Some of you have noticed and wondered about it, some of you have noticed and worried about it and finally, some of you have noticed and rejoiced-- I have not posted or commented on Sepia Mutiny in almost two months.
I couldn't, because of what I was going through; the number one thing my doctor specified was that I was not to be under any sort of stress whatsoever, lest it exacerbate my condition, which was serious enough that I was on medical leave from work for seven weeks.
Sadly, SM is one of/if not the most stressful aspect of my life, because of my devotion to keeping it lovely (which meant moderating for up to 16 hours a day) but also because the vicious personal attacks are a bit much to bear, even after five years of blogging. It's easy for others to tell me to ignore it, they don't get hate mail. Yes, can you believe it? I used to get hate mail, among the dozens of blog-related email messages I receive each day. That's stressful. I started approaching both my inbox and SM itself with trepidation; what nasty email lurked within the former or worse, what borderline-trolly-is-thisclose-to-being-banned jerk had left a new comment, which was visible on the sidebar? Who needs such madness?
I didn't. Not when my health was being jeopardized. By the way, my lovelies, my deterioration was occurring when my life was simultaneously turning upside-down; I was packing up and moving far, far away...and moving is the most stressful thing I ever do. My job was all shook up thanks to three re0rgs in as many weeks. My ankle got re-sprained. I was supposed to be planning the hugest, most significant day of my life, but that was its own nightmare. When it rains, it monsoons.
So I avoided my Sepia baby, because I had to, because I needed to heal. That's where I've been. Resting. Running. Rebooting. Rising.
Today, the tragic, terrorist attack on Jaipur compelled me to put up my first post in two months. Three out of the first five comments referenced my absence, which makes me feel concomitantly loved and guilty on a thread about something so serious. It is wonderful to feel missed and appreciated, but I don't want to inadvertently threadjack my own post, because of my unexplained absence. Not when I can explain it here, in a more appropriate space.
Thank you for noticing that I was gone, and for graciously, warmly welcoming me home. I've missed you, too.
It's good to have you back.
There, I said it. Doesn't make me any less of a man.
Posted by: KXB | 2008.05.13 at 11:55 AM
Good to see you back
Hari Ohm
Posted by: hari | 2008.05.13 at 12:05 PM
Glad you're back. You at [redacted] now??
Posted by: Dasichist | 2008.05.13 at 12:06 PM
Anna, you were sorely missed at SM. Welcome back!
Posted by: chachaji | 2008.05.13 at 12:22 PM
Welcome back Anna. I was wondering what happened to you at sepia.
Posted by: Pravin | 2008.05.13 at 12:24 PM
yeah!!
Posted by: terence | 2008.05.13 at 12:43 PM
Anna, good to see you back in your element! Missed you @ SM. Hope you're healing well...
Posted by: Bee | 2008.05.13 at 12:48 PM
Glad to see you back.
I wish I could remember the exact quote, but Anne Lamott writes about the moment she realized that when absolutely everything goes wrong at once, it's usually that something new and beautiful and unexpected is getting ready to be born. I hope that's the case for you.
Posted by: Sarah | 2008.05.13 at 12:49 PM
Better to be loved by some and hated by some than to have everyone be indifferent about you. Welcome back. You truly were missed.
Posted by: Fellow writer | 2008.05.13 at 01:33 PM
You left DC? No more meetups! :(
You got married and pregnant?
If so, congratulations.
[ANNA: No, no, no...but yes on meetups, so yay. :) Good golly you assumed a lot of wrong stuff! ;) ]
Posted by: lion | 2008.05.13 at 01:34 PM
Hi Anna
I've missed you too on Sepia. And wondered but being the lurker that I am, didn't ask :-) At the same time, I have been praying that all is well with you. All the best with everything personal and professional.
Posted by: Lurker Auntie | 2008.05.13 at 02:11 PM
Hi Anna,
Glad you are back. I am a devoted sepiamutiny reader, although I prefer reading to commenting:) I really don't know how people can hate you and go as far as writing such hate-emails to you. Please know that the number of people who wish you well, outnumber these haters easily. Just that well-wishers are not as vocal/visible :D
Take care, and I certainly look forward to reading more from you.
Best-
Tania
Posted by: A reader from sepia | 2008.05.13 at 02:14 PM
"I was packing up and moving far, far away..."
" I was supposed to be planning the hugest, most significant day of my life, but that was its own nightmare. "
"the number one thing my doctor specified was that I was not to be under any sort of stress whatsoever, lest it exacerbate my condition, which was serious enough that I was on medical leave from work for seven weeks. "
Of course, I'm happy to wrong though. I was just thinking yesterday how come Anna hasn't posted on Sepia in a while and found your other blog with the airport story.
Actually I even thought about writing an email to you saying, I can see why you are a very complex woman.
Though complex and woman may be redundant words in the same sentence.
;-)
Posted by: lion | 2008.05.13 at 02:51 PM
welcome back :)
Posted by: bytewords | 2008.05.13 at 03:12 PM
hey anna, i read SM a lot but never comment, but just wanted to write now and say welcome back, i always look forward to your posts the most!
Posted by: csharma | 2008.05.13 at 03:27 PM
hey anna - just wanted to reiterate what other folks are saying. please know that for every obnoxious or ignorant comment/email, there are at least 20 (if not more) people who are grateful for your insightful and often poignant blogging.
you've opened yourself up to a community that you've had a large part in creating, and it saddens me to think that you have been so discouraged by people who don't represent the majority of your readers.
hope all works out for you personally, and you are making regular appearances on SM sooner rather than later :)
Posted by: rukku | 2008.05.13 at 03:37 PM
Good to see you back. You were missed. However, stay away or at least take periodic breaks if you must. Nothing is worth the stress and hate mails when it gets too much to handle -- not even SM. All the best with the healing.
Posted by: dipanjan | 2008.05.13 at 05:06 PM
Welcome back!
Posted by: rob | 2008.05.13 at 06:08 PM
So good to seee you blogging again! I had stopped visiting SM for a few weeks b/c I didn't see anything posted by you.
Posted by: Curly | 2008.05.13 at 10:17 PM
This comment was worthless, so it was deleted.
Posted by: SONIA GANDHI | 2008.05.13 at 10:47 PM
Welcome back anna :-)
Posted by: Prasanna | 2008.05.14 at 02:07 AM
Since you are a huge fan of cricket, I meant to ask (but forgot), have you been watching the IPL? If so, who are you supporting (provided you are supporting anyone)? Moreover, did you hear about the Sreesanth incident. What do you think about it?
Posted by: Prasanna | 2008.05.14 at 02:15 AM
This comment was worthless, so it was deleted.
Posted by: Shiv | 2008.05.14 at 05:15 AM
This comment was worthless, so it was deleted.
Posted by: wtf? | 2008.05.14 at 07:09 AM
Are you people crazy... honestly, what has the world come to? This is a personal blog...hence DIARY...do you think that insulting and berating a person makes you look like the better person?
Anna, I have never commented on SM - but I have always enjoyed your posts..keep trucking girl and don't let these ugly people bring you down!
Posted by: Jem | 2008.05.14 at 07:42 AM