march 11

i had as much fun as one can while having to work on a saturday (no, no TPS reports were filed).

i was so excited to go to the gym, after eating healthy and rejoicing over how my abs hurt every time i laughed at a co-worker's antics.

i had a night of catching up on blogging (55? my thoughts on the project runway finale?) and fotologging (more from philly!) to look forward to.

like a 12-year old, i was sweetly thrilled about all my new, fantastic eye-shadow and like a...um, 31-year old i was tickled by my acquisition of adorable new green cufflinks, purchased just in time for what would be my parents' 32nd wedding anniversary (march 17th).

and most of all,

i was still blissed out over my lightning-quick and flawless trip to nyc (arrive: thursday @ 8pm...depart: friday @ 3pm), which included a deeeelicious dinner at blockheads, some fun at joshua tree and other 3rd avenue amusements, reminiscing about college, staying up late and waking up later and finally, a perfect lunch of mysore masala dosa/idli/vada with someone whom i lowe and adore at madras mahal...

.
.
.

and then, on saturday night, i became a statistic.

a stupid, unwanted statistic.  i can't believe my life.  or, rather, how spectacularly it has gone awry in a matter of hours.  i had everything all planned out.  but, the best-made plans always get heckled by fate.  also?  it's hard for me to champion all police officers (as i am known to do) when the one they sent to help me was a sarcastic asshole who made me regret calling them in the first place.

please don't worry or assume the worst-- i'm okay.

no, i'm not. i typed that because i don't want to alarm you.  i like you too much for that.  i'm actually stunned and so anxious i could puke.  my head throbs and i have three-dozen wet, scrunched-up kleenex on the floor to explain the lack of skin around the center of my red, swollen face.

but i will be okay.  i talked to my mom, reluctantly (b/c i hated worrying and upsetting her).  i talked to one of my best friends, gratefully (b/c i needed an anchor and a hug).  and he marveled at my "strength".  at my calm.  at my resolve.  if for no other reason than not wanting to disappoint a loved one so precious to me, i'll make sure he wasn't wrong.

so, i'll be all right.  i will.

 

soon.

Comments

[JustDroppingByAfterSoLong]

Anna, my prayers go out to you. I'm so sorry to read your blog this morning. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Know that you are loved.

[andrea]

not sure what you mean by statistic... but i'm sorry that you had to deal with a self-important jerk of a pig in addition to what was obviously a very traumatic experience for you.

The only thing I can say is that trials will make you a stronger person.

Be well.

[Saheli]

Anna! I'm confused. I hope you are okay, or rather, that your becoming okay will be soon. I don't understand what happened, but I send you virtual hugs and extra suplies of kleenex. Take care my lady!

[Anonymous]

This sounds very scary. I pray to god you are okay.

[A N N A]

it was very scary, but i am here. that alone means i am okay. and i hate that i am typing this, but it wasn't something benson and stabler would have investigated on Law and Order: SVU.

[nina]

im sorry to hear something bad went down, i am glad to hear you are ok and i hope continue to be better. if you need to talk or anything, im here!! ((hugs))

[niki]

*hugs*

[scorps1027]

just read this now, and i'm hoping everything is okay!

[ads]

I'm not sure what happened, but I hope you're doing all right!

[maisnon]

I'm thinking of you - drop me a line, or call me when you are up to it.

[yasmine]

Don't know what's up, beautiful lady, but rest assured we're all worried about you and sending much love and hugs and, in my case, whatever sunshine California can spare, which is actually so measly it's not even worth speaking of. *shakes fist at CA weather* May your days be beautiful, always. Chin up, rockstar - and here's a motion to stab stupid jackasses.

[TheBarmaid]

Hope everything is ok...thinking of you.

[brimful]

Hope you are okay, Anna, and I am sending you a big hug.

[Brian]

Hey there,

Some ominous words, there. I can only hope that you're able to reclaim some peace of mind, and soon. So sorry that you had to go through something so scary. Take your time and work through it in your own way. Don't feel pressured to be "strong" for someone else's sake.

Hang in there,
Brian

[masochist]

feel better Anna

[Maitri]

Hey, bright one, hope you are feeling better.

[anandos]

Prayers & hope for the best for you. And a voodoo doll for both your cop and whoever caused you trouble.
Keep writin'.

[someone you lowe and adore]

Dang, what happened? I'm so sorry. Hope you're ok.

[DeutscheDesi]

I read your blog quite regularly. It is quite saddening to hear of your troubles, especially since you usually have a sunny disposition. Hopefully things are better now.

[chai]

sorry im a bit late on this train, but i'm here for you, as always. much love.