and my birthday blogging continues...
on a near-hourly basis, i have been seized with a strange, sweet, light-headed euphoria..."i am so lucky." i murmur. "so loved." dozens of birthday wishes rain down on me from a majority of the world's continents. for me???
16 missed calls on my mobile. another 41 missed sentences kept safely in my away message lockbox on AIM, just waiting for me to retrieve them. emails. snail-mailed cards. extravagant gifts-- last minute tickets to nyc for whenever i feel homesick, offers to pay for my beloved and extravagant gym membership now that i'm a jobless slacker who can't, and other surprises i have yet to open, that will undoubtedly awe me as well.
and then there are the gestures that are literally priceless:
- the testimonial harin wrote for me on friendster, for my birthday, that brought tears to my eyes. it reminded me of the potential i once wielded and hope to wield again, shortly. i changed you, affected you, somehow made your way easier, young contractor? no way. i am speechless.
- the AIM away message that samir put up so sweetly (and we all know that since i'm the biggest AIM addict on the planet, this was extra apposite and meaningful) that had a simple link to click to "say happy birthday to anna!" now do you see why i had so many birthday wishes via aim? it's not b/c i'm popular. ;) i can't tell you how much this thrilled me. samir, i adore you. YAMF, and you know it.
- venerable ristorante piatti in palo alto bowing elegantly and indulgently to my sweet but insistent demands that they recreate my favourite dish from their menu...from 1992, fusilli campagnola, aka something they haven't served for the better part of a decade. sure, i never order from any menu whenever i eat at restaurants, but this was extraordinary. their chef had never made it, and they did it for me anyway. bravo piatti. mille ringraziamenti da me a voi. la amavo.
- the woodland nymph who noticed that i slipped away from my birthday on saturday upset, tried to follow me (sorry. the civic cannot be tamed. not by something big and american), and then when that failed, realised that i must have gone somewhere tragic...and then spent hours trying to guess which cemetery in colma i was weeping at, so that they could come get me. unfortunately, there are more dead people in colma than living. you never found me echo, but i'll never forget the fact that you tried.
- the two diesel-clad men in my life whom i adore who flew 3000 miles in the wrong direction to see ME since i wasn't going to be on the right coast for my big day. one of you saw me on saturday night, the other is spoiling me with his affectionate attention for SEVERAL days this week. my liver thanks you all.
- the erstwhile best friend that i am subtly and sadly estranged from, who popped out of a surgery to leave me a voicemail with sugary happy wishes for my best year yet. oh, and RKJ? if i ever need a surgeon? you can't take calls while you've got me open, damn it. ;)
- and then...there was an email, that was sent at the EXACT time that i was born, on my birthday. i am consumed with detail, i celebrate it, so it doesn't go ignored when someone else is as meticulous as this. and what an email it was. i almost hesitate to reprint it here--of course, such pause is rare for me, i don't care what people think and i do whatever the fuck i please...but this email isn't from just anyone. this is someone i love. and i suddenly feel presumptuous at sharing something that was obviously meant to be private. but i've always been one to apologise later vs ask permission first, and yes, i am obnoxious enough to count on my ability to get away with any and everything. no birthday card could equal this, no gift from him could have surpassed it. to my darling-sweet-little-boo-pie-kid-honey-one...yes, i definitely know your name. :) in fact, i knew it before you did, once your father said it to me himself. and just like you, my heart swells with the notion of parallel love, of history circling and swallowing her eternal tail; my father adored your father, we each take after our fathers exclusively and ardently, and now...i adore you. SD, you are a silly child for wanting me - ten. just promise me that whomever i choose is at least HALF as good as YOU + ten. "you own me, 24/7." no one can say you aren't my little brother. "this picture proves it." p.s. yes, of course, go get laid. make akka PROUD, son. just don't hit anyone ugly. i mean, yuck. i don't want unfortunate-looking accidental nephews and nieces. baby diesel is fab but it ain't MAGIC ;)
and this is what you wrote. someone should've been here to say "bless you, anna." b/c reading it made my heart stop for a nanosecond. now you KNOW that you have overwhelmed me. my joy at your "gift" has been declared publicly. :)
What I L-word about Anna:
1. How she calls me little one, kid, kiddo, darling, sweetheart, sweetie pie, honey, honey pie, boo boo, and any combination of those; you know, come to think of it, I don't think she even knows what my real name is . . .
2. How she gives it to me straight, with zero confabulation, something that no one else does.
3. How she makes me think.
4. How I can talk to her about real stuff, instead of the inane bullshit that normally pervades my online conversations; hell, that pervades my real conversations most of the time too.
5. How any comment I ever make that references something said in the past, however subtle, is caught as if it were nothing due to that "legendary memory for detail" (she'll remember exactly where she wrote that phrase on her blog, probably even the precise time she wrote it as well) which is something that no one else can do when I talk to them ("Huh? What are you talking about?" Sigh. "You remember when you said . . .").
6. How I can identify with her, and even better, relate. Felt like I was a fish out of water before I met her.
7. How I can say anything, anything, and it doesn't surprise, shock, mortify, or offend her; I have gotten in so much trouble for my mouth with just about everybody I know—I don't see that happening here.
8. How she's made my search for a girlfriend/wife so much easier because all I have to do is find her minus 10 years (easier said than done, granted, but at least I know what I'm looking for now). Then again, she's also made it harder, because I don't know if there's another one like her, or even close, out there . . .
9. How she succeeds in occupying my thoughts for longer stretches of time than any other subject could. True story: all four of us were going somewhere, and my brother looks at me for a while and then says,
"Why the hell are you staring out the window with that stupid smirk on your face?"
"What are you talking about? I wasn't smiling."
Thinking about the blog/flog makes me grin, apparently . . .
10. How she'll understand (but sigh at) why I wrote "L-word" at the top of this list.
11. How she would condone my getting laid even I were to give the reason that I hit it simply because I'm a guy (girls with that mentality are coooool).
12. How she can write with the poignancy of a Nobel Laureate, evoking such intense sentiments as to make them palpable.
13. How she's a pain in the ass that I can't get enough of.
14. How she's every bit as pretty (if not more so) than Padma. (re: #5)
15. How she "gets" me.
Happy 29 Anna.
happy, indeed. :)