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chick pea

they are seriously a bunch of retards.

i'm so pissed it's unreal.

may i prescribe them something from their crap from getting to you.

stay happy anna... and let this slide over you like water on a duck... don't let it get to you....

be well
the bean.

anna is a survivor

Anna, please don't worry about those assholes. The ones who support you are the only ones matter, because they're real people with real heart. Wasting time on pathetic creatures like these only feeds their self-importance.

I agree with you, I've always thought the younger brown generation was fucked up, and this only proves it. Unfortunately there's nothing much we can do about, except be thankful we're not as screwed up as that.

It's depressing really.


yes, don't waste your time reading lj -- you have enough supporters to keep those dipshits in check.

birdie numnums

anna, these self-poclaimed literati types oh LJ are so not worth your time and energy - they feel safe behind their cyberveneer and so say things they wouldn't dare say to you in person.

what i think is so amazing is how people that don't know you or you don't know have come out and posted their solidarity, respect, and support - this is more remarkable and worthwhile for you - not to mention that you have risked much pain to say your truth and let the chips fall where they may. sm has really showed what an amazing community it is :) take care,

The Desi Nole


In the end it is all about the people who matter to you.

We all love you Anna, and appreciate your courage. As hard as it is, do not let some kid get to you. Not until one of your own is hurt, you realize the pain, so let him be.


holy fuck. You write the most personal, moving story that brought tears to my and Shane's eyes and people complain about your WRITING STYLE? This wasn't written for entertainment value, and it's kind of sick that some people were expecting that out of what was really an open letter to all girls everywhere who think they are the only one.

And if anyone knows style, Anna, it's you. Not only do you know the rules, but you know - logically or instinctively - when to break them. Jhumpa Lahiri description of this event wouldn't speak to the girl in question as much as a conversational style that includes as much context and detail as you did in a difficult piece to write.

Plus, from lots of real-life experience with 'em, you shouldn't expect much out of rabid LJers anyway.


heya anna,

just created my v own live journal so i'd be able to post a comment in reply to those assholes...

i understand your anger and anyone would be hurt by the (v v small)minority because of the childish, defensive way in which they made their point..

but just wanted to let you know that a friend frm ur end of the world told me abt sepiamutiny and ur site and i'm an Indian-New Zealander (get ur maps out ppl, its a tiny lil island at the v edge of the world)who lives in Auckland...so ur msg really has reached strangers who appreciate and applaud ur story.

ps re:style remember that Woolf, Arundhati Roy, Zadie Smith (some of my fave writers) etc use longer sentences, stream of consciousness and strongly emotive language. Smith freely cricised 'White Teeth' by saying she knew it was rough and overwritten but sometimes that just works.

I love literature but hate it when it's hijacked by wankers who think clipped minimalism is the only way to write.

always remember: we are the singers of songs, and the dreamers of dreams
(thats frm Willy Wonka in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ;-)...

keep tellin ur stories,



i was born in 1983 and for anyone from that year and later that said what they did on LJ, I'm ashamed. I agree with the above comments....ignorance and complete stupidity shouldn't be acknolwedged. Gaw, how can I be the same age as some of these people boggles my mind! I still commend you for the writing and still think it was amazing. I hope I stay out of that group of the "brown young things (that) are obnoxious, immature and misguided."


i came across your blog via another friend's blog and i haven't stopped reading. didn't comment in the past but i need to now as you have been put through the ringer by some jerks!! you are a brave, giving woman to share your awful experience to help out someone in need...we're all behind you. it's sad to see that some of those arrogent livejournalers did not get the point. keep on writing sister!!

Jacob Joseph

Ignore it Anna, not worth your energy.


Look at it this way, Chica Bella--it's yet another sign that you are a good writer. People take the time to critique what they are jealous of.

Take care milady. . .you have your posse at your back.


So here's my attempt at understanding my sucktastic generation.
I've read that piece over and over again, and then I sent it to my friends' emails.
I've personally never read something as moving as that piece was, and I can't fathom even though i've tried many times after reading that piece on how you must have felt.
The majority of the posters, are all having a fit, because the desis in my generation are mostly all about the partying. So the fact that your story happened when it was the one time you actually went to a party, makes them feel a bit of a "disappointment" You've said something to that degree on your article.
Remember when you had the wine cooler.. and when you said you didn't drink?

I related to that line on soo many levels, my school is craptastic, nothing much for engineers to do, and you'll *try* to be social, but being social translates in going to drinking parties, and everyone offers you drinks. And if you refuse you're def. labelled a "prune" bah.
I always do, but somehow they still don't get the idea.
Desis now, for the majority, know that weed, smoking, and alcohol are "bad things" things that desis aren't supposed to do, but yet they do.
Half the ppl that responded, had major issues with that part.

