february 15

weight: 123
bodyfat: 20

kcal: :(
vasa: :(

gym: ankle
write: yes
dog: no, ankle. that and i hate her.

i'm so tired and achey. i couldn't even muster the energy to make dinner. i woke up to a neighbour pounding on my door-- she was holding my **&*^%^$!@%+ dog by the collar. rani escaped. again. she was gone for a few hours, apparently, running aimlessly up and down the street. "i thought she looked familiar, so i checked with the other two families that have german shepherds...they said they still have their dogs. so i thought he must be yours."

no matter how clearly i said "she" or "her", i.e. "thank you SO much for bringing her home, she's so naughty!" the neighbour kept saying "he." sigh. the neighbour had a corgi. that alone made her look strange. this small beady-eyed fluffball kept looking up at her in the oddest way. meanwhile my worthless dog was looking mighty pleased with herself. i was livid.

i don't know how she escaped since she was locked in, but let me tell you, there is NOTHING more that i wish to do on a sunday than repair fences and muck about in the back-fucking-yard when MY ANKLE IS HURT. she wasn't even sad or repentant! i took mom's glove and bopped her gently on the nose-- i said "bad doggy! bad, bad rani! i am SO disappointed in you. you know you aren't allowed out without me!" she took one look at me and then had the nerve to pick up her right paw and smack the back of my hand with it twice...almost a "there, there...you are useless. do not worry about it." then she grinned at me.

i told her she was grounded and i gated the back garden-- no more taking a dump on mom's prized roses for YOU, you BITCH. that effectively cut her play space in half...but don't feel sorry for her. we have the largest backyard in the neighbourhood. it's why we bought the damned house. when i tried to scold her again, she wobbled a bit on her feet, rolled over on her side and threw her paw melodramatically across
her face. drama queen! she pulled out every trick in the book. she tried to shake my hand with each paw. she flattened her ears. gave me puppy dog eyes.

and i fucking crumbled.

i just shook my head and went in. and then after an hour, i fed her bacon. but *i* got the last laugh. it was veggie bacon. rani, you got all excited for SOY. HA! take that you houdini-wannabe.

between dealing with all of that and going to costco to gas the civ, pick up freshly baked bread and some milk (vitamin D! the first time WHOLE MILK has been purchased in this house in a few years. i just started to feel like putting half and half in my cereal was egregious. but damn it's good.), i was exhausted. my ankle was throbbing despite the 800 mg motrins i was snorting. i came back home, unloaded the car and tried to convince myself that i should go do arms at the gym. ankle is already fucked, so no use "resting" now. that and you don't use your ankle for bis and tris.

i didn't go. i started watching extreme home makeover on ABC and i was hooked. the product placement was the best i've ever seen-- it didn't even hit me until now that the reason why this week's family went to disneyworld is b/c disney owns abc. wow. i was just excited for the three little kids, b/c they were going to the happiest place on earth. it was so sweet. i got teary-eyed at least three times, but that's okay, so did the half-queer design team. you see, the daddy in this story had been in iraq for ten months. and abc brought him home for this show, to surprise his family. how can you NOT get verklempt at that? also, since all three little boys are in little league, they got the dodgers ground crew to create a mini-ballpark in the backyard...exactly 1/7 scale. that house looked amazing when they were done. i was especially in love with the boys bathroom...they turned it in to a working carwash (pipes raining down water and foamy soap, installed in the ceiling!!! a lit sign that said "wash in progress!") with pedestal sinks. i want that bathroom. it just looked so FUN.

i should've ate something at this point but i was truly not feeling well.

i don't know where the last few hours went, but i didn't achieve my goal of putting new content on all four pieces of anna-land...the flog, arguably the most popular element, remains untouched. it's just so much work...it takes me quite a while to put captions together and collage pics...that and i'm on dial-up so it takes forever. i got weary just thinking about it. but what's in my purse and HERSTORY both have new stuff. three out of four sites with new content ain't bad...

i got to talk to my mommy today...it was AWESOME. i called her about two hours ago. she was so giddy.
"guess where i am, latha?"

i don't know mummy...delhi?

"i'm standing in front of the taj."

i started screaming. no fucking way! take pictures! that's amazing! she was so happy...but she was also worried about me. i told her i wasn't eating as much.

"when you find a job, your appetite will come back. it always does. just try to eat a little bit every day."

sigh. i have to force it, but i will.

"what else is going on?"

rani ran away. AGAIN!

mummy laughed. "don't worry about it. just let her go. she'll learn her lesson. she knows better. you know that she's looking for me, right?"

yeah. i figured.

"lock her up in the dog run. take away her play privileges-- if you keep her in there she'll miss the lawn and the patio and she'll behave. you shouldn't be dealing with that with your ankle. don't go looking for her if she pulls this again, you promise me? she knows her way home. don't worry about her."

i don't know...but all right.

"have you talked to any boys?"

sure. um. i guess. i'm not exactly trying. but i got a message from a catholic boy in nyc who went to cornell--

"not one of THOSE again! stop it! we're not going down THAT road. is he an engineer too?!"

no. he's not. but we chatted online once or twice.

"good. you should just be open to things, that's all i ask. until someone puts a ring on your finger, you are single."

uh, okay. WHATEVER.

"any others?"

um. truthfully, i spoke to two malayalee boys last week. both are catholic. i also got an email from some marthoma kid in nyc. (all true! i spoke to two on AIM and got an email via browndating. i'm not lying if i omit that i'm just friends with all three. whatever your parents need to hear, to keep them happy...)

"that's excellent! see, you're trying. that's all anyone here wants to hear."

no. they want to hear wedding bells. and i'm tone deaf.

"what else?"

hmmm. i can't find my registration sticker for the civic.

"it's there. look through my office. i know i paid for it. tell me what else you're doing."

uh. um. hmmm. oh! i fasted on friday. and the friday before.

"good girl! i'm proud of you. i'm so pleased that you did what i asked."

right. i neglected to tell her that it's easy to fast when YOU HAVE NO APPETITE. thank goodness she didn't make the connection.

"oh! what do you want from delhi?"

clothes. bindis. bangles. loads of bindis. you can never have enough. you know me, just buy anything that you think i'd like.

"what kind of bangles?"

oh the coloured fun kind...and make sure they fit, my wrists are tiny now. i just want an alternative to gold. so something that goes with my indian clothes...you know my colours. i'm ALWAYS wearing gold. don't you think costume jewelry would be fun?

"yes. i still haven't found a lengha i like for you. they're all...long."

the top? oh. well, if it's pretty, i guess that's fine. whatever, mummy.

"no, i like the one karan bought you from delhi. i like your first one too. both of those have cropped tops."

true. i prefer them short as well. 'specially now that i'm scrawny. but if it's not in style you won't find it. i have no idea how this stuff works. i don't even remember what boutique he went to in delhi. just don't worry about it. you could bring me twenty packages of bindis and i'll be blissed. i'm all out of them.

"another pashmina?"

um...i think i'm good. i'm awfully enamoured with my original.

"that's five years old. it's abused. you carry it around like that kid on the charlie brown cartoon."

whatEVER. i don't need one, thanks. and i do NOT schlep it around like i'm linus.

"okay, i have to go...but be good. eat something. try and be well."

i miss you mummy. and i love you. have fun.

"i miss you so much! and i love you. this is uncle's mobile number, so save it if you need me. okay? good-bye..."

Comments

[VJ]

Well you sure know how to blog. btw, I guess being a gym freak really pays off!