A N N A J O H N ' S D I A R Y

january 30

EFA:   yes
GYM: uh, bronchitis

WHAT I WORE:  pyjamas
I 'MELL LIKE:  antibiotics.  yum!  :p

NOW LISTENING TO:  bis
NOW READING:  the JANE mag w/paris on the cover

CURSED:  yeah
TT M/V?: yeah.  m.

LAST THING GOOGLED:  bronchitis/walking pneumonia

:+::+::+::+::+::+::+::+::+::+::+::+::+::+::+::+::+::+::

uh, yeah. i'm still sick, if not sicker.  started taking noxious antibiotics today;  it hurts to breathe, my cough makes children and other small mammals run away from me shrieking...and i'm exhausted.  eight hours of sleep seems paltry to feeble me.

still, i'm kind of looking forward to work, and that says something kinda huge, doesn't it?  :) 

p.s.  there's a new fotolog with pix of my cousins, but i'm too tired to link to it.  :p

p.p.s.  am TOTALLY addicted to playing blogshares.  is there a patch or a 12-step group for that??

i demand that you subscribe to him via bloglines, at once! you will? awww, thanks!

oh, SNAP.

sjm is blogging again!

well.  if you thought i was mean...i'm a purring kitten compared to this "simian".  :D

p.s.  you may ask the lovely Ranjana why that word is in quotes, btw ;)

january 24

note to self: no posting to fotolog guestbooks when emotional.  if you do this, A N N A, people will just treat you like the freak you are. 

the stupidest aspect of this is, the whole REASON i was looking at this particular fotolog was to get my mind off something that i got in the mail.  i received a very special package today which made me choke up.  it's nothing serious, so please don't feel the need to be alarmed, it was just something i wasn't expecting to see, that had to do with family.  i was surprised by the sorrow i felt when reading.  i now know that i saw everything through that filter.

i wish there was a delete button on fotolog, for the comments that *i* leave when i'm out of my head.  how 'bout THAT for a gold camera feature?  i pay to undo the potential damage i've wrought.

i didn't realise how sad and lonely i felt until i saw my words in her comment box reflecting those emotions back at me.  something mundane that she described made me come undone.

upon reflection, i should've expected that what i was reading would affect me profoundly.  she was discussing a milestone that i don't know that i'll reach. 

i never believed people when they said that writing helps them clarify or understand things, but it's true.  writing this post deciphered the emotional code that couldn't be cracked.  i'm exhausted and falling asleep as i type this, but i'm grateful that i stuck with it.  an hour ago, i was furiously folding clothes, spiraling down a path of self-conscious loathing, feeling stupid and exposed.

at least now i'll sleep.

the alternative (parsing the potential meanings of words and punctuation) is neither something i can afford nor bear.

sigh.  i can't wait to go back to work tomorrow...twee and snow, twee and snow.

AOL IM From PhilliesPrettiest: Ummmmmaahhh! :) [via mobile]

Dearest little nik,

OOOMA right back atcha.  I hope 26 is your best year yet. 

Love,

Annachy  :) 

p.s. you may wish her a happy birthday HERE.

peace+bliss is

...listening to twee,

whilst feathery snow

glides by my window.  :)

such a homely girl

hot on the heels of last sunday's culinary brilliance, i decided to experiment again.  you're all well aware of my costco fixation, and many of you have admitted that you are perplexed regarding how one person can shop so frequently at a warehouse store meant for mormon families and small businesses.  you wonder what on earth i buy there.  well.  i inevitably reply that i use costco the way normal, sensible people use bodegas or grocery stores, i.e. for milk, bread, baby spinach...40-ct packages of dinner rolls.  ;) 

i also buy bananas when i'm there, b/c three pounds of them for a whopping $0.99 makes me feel healthy, virtuous and potassium-rich.  the problem is, i only eat perfect, pretty bananas.  in fact, i like my bananas best when they're unblemished, with that green sheen to them, like when they're barely ripe.  b/c of this stupid, unavoidable pickiness, i tend to enjoy all of two bananas before they turn inedible.  my roomie valiantly tried to eat the other eight, as banana-peel-spots multiplied faster than horny rabbits, but we were still left with three, sad, dodgy-looking, pornographically-shaped fruits. 

and then it hit me.  what is the ONE thing nasty bananas are good for?

let's go ice skating

hell just froze over-- not only am i listening to led zeppelin willingly in the car these days...

i...found...a...PHISH song...i...ahem...*like*.

