetarian.

Panda: "I'm bored."

"The party of Lincoln, Roosevelt and Reagan...is going to get back to basics."  Two out of three ain't bad.

If he's not a great speaker, how 'bout you not let him speech for so long?

"A culture of LIFE."  Hmmm.  My vag has something to say about that...

"We believe in the values of families, neighborhoods and communities..."  Unlike those eeeevil Dems who believe in gay marriage, eeleeet city livin' and bowling alone.  Got it!

"My health care/tax/govt spending..."  BOOOO!  And by "Boo", I'm not joining in the chant, I'm booing this SHITTY SPEECH.

They had the temerity to make fun of styro-columns as a backdrop in Denver?  With this second-rate, amateur shit up their sleeve?  When is he going to tell us where Tropical Storm Hanna might touch down, and mention doppler radar, like a good weather person in front of a blue screen should?

Did I hear an entitlement program being mentioned?

"Education is the civil rights issue of this century."  HA!  They cut to the INDIAN GUY!  Of course, during "education". ;)  That's all we do.  Study and shit.

I waaaaaant thiiiiiiis speeeeech tooooooo beeeeee OOOO VVVV EEEE RRRR.

My fellow Americans, when I am president, I am going to outlaw terrible headbands which look like antennae...

"WE'LL DRILL THEM NOW!"  What is this, the Kappa Sig house, pre-partying before the first mixer of the year?

Is it just me, or did he look uncomfortable while saying "electric car" and "hybrid"?  :)

"We have dealt a serious blow to Al-Qaeda..."  Right.  By fighting a war in the wrong country and NOT nailing the asshole who masterminded the attack on the WTC. If that's a serious blow, then I've rained a serious blow on my student loans, by buying shoes.

Wait, where's the Beach Boys mutation?  I just heard "Iran".

The bit which started off slowly with the anecdote from when he was five and hearing about Pearl Harbor, which touched on Vietnam and his powerful military experience, which culminated in "...to build a stable and enduring peace" was the best part of his speech.  Too bad I'm half-dead from boredom and can't...find...energy...to...rewind...and...transcribe.

I can haz bed now?  Plz?  No?  Dam.

Why is that girl with the yellow eye-shadow and hat crying?  Is there an excessively-mascara'd lash stuck in her eye?  I HATE it when that happens.  Hurts like a...McCain speech.

Hearing him discuss "first in, first out" and how he wouldn't accept release-in-Vietnam-as-a-PR-ploy, hearing about the greatest struggle and triumph of his life...even that heroic story doesn't move me, I'm so numb at this point. That's too bad.  A speech-writer should be FIRED, for allowing this to occur.  You can make Sarah Palin sound witty but a genuine hero with a ridiculously good backstory falls flat?  SHAME ON YOU.

Panda: *doing dishes*

Me:  *looking longingly at kitchen, bc that seems more fun than this*

Are they even paying attention at this point?  "FIGHT!  STAND UP!  NEVER GIVE UP!"  I think they're just screaming for no reason, now.  Perhaps they think they're at Oprah's "Free Shit Which I, The Oprah, Enjoy"-show?

OMG, I think it's over...praise that community organizer Jesus.

Comments

[Stacy]

what's with the wacky green screen behind McCain? time for another Colbert green screen challenge!

[Maurice Reeves]

Funny he didn't mention:

"We believe a woman's body is not her own to make decisions about. We believe that gays don't deserve equal rights under law. We believe that while it's wrong for men to drill each other, we're going to drill every inch of Mother Earth till we bleed her dry. We believe that what you say on the phone and the internet is important for us to listen to because your auntie might bake a cake for Bin Laden."

That'd be some real straight talk.

[kal]

I just saw a kid yawning..

[kal]

I just saw someone pick their nose :)

[avs]

why does he keep fluttering his eyelashes

[pied piper]

10:50 PM ... TPM Reader PT: "What are the odds Governor Palin drops McCain from the ticket? After a performance like this, it's a serious question."

[A N N A]

Thanks, PP. ;)

[avs]

sometimes, issues are a good thing. so can we get back to them? your bio is getting boring.

and anointed? sheesh. it's the second coming!

[Sunu]

"I'm sick of this "I'd rather lose an election than have my country lose a war" bullshit. How 'bout, I'd rather keep my integrity than suck up to this asshat Dubya, fuck it if I can't run in 2008?""

THANK YOU.

""The party of Lincoln, Roosevelt and Reagan...is going to get back to basics." Two out of three ain't bad."

He must be referring to Teddy BEFORE he left it and created a more progressive Bull Moose Party. And the party of Lincoln? Yeah, don't get me started on that.

[sunu]

"They had the temerity to make fun of styro-columns as a backdrop in Denver? With this second-rate, amateur shit up their sleeve? When is he going to tell us where Tropical Storm Hanna might touch down, and mention doppler radar, like a good weather person in front of a blue screen should?"

OMG I should not be reading this while at the library. I was THIS close to snorting.

[avs]

They are actually playing barracuda! with fake fireworks in the back on their projector screen! HAHAHAHAHAH

[turbanhead]

When does Ryan Seacrest come on and tell me what number to call for Obama or McCain?

[Sarah]

I can't wait to see what Stephen Colbert does with all that blue screen footage.

[kalavati]

What about the intro where it was said America's people are unique in that they are patriotic even at the expense of this, that, work, self, yada, yada, but the word "family" was conspicuous by it's absensce. That is touchy, few Americans would be country before beloved family.

Or religion.

Don't know why it's said that Palin is going to "shake up" White House, either. Shake it up how?

Do VPs have the power to shake up anything to beginwith?

[Lateef]

Your 'coverage' is so funny...

Also funny is that the band Heart claims they were never contacted for permission to use 'Baracuda' as Palin's entrance song...they're upset but isn't a 'cease and desist' kinda late?

http://www.monstersandcritics.com/people/news/article_1429073.php/Barracuda!_Hearts_Ann_and_Nancy_Wilsons_Palin_cease_and_desist

JOHN McCain IS MY HERO I WISH HE WON I WOULD BE THE HAPPIEST GIRL ON THE PLANET SINCE OBMAMA WON NOW I AM THE SADEST GIRL ON THE PLANET WELL HOPE U RUN IN FOUR YEARS U R MY HERO

DESTINY