A N N A J O H N ' S D I A R Y

heartbreak makes you pretty.

From: Navdeep

Date: August 26, 2004 7:09 AM

Subject: Wondering if you'd consider modeling for a South Asian Magazine

Message:

Hi there! My name is Navdeep Kathuria. I am starting a magazine for South Asian women called ABCDlady, which stands for American Born CONFIDENT Desi! It is starting out online and then, my goal is to get to be a paper magazine in the future. Our first issue is due out next month. You can check out our site at
www.abcdlady.com

I saw your picture in Friendster, 7degrees of seperation:)

I believe you embody the type of image we are going for. I am the sole funding for this endeavor,
so I am not able to pay for any pictures. I hope that wouldn't stop you! Let me know if you'd be
interested! Feel free to give me a call about it--you can reach me at **********. Thanks!

Navdeep
Editor in Chief, ABCDlady
www.abcdlady.com

.
.
.

navdeep,

i am beyond flattered that you think an ancient crone like me is attractive enough to represent your "baby".

i may be interested, i'll give you a call. in the meanwhile, thanks for making my day.

good luck,

anna :)

le bien, le mal

From: Sneha
Date: August 5, 2004 2:27 PM
Subject: hi Anna

Message:

I'm not sure if you remember me or not, but I'm Namretta's little sister, Sneha. We went to St.
Francis together.

How are you? I just signed up on Friendster and I think it's kinda wierd what a small world it is and
wanted to say hi.

I live in Portland...and life is pretty good.

Drop me a line when you get a chance... I'd love to see how you're doing... My sister is living in
Kansas with her husband and son... her son's a cutie and 2 years old.. he's a handful :)

Sneha

...............................................................

To: Sneha
Date: August 5, 2004 3:26 PM
Subject: Re: hi Anna

Message:

Sneha-

of course i remember you! my goodness, what a surprise to hear from you. :)

i am well, thanks for asking...bouncing back and forth between NorCal and the east coast. i'm
thrilled to hear that your sister is doing so well. say "hi" for me, will you please?

i *have* to ask-- how on earth did you find me?! it truly is a small world. i was getting tired of
friendster (it's been a year) but this WAS my favourite use for it...i've even had people contact
me from junior high school...blows my mind everytime. guess i'll stay on it then-- it was very
fun to hear from you. you should put up pics of your family. :)

feel free to add me, if you'd like...

take care,

anna :)

p.s. how's your BROTHER? i saw him at a few davis parties, years ago...and he was a total sweetie. when he was much younger, i remember being at your house and watching namretta use her curling iron on him, per his request-- if that isn't primo blackmail material, i don't know what is. ;)

and then...

From: Lito
Date: August 4, 2004 2:47 AM
Subject: Hi,

Message:

i loved your profile! i am currently here in toronto

can i call you over the fone?

Lito

...............................................................

To: Lito
Date: August 5, 2004 3:28 PM
Subject: Re: Hi,

Message:

no thank you. as my profile states, i have a bf. it logically follows that i am not interested. i also don't think it would be appropriate. i'm grateful that you enjoyed my profile though, that's why it's there.

~ Anna

ninder and nekes FOREVER

to: the DJ@gmail.com
from: me@gmail.com

subject: Anneke's website info and resume
att: AP resume.doc
....................................................................................

darling ninderpinderjeetpreet,

per your request, here is how you find your way around my online empire:

1) let's commence with my web log, the original website that featured my essays on subjects like my dad or love. it gets updated about once a week. this is the "book one", as you call it so sweetly:

http://anna.typepad.com

2) my DIARY is something i write in daily, and it is very popular. here is where you can see what i weigh and what bodyfat i'm at, among other crazy details that people are now addicted to..."kcal" obviously refers to calories consumed, "vasa" is a german word for water. i started recording this stuff b/c i was severly underweight at the beginning of the year (my BMI was ridic!), and if i put a smiley face next to one of those words, then that meant i had sufficient intakes, something that close friends/my sister were checking...

i use the word "'mell" instead of "smell" in "i 'mell like:" in an eternal tribute to the painfully adorable toddler veena, who left the "s" off any word that commenced with "sm-". since i love cheese and once counted eight different kinds in my fridge, i thought it would be funny to note what type i consumed last. "gym" and "write" are simple; did i go work out or did i write today...b/c one of my goals was to write daily and work out four or more times a week. keeping it public keeps me accountable. :) i think that explains all the weird abbreviations...let me know if i left anything out.

http://anna.typepad.com/diary

3) my *newest* site (it's a few days old!) is something that i update with shopping info...i.e. "look how cheap i got this dress for at macy's!" it's frivolous fun:

http://anna.typepad.com/closet

4) my FOTOLOG or flog is the most popular part of my online empire; this is where pictures of you (or your daddy!) show up, with captions, six pictures at a time b/c you're allowed to put up six a day:

http://www.fotolog.net/suitablegirl

5) my *other* fotolog is all about "What's in My Purse?" remember at davis? when sapna et al used to go through my bag? well after graduating, i'd periodically dump out my purse and take pictures of the contents...kind of a long-term art/self-chronicling project that i was really fond of...the process of taking such pictures eventually inspired this flog. i only update this about once a month...but it has die-hard fans. i'm amazed:

http://www.fotolog.net/hedonist

...and there you have it. :)

there is one consistency which makes this entire process of surfing your best friend easier; you can find links to all the other sites on EACH and ANY of the above URLs. no one remembers the exact web address b/c they know i have links up, so please don't feel frustrated (though i do find it massively "aww"-inducing that you attempted to google "flog" to see if i came up!) about that.

enjoy! and PLEASE comment, it makes me high. :D

love you so much,

nekes

p.s. enjoy your GMail...you native silicon valley tech-goddess, you!!! ;)

p.p.s. to answer your question, though the ads are BY google, i'm actually the one who gets paid when you click. so click whenever something catches one of those grand hazel eyes, thanks. :)

just sent this off. no really, i did.

To: SephoraJobs@sephora.com
Cc:
Bcc:
From: ........@GMail.com

Subject: Like all pretty young things, I, too am interested in Sephora.
ATT: AP resume.doc

Dear H.R. Intern who doesn't want to read this:

First off, you look amazing today. I should tell you that before the rest of the world does. I think it's your Cargo/Pupa/Bourjois/Urban Decay Lip Gunk/Gloss/Stain/Stuff...it looks fantastic on you. Well done.

Having praised you adequately, I should mention that I would love a gig at Sephora Headquarters, because it's my favourite beauty store ever. I know my chances of gaining such hot employment are slim-to-none, because rather than contain specific job listings sorted by city or department, your website merely has a pleasant paragraph instructing any and all highlighted, discount-craving, lip gloss-addicted sorority alumna/Miller sister wanna-bes to send an email, if we "wish to learn more about the exciting career opportunities available at the San Francisco-based corporate headquarters of Sephora USA and the foremost beauty Web site Sephora.com...". It further directs that if we "...are interested in finding a position", we are to send a missive to your email address, which probably is a synonym for "never emptied inbox" or "the all delete, all the time show".

No matter. I enjoy long odds and futile attempts at happiness (see: my love life). I love Sephora. And if by some miniscule percent of a percent chance someone with wit is reading this, then mabye, just maybe my resume will survive and get passed along. I dare to dream of an actual interview, but let's not bore you with such fantasy.

At the very least, if you forward this around the office, smile. There's that new miracle cream which is better than botox, to take care of any nascent wrinkles such emotion may cause. You know what I'm referring to...you already work at the mother ship.

Air kisses,

Anna