A N N A J O H N ' S D I A R Y

another one bites the dust

An unexpected catholic: hi there!
disappointed me: hello
An unexpected catholic: HI HI HI!!!
disappointed me: my, someone's in a great mood
An unexpected catholic: happy to see you online.
disappointed me: it happens, once in a while
An unexpected catholic: yea? is that true? why are you in a crappy mood?
disappointed me: i'm not, actually

disappointed me: i just refrain from using emoticons around you. seems inapposite
An unexpected catholic: why thank you. that's a courtesy not often given.
disappointed me: how's your weekend? i am known for giving rare gifts.
An unexpected catholic: I detest the emoticons, as I'm sure you read in my blog. Glad to know you paid attention.
An unexpected catholic: weekend is good. I went to a BBQ.
An unexpected catholic: I was the only white guy there. everyone was black.
disappointed me: really
An unexpected catholic: yay.

disappointed me: do you like BBQ?
An unexpected catholic: I do.
disappointed me: i do not. but that's common for herbivores.
An unexpected catholic: indeed.
An unexpected catholic: no soy burgers?
disappointed me: gardenburgers are lovely, but they have to be on a vegetarian grill or there's no point
An unexpected catholic: I was unaware of your herbivorous nature.
disappointed me: since conception.
An unexpected catholic: vegetarian grill.. hmmm.... suddenly I feel ignorant.
disappointed me: my mother's pregnancy was fueled by grapes and strawberry ice cream. apparently i revolted at anything else
disappointed me: well, if you have a regular grill that just had a steak and burgers on it and then you put my little gardenburger on, i'm going to get sick

An unexpected catholic: perhaps a subject change is in order. I'm starting to feel hostile about this topic.
disappointed me: why?
disappointed me: hostility is fun. i revel in mine. i wouldn't love nyc if i didn't.
An unexpected catholic: I feel aggression toward vegetarians.
disappointed me: really!!! now i'm INTRIGUED! please tell me more
An unexpected catholic: My father was a carnivour. He was a proud, strong, German. Big strong arms, full strong chest. Tough. He chose to give up meat a few years ago. and now his digestive system cannot tolerate anything other than garden burgers and soy beans.
An unexpected catholic: he gets sick from "beef broth"
disappointed me: and this is bad?
An unexpected catholic: he gets sick from the "smell of meat"
disappointed me: i get sick from the smell as well and if they make my soup from chicken broth etc

An unexpected catholic: Yea, he's lost a ton of weight, looks patheticly thin. He's turned into a complete ... for lack of a better word... a complete pussy.
disappointed me: i am a strict vegetarian.
disappointed me: i have a pussy.
disappointed me: i am NOT, however a pussy.
An unexpected catholic: well, two thumbs up for you then.
disappointed me: nor have i ever been referred to as one.
disappointed me: i'm always fascinated when life-long meat-eaters stop
disappointed me: seems odd to me since most of my omnivorous friends have me convinced that once you love the taste of something, it's impossible to give up, and that's why they won't ever be veg etc
An unexpected catholic: your boyfriend also a veg?
disappointed me: yes. spontaneously. on our 2nd date.
An unexpected catholic: I used to date a food nazi. The reason we broke up was because of her impossible eating habits.
disappointed me: define: food nazi
An unexpected catholic: food nazi = vegetarian.

may 27

weight: 131
bodyfat: -

kcal: :)
vasa: :)

gym: REST (asthma attack :( and i'm sore as shit after 2 hours of sleep)

write: :)
read: in full bloom ...i LOVE it!

last type of cheese consumed: none.

i 'mell like: lavendar and jasmine.

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sad, horrible things first. :(

i'm militant about how parents today are solid fuck-ups w/regards to how they are destroying my children's future playmates and competitors...they don't believe in saying "no" or discipline of any kind. while i usually rant about such things b/c i'm disgusted by a child's respect-free demeanor or behaviour at church...the inability to deny your offspring or teach them about boundaries has other unbelievably tragic effects, as proven here. i'm just shaking my head. for those of you who didn't click, the article is about a 3-year old toddler who DIED of OBESITY.