*thud* <---- me fainting.

Dear clueless Asshat,

"Gosh, between Canadians complimenting you without following protocol and guys blessing you and offering condolences for your loss, I'm wondering where you get the courage to continue this blog in the face of so much crap. I can't imagine what your real life is like, you must have to wear a veil over your face like a princess or some kind of moviestar"

Blogs are  sort of like reality shows, and bloggers are the stars.  I hate "Survivor", so I've never watched an entire episode.  (There's a clue in that last sentence...I'm sincerely hoping you have a once-in-a-lifetime episode of proper brain functioning, and you get it...but I'm not holding my precious breath.)

I have the right to complain about anything I damned well please when it's ON MY DIME.  I especially have the right to complain about stupid shit, like people who can't grasp that Indian women born and raised in Amreeka wear saris, too. 

I look good to his western eyes?  The mere qualification of his ocular devices as "western" implies that I'm somehow not.  He's incorrect.  I get to point that, out.  Amazing, no?

As for people wishing me well, offering condolences over the loss of my father etc...I'm humbled and gratified by such kindness.  When they abruptly change their tone and astound me with their sordid intentions, I'm well within my rights to call them out on it.  My two greatest pet peeves are stupidity and hypocrisy.  People who have sent me countless emails and messages exhorting me to read the good book should NOT ask if I'm the girl on a XXX site. 

I'll close by reminding you that Shakespeare thought that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.  That explains why stupid, horrid, whiny me abuses and over-uses it as a technique, but what's your excuse?  I mean, for you to judge me, you must be as pristine as Jesus himself.  You wouldn't attack me by throwing stones at my glass "palace" unless you are better than me, right?

Hope that clarifies things, wormtongue.

Sincerely,

A N N A

p.s.  Just in case you're still confused:                              

                                             

are all religious freaks perverts?

i think my "brother" wants to wank to me.

this guy, "sanoj", has been posting comments for a few months now-- most of them overtly religious, all of them seemingly harmless.   i think he once went to WIMP and asked why i don't carry a bible in my purse, or something to that affect.  :)  rather than "sanoj", he used to sign off with, "your brother" or "someone_who_loves_you_dearly".

at first he kind of weirded me out-- i'm orthodox, and we aren't "in your face" about our religion--that is something i'm grateful for and proud of, btw.  anyway, to have all this, "annadear, turn to God dear, God will replace your father, pray dear" stuff slung at me was slightly strange, as i think it would be for anyone.

still, i thought i had this guy pegged.  i thought he was an earnest zealot who possibly wanted to save my soul, yadda yadda yadda.  the LAST thing i expected was to see him sign a "fake" email with "anna@cu^t.'

{   this would be a good moment to say that i think fake email addresses are practically an artform.  they delight and amuse me endlessly,  so yes, i pay close attention to them.   all of you "me@anna.com"s or "none@idontgiveitout.org"s...i see you, baby... ;)  }

back to the perwert at...um...hand. 

well, well, well.  the zealot is fanatic about more than just G-d, it seems.

to answer the question that doesn't merit a reply, no, sanoj.  i am not some 'hardcoreindiangirls' staffer, and no, i am not going to that site to see what you're talking about.  i don't like to look at filth.   like aus-ome candy-blogger "P.X.", i'm even thinking of banning your IP addy...  ;)

you are very annoying to read, with my western eyes

i love being needlessly and incorrectly exoticized,especially by someone clueless who uses that horridly slimy "a/s/l" protocol. blech. any joy i'd feel over the kind compliment is eviscerated by this perception that i'm not who i am.  blue-eyed canadians (via his email addy) don't have a monopoly on "western" anything, except a terrible pronunciation of the word "about".

anyway, do you know that i've never a/s/l 'd anyone?

so why on earth do they a/s/l me?

ick.

:+:

subject: yr fotolog pics .
___________________

you are very beautiful to look at with my western eyes!

jeff 24m toronto canada