and....it's over.
the show that once convinced me to pay extra for HBO in order to see (well, that and the sopranos)...the show that taught all of you exactly what to call the heels i live in...the show that vindicated my unappreciated, misunderstood fashion experiments...is gone. i haven't watched it in almost two years. SATC kept me afloat when i was turning allergic to d.c. i feened for it back then...once i got to live in new york...correction, once i got to live my charmed life in new york city, i no longer needed to dream vicariously through SATC. suddenly i had my own adventures and punny conversations. :)
anyway, you should stop reading this post NOW if you've tivo'd SATC and you don't know how it all ends. i'm about to discuss. this is what's known as...a spoiler. so hie thee to another blog/post/distraction if you are the only eskimo on the planet who doesn't know whom carrie picked, honeychile.
are you gone yet? fucking scram already.
all right, good. let's get on with it...
i could've told you that she would've picked big. i'm half-carrie (though i'm not buying one of those lame tank tops to declare it) and that's what *i* would've done. when she cheated on aidan with big...that's when i truly understood the depth of her love for "john". i'm not a cheater, in fact i condemn them vituperatively...but i didn't hate her for doing it. life isn't a simple as it was when i was younger, and i had black and white rules that governed my own personal morality. i'm not endorsing infidelity-- that thought alone makes me laugh...i'm the girl so loyal that i won't dance with other boys when i'm someone's girlfriend-- i'm just stating that i understand why she did it...and if you do choose to do something like that then recognise it for what it is; a sign that cannot be misinterpreted. if you're going to hurt someone good and sweet (like aidann) for someone else, than your heart knows the truth. "someone else" is the one you need.
i'm meandering all over the place with this.
it's just that i nodded when i saw the one minute synopsis of the SATC finale. i "got" it. after all, sometimes i think that i have a "big" in my life, too. maybe we all do. i'm a sucker for a brutal, edge-of-your-seat love story. and i'm glad that my 50% alter-ego got hers. may i get mine, one day. ;)
oh, who's my other half?
:)
charlotte. the sorority girl. ( i was almost a Kappa! ) the girly girl. the conservative. the sweet one. EVERYONE always gets me wrong...the real idiots think i'm "samantha", and that's just an apposite comment on how lame brown people can be..."oooh, anna says 'fuck' a lot...she's feisty...intimidating...she must be a whore!" ha. far from it. i bristle at that mischaracterization. anyway, no one ever confuses me for miranda, even though my entire world thought that i'd end up a lawyer. most people say "carrie", b/c of the shoe fetish, the writing and the center of attention thing. anyway.
i'm wasting your time and mine with desultory stream of half conscious.
this isn't what i was going to write...
you see, i have this very personal, important post i've been working on for a week now. it was 95% done and then my laptop died and i lost half of it. and it feels like torture when i think of having to retype it all...i can still see most of the words, where they were placed in that document (i have a near photographic memory for some things-- don't get excited, nothing useful)...how they flowed...maybe it's more than feeling like it's tedious...maybe i don't want to introspect that much again. writing that post was extremely difficult for me. can you blame me for not wanting to go there? it ouched.
sigh. don't worry. i'll go there. i have no choice. (all things shall become clear in due time, children.)
while i procrastinate poorly (i do have a bit of an excuse-- spending the last five days all vomity is NOT conducive to writing ANYTHING), feel free to leave me a comment telling me which SATCer you are. do not feel free to leave a comment telling me that you're getting one of those sad tank tops. i'll just "carry" you. publicly. for your consummate lameness. :)