"Heart failure, caused by obesity, has killed a child aged just three, it has been revealed...Specialists...have also seen four children "choked by their fat" who need breathing assistance to treat sleep disorders caused by blocked airways. The Commons Health Committee warned that obese children could become the first generation to die before their parents."

*shudder* that caught my attention well enough...but upon skimming the page, when i saw another detail about the dead baby, i came to an immediate, screeching halt:

"The Daily Mail reported that the three-year-old who died of heart failure was a Bengali girl from east London who should have weighed around 2st 4lb (14.5kg), but instead had a Body Mass Index (BMI) which equated to around 6st (38kg)...Dr Nigel Meadows, a consultant paediatrician at the Royal London Hospital, told the newspaper: "It was a shocking case. You don't imagine your kid is just going to die of obesity. The parents were devastated. Some may say the parents are responsible, but if a child is demanding food it can be very difficult to refuse it."

are you kidding me? how are the parents NOT at fucking fault??? that baby didn't get fat all by herself. even as i'm outraged, i'd be a liar if i didn't admit to another set of feelings; i want to come up with so many excuses for these poor, tortured souls. yeah, i've already called myself out on my own self-interests...if they weren't indian i'd waste little time in aiming scathing invective their way...it'd be 90% rage, 10% pity...but they are brown and worse, they're BONG...so it's suddenly 70/30. :( ah, weep.

not only am i a part of "malayalee" on Fster, i'm part of "bengali ek", too. i'm often accused of a ridiculous affinity for punjab and all things that originated in it...which i won't deny...but my DNA is practically coded with bong-love. after all, my first cousin neta-ji's real name IS subash. i always called it kolkota. the chatterjees owned my heart in a way the mehras never could. and i am forever insisting that "s" is really "sh".

sigh.

do they use "bengali" interchangably for "bangladeshi" at the beeb? if so, are these people who had perhaps experienced famine or hardship, and is THAT why they couldn't say no to their whimpering baby? i'm REACHING, here. didn't they somehow know that they were killing her? i want to just heave with sobs at this situation. it's simply awful. just like my inability to have a suitable amount of compassion for a set of parents until i knew that they shared blood with my idol, tagore. i suck, but they suck worse. they aren't off the hook just b/c they're brown, but they did torture me for about 10x longer because they were...another chip at the model minority myth, and a family paid for it, with tragedy. :(

i don't think i can write, after that.

concomitant joy and smirking amusement

omg, i cannot possibly concoct shit like this to entertain me...nor can i scrape the smug hater-eating grin off my fucking face. SUCK IT, mallu-boy haters. i found the boy of my dreams, and he rocks my bleeding world! so long, brown dating drama and disappointment; just as i had suspected all along, my belowed was out there and HE found ME.

oh yes, note to self: must delete or otherwise neutralise "dime" like i did with "suitablegirl", so that these wanna-be sarcastic fucks know that hunting season for this bird is OVER. yay!!! :D

IndianDating.com Contact Message: ---------------------------------------------------------

FROM : funnyguy@nypd.com
TO : Your profile: "dime"
SUBJECT : you have the greatest profile i have ever seen
ATTACHED PHOTO: None

hey,

the names ________,i'm 28, live and work as a cop in NYC i printed your profile because i have implemented it into my daily planner in life and made wallet-sized verions just to keep me on my toes. when i respond to domestic disturbances i advise the paternal side of possibilities and remedies via your
profile. i wish could say check out my profile, but although i am a grammer and spelling champion (all state in NY and CT) i failed miserably in your......:possibly all catagories. who cares i write back because i cant imagine any guy who would write to you.

let me know of any updates or revisions to your profile so that i may make the appropriate changes to my pda, desktop, laptop, fridge, locker door, and the tattoo on my chest.

thanx
__________

so sorry if the lack of caps and proper punctuation made your blood boil...have a nice day.

