My sister just called, weeping. Eight years to the day that I lost my Father, the only Grandmother I've ever known has died. I feel like I am falling in to a bottom-less pit, like I'm racing through the air, flailing, filled with panic about when I'm going to crash...even though I can't see the ground which would stop this helllish descent. I can't breathe. Why this month, why this day? Why at all? I never got to say "Good-bye"...to EITHER of them. My heart is shattered, again.
My Grandma is gone. My Nana is dead. I will never see her again. I will never get to tell her I'm sorry for being the worst fucking granddaughter ever. I keep losing the people I love and I can't take it anymore, I can't. How much can one person grieve?
Anna,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my grandmother over a year ago. It's such a shock when it happens so suddenly and the family is half a world away in India. I too lost my father 9 years ago and when my grandmother passed, it opened that painful wound again.
Much comfort and love to you and your family at this time.
-Kittenheel
Posted by: kittenheel | 2006.12.23 at 03:26 PM
Some people say that g-d never gives us more than we can handle. They say that this, too, will pass. Those people mean well but they don't ease the pain. Life is a continuous process of overcoming obstacles, difficulties and problems. It's the manner in which we overcome them that shapes us into who are. From your writings I can tell that you are an amazing, elegant and graceful woman. It's the grace that will get you through this tragic time also. And we will all be amazed at the elegance with which you handle it. My sincerest condolences.
Posted by: William | 2006.12.23 at 03:34 PM
Sorry to hear about your loss, Anna.
I hope you're around people friends or family who can give some support.
Posted by: Amardeep | 2006.12.23 at 04:12 PM
I'm so very sorry Anna. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: Saheli | 2006.12.23 at 04:58 PM
Anna Akka,
I hope you find peace in the memories of the times you spent with your grandmother. May she bless you from heaven, and may those around you provide you comfort and peace in this time of sadness.
Love, ~V.
Posted by: LS | 2006.12.23 at 06:39 PM
This is always a difficult time of year, where it seems like the struggles are perpetual. They shall pass, though. know that, and be good to yourself in the interim. as amardeep says, surround yourself with people who love you, and it sounds like there are many of those people.
Posted by: BrooklynBrown | 2006.12.23 at 09:39 PM
Anna,
Just wanted to say that you are in my prayers.
Posted by: Arti | 2006.12.23 at 10:32 PM
sorry buz.
luv u.
tubs.
Posted by: tubs | 2006.12.24 at 12:29 AM
So sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my grandmother on Christmas day 2004. She passed away before I could call to wish her. It took a while to get over it but you do get over it, just takes a lot of time.
Posted by: Jacob | 2006.12.24 at 02:59 AM
Sorry. You and your family will be in my prayers.
Posted by: Anonymous | 2006.12.24 at 08:02 AM
Anna, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. PLEASE call me if you need anything.
Love and Hugs.
Posted by: Kenyandesi | 2006.12.24 at 11:11 AM
Anna ... I am so sorry to hear ... you're in my prayers and I'll light a candle for your grandmother at Mass tomorrow.
Posted by: andrea | 2006.12.24 at 11:18 AM
Anna, I'm so sorry to hear about your Ammachi.. You & your family are in my prayers. HUGS
Posted by: Jiji | 2006.12.24 at 11:24 AM
Anna, I'm so sorry to hear this. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: Rekha | 2006.12.24 at 11:58 AM
so sorry to hear about your nana. praying for you and your family during this time.
Posted by: cousin l | 2006.12.24 at 12:19 PM
miss A: sorry for the tragic loss... you are in my thoughts..
Posted by: chick pea | 2006.12.24 at 01:41 PM
I was raised with my grandmother so i can imagine what you are going through. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. you are in my thoughts and prayers.
chakkara umma annachy!
Posted by: niki | 2006.12.24 at 01:48 PM
Sorry for your loss Anna. You and ur family are in my prayers and thoughts.
Take care,
Navin
Posted by: Navin Nair | 2006.12.24 at 06:43 PM
My heart bleeds for you. I'm sorry.
Posted by: Roonie | 2006.12.24 at 09:23 PM
my thoughts and prayers with you and your family, anna.
Posted by: Yeti | 2006.12.24 at 10:09 PM
Anna, My thoughts and my prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.
*HUGS*
Posted by: Anushya | 2006.12.25 at 12:19 AM
wow Anna, i'm at a loss for words at what you have been going through... may the Almighty bless and keep you
Posted by: titusmaximus | 2006.12.25 at 09:00 AM
Anna,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You are in my thoughts, my dear.
Posted by: Rupa | 2006.12.25 at 12:45 PM
Anna, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. You are in my thoughts, my dear.
Posted by: Rupa | 2006.12.25 at 12:45 PM
I'm so sorry for yoru loss. May her soul rest in peace.
Posted by: Aditi | 2006.12.25 at 09:35 PM