Dear clueless Asshat,

"Gosh, between Canadians complimenting you without following protocol and guys blessing you and offering condolences for your loss, I'm wondering where you get the courage to continue this blog in the face of so much crap. I can't imagine what your real life is like, you must have to wear a veil over your face like a princess or some kind of moviestar"

Blogs are  sort of like reality shows, and bloggers are the stars.  I hate "Survivor", so I've never watched an entire episode.  (There's a clue in that last sentence...I'm sincerely hoping you have a once-in-a-lifetime episode of proper brain functioning, and you get it...but I'm not holding my precious breath.)

I have the right to complain about anything I damned well please when it's ON MY DIME.  I especially have the right to complain about stupid shit, like people who can't grasp that Indian women born and raised in Amreeka wear saris, too. 

I look good to his western eyes?  The mere qualification of his ocular devices as "western" implies that I'm somehow not.  He's incorrect.  I get to point that, out.  Amazing, no?

As for people wishing me well, offering condolences over the loss of my father etc...I'm humbled and gratified by such kindness.  When they abruptly change their tone and astound me with their sordid intentions, I'm well within my rights to call them out on it.  My two greatest pet peeves are stupidity and hypocrisy.  People who have sent me countless emails and messages exhorting me to read the good book should NOT ask if I'm the girl on a XXX site. 

I'll close by reminding you that Shakespeare thought that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.  That explains why stupid, horrid, whiny me abuses and over-uses it as a technique, but what's your excuse?  I mean, for you to judge me, you must be as pristine as Jesus himself.  You wouldn't attack me by throwing stones at my glass "palace" unless you are better than me, right?

Hope that clarifies things, wormtongue.

Sincerely,

A N N A

p.s.  Just in case you're still confused:                              

                                             

Comments

[maus]

Ahhh, I love a good, bracing dose of "bitch" first thing in the morn...

Remember when every other post you wrote was like this? The good ole days. ;)

[Suja]

wormtongue... VERY NICE.... i think i'm going to have to write that one down and keep it... seriously, anna, i think ima just email you every time i have some haters come around cause no one can tear them down with words as WELL as you can.... =D

[A N N A]

thanks suja. :)

"wormtongue" was one of the characters i loathed most in LOTR, so please credit tolkien for that.

[brimful]

I read this and immediately thought, Anna is a LOTR fan?!? Still, using it as a term for people is an Anna original, so you still deserve credit!

[Sunu]

Anna, my sister read my mind...if someone pisses me off or insults me, can I just send them your way? While Suja enjoyed "wormtongue," I personally appreciated the term "asshat." It makes me happy.

[krusty]

"Clueless Asshat" will be my new insult of the week, thanks Anna!

[It's me...Rick]

"wormtongue"? "clueless Asshat"? "Away, you three-inch fool!"? But to answer your question that since "Shakespeare thought that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. That explains why...[blah, blah, blah, I like to hear myself talk, blah, blah]...but what's your excuse?" Well, Anna, I'm not taking away your rights, or suggesting that you shouldn't express yourself, I'm only pointing out that if the best you can do is, "If you don't like it here, you can go fuck yourself," then maybe, "I will be free, even to the uttermost, as I please, in words," is someone else's line.

Oh, and just because I can say in one paragraph what normally takes you twenty, plus two emotional oubursts (which, by the way, are sooooooo adorable) and a healthy dose of...can I hear someone say OVERREACTING, doesn't mean that I'm better than you....just a little smarter. brat.

[andrea]

i LOVE the internet.

it's the perfect place for people to be mean to each other, UNPROVOKED. a lovely hideout for the socially inept to say all those things they wanted to say to the jocks and cheerleaders back in highschool but they were just too darn scared, under the cloak of anonymity.

so rick, what was it that first prompted you to respond with such negative energy to anna's comment? if you didn't like it, why didn't you just do what you'd do in real life, which would be politely ignore it or speak to her privately (as in an email, not a public comment)? Or does your family have a tendency to air their dirty laundry, and you just picked up on it? or is it the cheerleader complex I mentioned above? think about it. you like the internet because if people squint just right, you might appear like one of the 'cool kids.' admit it. you still loathe pretty girls, even years later.

and why am I posting this publicly, you may ask? because with no recourse to privacy (takethat@gotchaagain.com... so grownup and civil of you!) i have no choice.

[Wurth!!!]

i KNOW rick did NOT just go there... dude, you're seriously messin with the wrong gal... lol u push her buttons enough, and Anna will rip u apart and make u cry for yo mama...you are one brave soul for commenting like that.... i cant WAIT to see how anna takes care of you=D

[Josh]

I used to live in the Bible Belt, so I feel your pain. What I have found is that most of those holier than thou folks are some of the most worst people I have ever known. So if it ever happens again you can just remember that according to Dante there is a place for hypocrites in Hell. As my friend Ravikanth would say to those types, "Screw monotheism and screw you!"

[andrea]

but we do not want to descend into criticizing anyone's religions. anna is monotheistic and she's cool and so is her religion. sikhs are monotheistic and they are the shiznit. so.. none of this screw that stuff..... please... be respectful of beliefs.

you understand bible belt christianity too..... it doesn't bother me that ppl are in church on sunday and lookin at porn sat nite... it proves that they are human n fallible... because i know i am not the best person in this world.. so i cant judge...

sanoj just should have been more quiet about things. oh and that girl didn't look like anna at all.

[Josh]

Oh, I totally agree. I'm all about the religious tolerance. And hypocracy is not true for all. What I am more against is people pushing beliefs on others, especially those who seem to be educated in only their beliefs. If a person who studies all religions and their aspects wants to have a discussion with me about my choices, then I'll listen respectfully. What I found to be the case is that most people who argue against your beliefs have no idea about them and have only really been educated on their own. They never actually consider that it works for them just like my beliefs work for me. I'm just violently opposed to some types due to the fact that they repeatedly told me I was going to burn in Hell, due to my not attending church regularly and worshipping God in their particular manner. In five years I had one guy tell me I was going to the good gates, he's still on my mad props list.