You can view their profile at:
http://www.IndianDating.com/profiles/view_profile.cfm?i=&pid=185221

may 26

weight: 132
bodyfat: ?

kcal: :)
vasa: :)

gym: REST

write: :)
read: a short short by mimosa j

last type of cheese consumed: string x 2

i 'mell like: i stink. figuratively, of course.

nothing like having insomnia and then thinking, "oh, i'll be POSITIVE and avail myself of this rare opportunity when EVERYONE is asleep, right-coast-types included, and look for jobs sans interruption!" ha.

again i say, ha. if me at 3:30am could speak to me at 12:30am, i'd tell her not to fucking bother. what a horrific waste. 461 jobs found after an advanced search, each pored over carefully, for a final list of FIVE, all of which SUCK, no wait, TEABAG. i should've obeyed my lesser, more flakey impulses and taken a steamy shower complete with exfoliating salt scrub. i should've watched a Sex and THE City deeweedee. or wrote something even, perhaps the end to this story.

then again, i easily argued against myself re: that option for killing time, by brutally reminding myself that all of four of you have read it, and only two of you have commented.

ugh.

my worst "real post" yet then, i think. fickle unwashed fucking masses who give my blog 300-500 hits a day...ONLY when i weep and splay myself over my dead father's grave, with much gnashing of teeth and rending of my already skimpy garments do you comment, do you praise, do you love. bah. where would i be without my sinner saint and mimosa, the girl whose writing is so exquisite that she makes me weep at my indisputable shittiness as a scribe in unjust comparison.

i'm in a STELLAR mood tonight, minnows. >:(

i want a drink SO FUCKING BADLY but i cannot have one. do you know why? b/c i'm on FUCKING SOUTH BEACH that's why. i do believe that the lack of carbohydrates in my diet over the last 48 hours has turned me in to a lunatic BITCH. eek gad it epiphanies all over me...is my addiction to sugar THIS sinister? this powerful? THAT is the ONE thing i haven't had in 48 hours and i'm FUCKING MISERABLE.

ice cream, what i would do for silky pista kulfi sliding across my tongue, caressing my mouth with cool jade sweetness. AAAAAAAAAACCCK. i want the fresh strawberries that are rotting as i type, the mango that will no longer be sour, hell no longer be AROUND in two weeks when i'm FINALLY allowed to have fruit again, post-detox...i want it all. oh heavens, do not remind me that PASTA sits in this deity-forsaken abode. linguini, sublime food-as-toy singing to me from the pantry..."come, anna darling...four minutes of a salted spa inside a calphalon pot and we will twirl joyfully around your fork, drip rich, blood-red marinara in to your eager pasta-vampire mouth, sate your very fucking soul." :(

feed me, someone. even i can't stand me now. this SUCKS! why was this so easy last time??? i suffered NONE of this carb/sugar-angst and lost eleven fucking pounds! answer me, universe, WHY???? and...silence. sigh. all that remains is to to go to bed and dream miserable fucking carbohydrate-saturated, wine-marinated, ice-cream-dominated dreams. IF i can sleep. gah!

and i thought i had ridiculous knickers...

i'm almost certain that by the time some of you see this, it'll be corrected...but...just in case the good people at amazon DO suck... look. sent to me by one of the people who inspired ME to blog...my achachan. i love it when he taxes my away msg with shtuff like this! :)

BLOGLET SHOULD BE WORKING!

i checked in with bloglet and everything should be working perfectly again :)

what's bloglet?

it's the little box to the lower right that asks for your email addy (not for spam!) so that it can update you as soon as i post. i know a few of you (okay, one: little nikki.) were irked that it stopped working ;) and i'm sorry. thanks for your patience with this! and btw, if you haven't subscribed yet, why the heck not?? ;)

ah, i can guess-- you like visiting the blog every single day just to see if i posted, b/c then you can click on one of the neat-o google ads and make me some change. :) and literally, it's change. they're sooooo annoying about pay outs-- you have to rack up $100 before they send you a check. i think i'm at all of $20. sigh. so much for THAT get-rich-quick-scheme... ;)

may 25

weight: 132
bodyfat: 22

kcal: :)
vasa: :)

gym: o ye haters... i WENT! one HOUR of kickboxing, torture abs and quads/hams/calves. 70lbs each

write: :)
read: "Eats, Shoots & Leaves"

last type of cheese consumed: none, but i should've, it's the first day of SB

i 'mell like: lavendar baby oil, hair conditioner and jasmine

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go me!!! though my allergies are slaying me, i went to the gym for the first time in 40 days.