The rest are just retards,they keep stating your writing skills are shot, and its english 101 [wow..I would wish they would come back with better comebacks, instead of eng101? Seriously, my dad is better with sarcasm] but they never show "where they found it to be sooo horrible"
It's like heh.. everyone's got asses... everyone's got sucktastic opinions.
In the end though, what these desis don't realise is that it isn't about the writing skills. It's about the content, the content is king.
The writing is as if someone's telling a story.
Now, come to think of it, there are bunches of lit devices, which you've somehow incorp into your post, without even knowing it... which just means you completely rock, and it's a *story* hence ALL stories regardless of being frictional or not, will have such devices.
And lastly, perhaps english is fed to them, that they cant understand that you're Anna, and its your story.
I remember sitting there at the end... dumbfounded with the sickest feeling to my stomach.
I've been mute on this, because I'm shock and I really don't know how to respond to the story at all. All I can say is, I was wowed by you initially, [and your beautiful skin too ;)] but I'm completely astonish at your ability to be amazingly srong. After reading your story, you became my very own role-model.
Thank you.
[and I'm sooooo sorry for this looong comment] =)


I actually started reading your story not knowing how it ended, and loved the writing. Otherwise I probably would have bailed much sooner, having a short attention span for low quality writing.

Then I sought out your blog BECAUSE I THINK YOU ARE AN EXCELLENT WRITER and I am drawn to bloggers who can tell a tale well. Bloggers who just talk talk talk don't hold my attention. Bloggers who actually embrace writing as an art form keep me coming back. (I used to blog on lj but found that there was too much talking and not enough writing going on there.)

I am guessing that the obnoxious focus on your writing skills is a smokescreen for how hard it is to handle the information.

But remember you put it out there so other women like yourself would know they are not alone and at that, you succeeded. You broke silence and were punished. I know, I do know how it bites. BTDT got all the pain, fear and spankings to go with it. But helping someone who went through the same thing made it worth it.

You are a great writer and your story matters! So there!


OMG -- I can't believe you wrote that and someone decided to do a critique of the "technical aspects".


I am so furious -- I am seeting.


I can relate to how you're feeling. No matter how many caring, thoughtful people shower me with genuine encouragement and reassurance, I can still be derailed by an ignorant comment from someone who doesn't know the whole story. It took me a long time, but I've gotten much better at filtering out the static.

It's certainly not easy to ignore someone's childish idiocy in this particular case, and to encourage you to do so (especially considering the energy already spent in producing the piece that started it in the first place) might seem like a tall order. It's worth it, though. Don't give them more credit than they're worth.

Have a good week, and hang in there.


p.s. LiveJournal sucks - I've got no time for that or *shudder* MySpace ;)


Here's one for you, you rockstar - something I came across today:

"If they tell you it is bad and you still think in your soul that what you wrote is good, -if you find that you still believe what you wrote and feel it and it is true to you, then you must stand by it. And it might help to think of Beethoven who was stone deaf, and people said he made all those discords in his music because he could not hear correctly. But Beethoven knew that he intended those discords. He stood by them against the whole world. But you can see that this could not have been easy."
- Brenda Ueland

Have beautiful days.


Insecure kids with their "mouths overloading their butts," as some say down south.

They spite you now and would have given you hell had you written your secret in Puliter-winning style. "Oh, look at how pretentious she is for writing about her trauma using $50 words and even more expensive grammar."

I respect your words because they expressed a poignant truth in aid of another, and not your ability/inability to write.

Bugger 'em, as some others say down south.


Here's the letter z. Please to insert it in appropriate spot within above comment.

anna fan in cali

Dear Anna,

I have read your blog for over a year. It has been consistently entertaining, well-written, and occasionally heartbreaking. I just want you to know that there's someone in LA praying for you, everytime she thinks of you. I'm glad you stood up and told your story. Don't let the haters get to you. I believe that those who can, love, and those who can't, hate, cos they can't do nothing else. God bless you for being the strong woman that you are. Peace Anna!


dont let these fools get you done. its liek you say, bad will come with the good in any situation. its not just brown, humans in general lack common decency and respect these days. but remember the girl(s) who read your posts and realize that they are not alone and there are real people out there willing to put themselves out there to help, if that is not encouragement, im not sure what is.


down* i cant type either!!:)



Your post on SM was emotionally honest, raw, painful, and revealing. How anyone could nitpick on 'technical aspects' is beyond me. There are those that lack the ability to understand what language is meant to do - communicate the human condition and thought, it can be done in a word, or one hundred. Doesn't matter. Such is the nature of closed myopic minds.

The tools one uses to craft devices of communication are diverse. But one thing ALWAYS speaks the loudest - the truth. It doesn't matter what its wrapped in. You're a brave soul and you've shown how people can rise to the top.

Vaguely quoting Palahniuk's 'Fight Club', none of us are born beautiful and unique snowflakes, but one can sure forge themselves into one on the strength of their character and choices in life. You're one of those rare transcendent beings, and I thank you for sharing your courage with us.

May your family, friends, and those who have suffered a similar injustice give you strength, and you them. God bless you.


Thank you for sharing your story.

I am sorry that it happened. It is apparent that in the years since this tragic incident, you have garnered strength, wisdom, courage, and above all, love for the self betrayed so brutally. Nitpicking naysayers always persist on the world wide web and it is unfortunate that they've chosen this post to critique.

Above all, it is my hope that your story has provided you with some respite. Trauma survivors often have difficulty remembering the violence - a survival mechanism kicks in, disbanding any diffuse sensations of the night into a permanent numbness. Trying to remember is not only painful, it is also sometimes physically impossible. The very act of writing is in itself a step towards humanity: by recalling and recasting the painful details that led to the dehumanizing act, you have taken a step towards reclaiming the very thing that makes you human.



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