eh, it's not as dramatic as that sounds...if we consider 15 days of severe bronchitis, over 10 days w/the bf...then there were only two weeks where i could've gone, that i didn't. anyway.

it felt soooo yummy to be there again. oh my, i almost forgot...what am i typing, today wasn't my first day back...i went last night! i wanted to be able to start my week off properly, so last night i went at 11pm (they close at midnight) and did arms and abs. i was really proud of myself for going, so i knew that would carry over and inspire me to make the kickboxing class today...and i did. it wasn't easy...i'm still coughing, so i was sucking on all the Hall's extra strength lozenges i could find in the civic.

my lung capacity is shit, so intense cardio like that was a ridiculous challenge...but i did it. there were moments when i just stopped to breathe. and then i jumped back in. i was really pleased with how limber i still was, and how by the end of class, i was keeping up w/the "intermediate" kids. feeling smug, i walked out of class at 5:30pm and decided to do legs. guess what? i did them at the same weight that i stopped doing them at!! i actually set the weight at 50, to take it easy on myself but it wasn't effective at ALL...60...still easy...i was astonished that i needed 70 to feel it. one solid year of working out, and even a month away from my prrrecious gym couldn't erode all of my progress. i don't look as svelte as i did a few months ago, but i'm still as fierce, and that almost means more...the lines will come back, the fire never left. :)

enough gym talk. i don't think i can help it, b/c i'm all healthy today! commenced south beach, now that i'm off antibiotics and am no longer really suffering. this time i can do it, b/c moms agreed that i was well enough to, and that's how i knew she wouldn't sabotage me. she was actually being SO supportive, she asked me to meet her at costco yesterday so that i could put the SB-stamp of approval on all the shtuff in her cart. she might do it too, in a few days. me? i don't have that luxury. two weeks from now, i'll be on the right coast! if i go through "sugar detox" now, i'll have way more will-power during a trip that will be full of rich food and good restaurants. (the first phase of SB takes two weeks)

anyway.

i can't believe what a good girl i'm being today. low carbs, no sugar, and i'm actually going to get in bed when i'm done posting this. i'm really tired. forgot how satisfying that gym-induced exhaustion can be... :)
i really can't get over how far i've come-- i started going to the gym in april of 2003, in preparation for soccer, which commenced at the end of june. i never played sports in h.s. or college, and i wanted to be stronger in time for that...my first sport! this means that for 12 months, i actually used my gym membership! for those of you who knew me in DC, i KNOW, i'm floored, too. you see, in DC, Bally's suckered me in to a shitty multi-year contract...mine lasted 3 years. guess how many times i went in over a 1000 days?

guess!

.
.
.
.
.

eleven times!

yeah, you read right. three fucking years and i didn't even go once a season. unfuckingbelievable. to go from THAT, to THIS...all i can do is sit here and be really thrilled w/myself. i don't come from athletic parents, and my mom constantly hated on me for this; "that membership costs too much!", "you hardly go!" (b/c i went 4x one week instead of the six i had been), "if you walk the dog, it's the same thing", "it's not worth it", etcetera...so NOT paying attention to her negative tape was more of a struggle than most of you probably realised. what made me strong enough? vanity. :D i wanted to be purty. and have calves.

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confidential to DG: i hope it went well :) i was thinking about you!

from the O.C. to BC...

all right gentle readers...

two little girls whom i adore like little sisters have housing bulletins in friendster...i thought i'd help them out and let a few of you know via "diary", too. i know that SEVERAL of you losers refuse to participate in my fave research tool ever-- the mighty F, but who knows, you may know trustworthy people blah blah blah. again, i'll be screening your ass, so random strangers aren't what i'm looking for here.

spank you, drive through,

anna :D

Hey Latha,

Do you have any friends in Orange County looking for a roommate?? :) I just got transferred to
orange county so I'm going to move on Aug 1st, when my lease is up july 31st in LA.

Thanks!

~S

.............................

meanwhile, 3,000 miles away:

.............................

1 room - nice, spacious - available in 5-bedroom house - 5 MINUTE WALK TO GREEN LINE - cheap rent -

you also get:
- laundry,
- free parking,
- high speed internet,
- cable, etc.

live with 4 other law and MBA students -all friendly and responsible. female grad student preferred. sorry no pets allowed. looking for someone to take over the lease as of 9/1, but THIS IS AVAILABLE AS EARLY AS JULY 1.

your wish is my command, saji-chachan ;)

when my FAVOURITE cousin sends me his first friendster message in eight months, i fucking listen. or read. vatewer. the picture saj objected to is gone. :D

may 20

weight: 131
bodyfat: 22

kcal: :)
vasa: :)

gym: not even possible, with THESE lungs

write: :)
read: JUST COMMENCED "Eats, Shoots & Leaves"

NEWEST CONTENT: flog, go VOTE.
music: the smiths, "please, please, please let me get what i want"

last type of cheese consumed: NONE

i 'mell like: lavendar baby oil and night-blooming jasmine. i may be sick, but i'm not DEAD.

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what's this? a finally-captioned flog that is finger-licking good? indeed, it is.

obviously i'm not eating chicken in THIS pic, which did NOT make it to my fotolog...but i am thrilled to be communing with a decadent cinnamon roll that was purchased just before leaving monterey, as you can see.

i need to stop posting pics w/o captions...my devotion to inertia means that the flog remains word-free for DAYS. and we all know you come to my online empire for the prose, right? i mean, it's not b/c i regularly post semi-nude or otherwise porn-y pics of myself, is it now? i will happily inform you that the meatiest, dirtiest, most information-laden caption may be found here. i know several of you are lazy, and like direct "chutes" to the good shtuff vs time-sucking ladders. ;)

there is ONE new picture-- a very special one on the main page that begs for your attention and opinion. go. thanks. :D

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after days of incremental amelioration, i took a "chute" back to poor health. :( yes, yes, i know, i should've taken the Z-pack instead of amoxicillin, but whatever. between the hyper-sensitive and UBER-unhappy nose piercing and my useless lungs, i was in for a painful sort of thursday.

i really thought that i was near-recovered; i went out yesterday and nailed several errands, including a costco-run...and we all know how much energy it takes to navigate COSTCO, as you grab Sex and The City's final season on DVD, the book i mentioned that i'm reading above, Mach III razors and oh yes, the two gallons of milk and five dozen eggs that moms asked that i fetch. so much for being competent and useful. gah. BREATHING was my struggle today, as i heard my embattled lungs wheeze with every breath. i think i might have actually wore myself out between inhaling, exhaling and talking to one Livin' Simply on the phone...i PASSED OUT at around six and didn't wake until it was almost eight. evening nap? sans drugs or tryptophan? after nine-hours of sleep the night before, that ended at NOON? wow. writing that even blows *my* mind. six hours of existing, and i was plum-tuckered out. :(

moms is worried.

for the first time in days, i'm running a slight fever. my eyes are glassy and the cough is persistent. she really wants me to wrench out the diamond stud in my nose. "your nose is bleeding, i think you might have to." upon seeing the despondent look on my already unhealthy face, she relented. "okay, maybe one more day. we'll watch it. but it doesn't look good", she cautioned.

sigh.

happy thoughts. end on happy thoughts. like...

i'm in love
i 'mell great
i have new lipgloss thanks to Ulta
the entire first half of season six shimmers at me, from a lime green DVD case...

:)

there. now i'm smiling. :) the first item alone accomplished THAT.

to those of you who called when i was passed out, sorry. to those same people and all others i owed calls to, my mom cautioned that the more i talk, the more i fuck with my throat, the more miserable i am. so my sincerest regrets at being fone-flakey.

okay. time to let you guys get back to debating LAFS on andrea's favourite "Forum". ;)